delfina marina Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 Hi, I'm new here, and I have a concern. I have been seeing this guy for a while and he has told me he wants to be exclusive and get more serious. He seems very into me and is pursuing me pretty hard. I really like him too. Our last date went on for hours with a few different phases and felt much shorter than it was. The chemistry is very strong and I am pretty sure already that the sex is going to be great. We haven't done that yet but I so want to! BUT, here is my one concern so far. He has really bad wandering eyes. I have never noticed this with anyone else I've been with before but it's very obvious with him. He doesn't just glance, he stares. I guess ogles is the word. Very often while we're out on a date he'll check out women who walk by. And I mean down and up and back again. And I'm sitting there thinking what am I, chopped liver? It seems very rude to me. I don't care if he looks but I don't want it flaunted right in front of my face! We bumped into a friend of mine a couple dates ago and she was wearing a cute party dress and he completely undressed her with his eyes the whole time we were talking. It made me feel really uncomfortable and sad. I talked to a friend and she said I could tell him I think it's rude and ask him to be more subtle but I don't like to control people's behavior. I am tempted to dump him because I think this shows he is not a gentleman and doesn't know how to treat a girl. Or maybe he's not that attracted to me. I am confused because he acts like he is very into me but then this! I've never been in this situation so I don't know if this is normal or what. What do you think?
bubbafadass Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 ,it shows a bit of a lack of respect dont ya think?id be telling the dude if i was you,stand uo for yourself dont be treat like a door mat
Adamagnet Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 If he's anything like me, I'd write him off now if I were you, especially if you're looking for something long term because when my eyes start to wander it means I'm not very likely to date you for any considerable length of time.
Geishawhelk Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 Given that he told you he wants to be in an exclusive relationship with you, is there a possibility that he's doing it, but doesn't realise how bad it is....? He may think it's just a question of looking, but maybe he's not aware that it's really staring, and really bugging you..... You need to pick a neutral moment, whilst you're having coffee, by a cafe window.... and the next time he checks out a passing lady, tell him, with faked amazedness - "My goodness, do you ever stop!?" *laugh*...... And take it from there.......perhaps.
Author delfina marina Posted December 4, 2008 Author Posted December 4, 2008 it shows a bit of a lack of respect dont ya think?id be telling the dude if i was you,stand uo for yourself dont be treat like a door mat I am not letting him treat me like a door mat, he actually treats me very well except for this. He seems to have pretty good manners otherwise. I do think it's rude though! If he's anything like me, I'd write him off now if I were you, especially if you're looking for something long term because when my eyes start to wander it means I'm not very likely to date you for any considerable length of time. I have never once called him or texted him first so from that it seems that he likes me and is interested. He has been in touch every day since our first date and we are seeing each other more and more often. He told me he is not seeing anyone else. Would he ask for exclusivity and something more serious if he wasn't that interested? Given that he told you he wants to be in an exclusive relationship with you, is there a possibility that he's doing it, but doesn't realise how bad it is....? I guess that is a possibility but I would be surprised, he is really bad about it! "My goodness, do you ever stop!?" *laugh*...... But what if he just laughs it off or something? Also that seems a little weird to me since I haven't said anything at all about it or showed any reaction and we've had enough dates that I have had time to say something. Seems weird to be jokey about it now. I also imagine it will be hard to joke about something that I think is really rude!
xpaperxcutx Posted December 4, 2008 Posted December 4, 2008 Then the only option you have is to talk to him about it. Men don't actually know what girls think about, and their attempts at understanding how we feel about certain things still baffles them. That's why you have to make your feelings known, or else he will just continue to ogle the next girl that walk past.
Gremio Posted December 4, 2008 Posted December 4, 2008 I'm a male in my mid 20s. To be blune, I think he's either simply dumb, or an *******. In one of my long term relationships, I didn't even look at other women. I am not exaggerating one bit. When out with my guy friends, they would point out women to me (because they knew how deep my love was for that woman and wanted to tease me), and I just didn't care.
Author delfina marina Posted December 4, 2008 Author Posted December 4, 2008 Yeah, I think I'm gonna drop him. I just don't feel good about it. He's not an *******, I think he's just dumb.
Trialbyfire Posted December 4, 2008 Posted December 4, 2008 We bumped into a friend of mine a couple dates ago and she was wearing a cute party dress and he completely undressed her with his eyes the whole time we were talking. It made me feel really uncomfortable and sad. Rude and crude. The odds are slim to none, that this guy's going to be anything but a boor.
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