Brendi_thesnake Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 I'm not saying cheat but seriously why make it obvious. I think that if you want to cheat then you have to be clever enough to know your SO's working schedule, their friends and family, never give them your real e-mail, create different accounts and most important never do it (whatever the type of cheating is) at their house nor at yours, not on the bed where your partner can easily walk in on you and don't leave any witnesses that can backstab you. Today as I was reading through another forum dealing with the cheaters' stories, I saw this ridiculous story of guy who actually posted about getting caught naked with another woman and desperately looking for advice on how to help his g/f cope with what she saw yet no one was flaming him, can't believe those stories still happen, it's going to be 2009 already geez. Yet he is still with the g/f and seems remorseful. Why on earth do it somewhere your partner can easily find you, common sense. Forgot one last thing, my names's not brendi nor brenda, that's just to fool people esp. if any of my ex b/f's ever were to try getting into my accounts. I see no reason on how you can get caught unless you suck at making good lies or not making it obvious.
Trialbyfire Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 If your SO knows you well enough and isn't in denial, sooner or later, you're going to get busted. No cheater can continue lying without getting caught, unless you're a psychopath. If so, cheating is the least of your worries.
2sure Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 When you pass an STD onto your spouse, its hard to explain. When the OW gets pregnant, immaculate conception is not going to fly. When the OW calls your wife, it raises flags. When OW's Husband assaults yours - spouse is going to ask why
LucreziaBorgia Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 I think one of the main ways that people get caught is when they think they won't, and get sloppy - or just assume that their SO won't notice anything. The signs of an affair are subtle but they are definitely there.
Author Brendi_thesnake Posted December 3, 2008 Author Posted December 3, 2008 I think one of the main ways that people get caught is when they think they won't, and get sloppy - or just assume that their SO won't notice anything. Exactly, they are leaving noticeable traits. That's similar to commiting a crime and you leaving your fingerprints on the place. The signs of an affair are subtle but they are definitely there. Not if you remove your fingerprints in the crime scene. Same with cheating, don't leave nor bring nothing that can be detected. I guess I really know about all of this, I sometimes watched ''The Law and Order'' series and it's quite interesting.
Trialbyfire Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 Not if you remove your fingerprints in the crime scene. Same with cheating, don't leave nor bring nothing that can be detected. I guess I really know about all of this, I sometimes watched ''The Law and Order'' series and it's quite interesting. You don't need physical evidence to get that gut instinct. Once the alarm bells start going, you'll always find physical evidence, whether you slap on a keylogger which is undetectable by heuristic methods and/or hire a PI. Just ask me...
Author Brendi_thesnake Posted December 3, 2008 Author Posted December 3, 2008 You don't need physical evidence to get that gut instinct. Once the alarm bells start going, you'll always find physical evidence, whether you slap on a keylogger which is undetectable by heuristic methods and/or hire a PI. Just ask me... I think so but see I been a player for so long way before being with my current b/f and never really gotten caught. The only one guy that cry out was because I actually told him myself but not really out of deal but to see what he has to say, what were his emotions. I know this sounds so cold but I can't help it, I cannot be force to feel what I don't feel. If remorse is not there, it just isn't.
Trialbyfire Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 I think so but see I been a player for so long way before being with my current b/f and never really gotten caught. The only one guy that cry out was because I actually told him myself but not really out of deal but to see what he has to say, what were his emotions. I know this sounds so cold but I can't help it, I cannot be force to feel what I don't feel. If remorse is not there, it just isn't. Not to worry. You'll get caught one day and all hell will break loose. Expect it if you're playing the numbers game.
Author Brendi_thesnake Posted December 3, 2008 Author Posted December 3, 2008 Not to worry. You'll get caught one day and all hell will break loose. Expect it if you're playing the numbers game. Well now I'm happy with my current b/f and haven't cheated on him, I really like this guy a lot, he's got something special within him.
Author Brendi_thesnake Posted December 3, 2008 Author Posted December 3, 2008 No cheater can continue lying without getting caught, unless you're a psychopath. If so, cheating is the least of your worries. Out of curiosity isn't a psychopath the same as a sociopath? If not, what is the difference, keep getting them confused.
Nikki Sahagin Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 There's something called gut instinct though that usually even without much and/or any signals, comes into play. Plus it would be pretty impossible to leave no signals. You'd change in some way. Seem less interested or MORE interested. Argue less or argue more. There would be giveaways because it's impossible to NOT leave some kind of evidence.
