koala bear Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 Ok so here it goes..... I am 29 and married for 10 years. I do have kids all by my husband. I have been unfaithful in the past once like 4 years ago. So this is my problem I started a new job a few months ago. And my boss is a 21yr old male. He is very smart. I thought when I started AWWW he's cute. Not hot ( more like freind or baby cute.)Any way I have had to work closely with him over the last two months. His car quit on him so I have been giving him a ride to his girlfriends house after work like three days a week. We have always been playful with each other not like flirting more like friends. Well, last night I had a sexual dream about my boss ( It was so real and life like).Now, I want to quit my job and not give him rides to his girlfriends house, I don't want to be around him at all. I don't want to cheat I love my family. I know it was just a dream. I can't tell him about it but I have to stop doing all of the things he is used to with out offending him. What do I do? I have to work with him and I know he will want a ride and I have never had a problem doing it for him. How do I tell him without telling him????
allina Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 I'm under the impression that people sometimes have meaningless sex dreams, I don't think it's a huge deal. Could it be that your strong reaction is an indication of more going on? Do you have any feelings for him? Do you not trust yourself? I'm having a hard time seeing how one DREAM would force you to cheat on your husband.
Geishawhelk Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 Sex dreams are not always about sex. Sometimes they are about personal power, prejudice (about age and gender) and sometimes they are about validation. This might be your subconscious telling you that you need to develop more professional respect for this man. He's eight years younger, barely out of education, but in charge of you. In my opinion, you just need to almost imperceptibly establish different boundaries...... maybe.
Author koala bear Posted December 3, 2008 Author Posted December 3, 2008 Well I don't think that one dream is going to make me cheat. But it did make me realize that all of the things I looked at as just being friendly could be taken the wrong way by a 21 yr old guy. This job is just the only one I could find when I moved to the area 9 months ago and I don't have a problem with him being my boss. But I do wonder if there are some feelings for him that are inapprarite (subconscious). So how do I go about changing boundaries, without making everthing akward???
Geishawhelk Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 Start acting like his really great, hip, modern mum instead of his potential lover. Be friendly, but detached, make sure there is no physical contact, and don't dress inappropriately. Incidentally, this is advice I would give any self-assured, confident and attractive older woman, working for and with a younger guy. It's not specific to you, but it's the way I'd advise you to play it.
Miss Fantasy Land Posted December 10, 2008 Posted December 10, 2008 Unfortunately, sometimes we dream what we think and desparately want. There is nothing wrong with that -- it's just a dream, right? It's when, in your head, you think the other person might want to hear about your dream and that you are confident he will think like you. Don't kid yourself.... don't go there..... you do not say anything to your boss... and tell him to take a taxi. My other adivce is that if you really like your job then keep it. It is all up to you as to how you handle the situation. Maybe you like the attention and wonder how far it could go.... of course, innocently.
mental_traveller Posted December 10, 2008 Posted December 10, 2008 Forget about your dream, it's totally involuntary. What matters is what you are thinking whilst awake. Are you fantasizing about this guy? Or not? If the former, sort yourself out. If the latter, then you have nothing to worry about.
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