Trialbyfire Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 There's something called gut instinct though that usually even without much and/or any signals, comes into play. Plus it would be pretty impossible to leave no signals. You'd change in some way. Seem less interested or MORE interested. Argue less or argue more. There would be giveaways because it's impossible to NOT leave some kind of evidence. I strongly believe in gut instinct. My theory about it is that your subconscious mind takes in data, while your conscious mind is taking care of daily business. At night, when you dream, your subconscious mind downloads the data and your conscious mind processes the data. With this in mind, your gut instinct is either your subconscious mind telling you something or your conscious mind receiving insufficient data to draw a definitive conclusion but enough to create concern.
XxBacktoBlackXx Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 In my opinion, it is nearly always possible to tell if someone is cheating. I can even tell if someone is cheating in another relationship. It's so obvious. And I have always been spot on.
allanDR Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 I think cheating is horrible and I will never participate in it. HOWEVER, if you're gonna do it, DON'T BE A MORON. I found out my ex was ****ing other people because she told me her e-mail password and I couldn't resist looking. What the hell are you supposed to do in this situation?! I'm still glad that I found out and broke up with her, but I still have this nagging feeling that doesn't make any sense... how could she be so stupid?! I was completely in love with her and I honestly think we'd still be together if she wasn't so retarded. I just don't understand how people cheat and then feel guilty. How do you do it?! All I know is that if I were ever going to have an affair, I'd have a damn good reason for it and I wouldn't go telling them or ever letting them find out. It's like someone committing first degree murder and then saying your sorry. **** that. You're not sorry. You just got caught. I really have zero sympathy for people who "make a mistake". What complete utter bull ****.
Author Brendi_thesnake Posted December 3, 2008 Author Posted December 3, 2008 I think cheating is horrible and I will never participate in it. HOWEVER, if you're gonna do it, DON'T BE A MORON. I found out my ex was ****ing other people because she told me her e-mail password and I couldn't resist looking. What the hell are you supposed to do in this situation?! My goodness that's got to be the most stupidest thing I heard, yes she was a moron alright. I on the other hand got many different passwords and e-mail accounts, but never gave out my real one back then when I was into cheating, I was an expert. Then why give your home phone or real cell phone number, have two or three cells if possible. Then another stupid thing is writng a post with either your real name or picture on it, please who does that, beginners, those with no common sense?? I just don't understand how people cheat and then feel guilty. How do you do it?! All I know is that if I were ever going to have an affair, I'd have a damn good reason for it and I wouldn't go telling them or ever letting them find out. It's like someone committing first degree murder and then saying your sorry. **** that. You're not sorry. You just got caught. I really have zero sympathy for people who "make a mistake". What complete utter bull ****. I know right, if they obviously were happy before getting caught. In fact had they not gotten caught then I bet they would still be doing it. Then here's another thought, if you're caught then do not say you're sorry afterwards, instead say either nothing and be nonchalant about it or be like ''I wanted to dump you in the first place, get out'', it makes sense. While I was the expert at this, my stupid friend gets caught in the act of giving heads with another dude on the guy's house. Apparently the guy came early from work. Anyways her story is the same as the guy in that cheated, he took her back and they're still together. Now how pathethic can that be. Honestly I would lose respect if a guy took me back for cheating, I hate doormats.
Lizzie60 Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 Well I have to disagree with the majority... I am absolutely convinced that one can cheat without ever been caught. If the person is really careful... doing it during work hours, only calling with a public phone.. etc. I know men that cheated all their life .. and they would get absolution without confession (an old saying.. lol). I'm sure some cheaters are close to you guys.. and you have noooo idea..
samsungxoxo Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 Well I have to disagree with the majority... I am absolutely convinced that one can cheat without ever been caught. If the person is really careful... doing it during work hours, only calling with a public phone.. etc. I know men that cheated all their life .. and they would get absolution without confession I agree on that one too. It depends on how you do it and where, plus you also have to be callous and have that cold-hearted attitde of doing it and not caring about it. The lastest cheater I heard was about a woman who was discovered after 14 years of having the affair with the co-worker. Not only that but out of the 7 children, her husband only fathered 2 of them. So the poor man spend 14 years raising someone else's kids and plus he lost the house while the woman is with the lover. Talk about a callous woman and she actually admiting to using her husband for financial needs and stability, for the money only.
Trialbyfire Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 I agree on that one too. It depends on how you do it and where, plus you also have to be callous and have that cold-hearted attitde of doing it and not caring about it. The lastest cheater I heard was about a woman who was discovered after 14 years of having the affair with the co-worker. Not only that but out of the 7 children, her husband only fathered 2 of them. So the poor man spend 14 years raising someone else's kids and plus he lost the house while the woman is with the lover. Talk about a callous woman and she actually admiting to using her husband for financial needs and stability, for the money only. Key word Ailec. Either she was a psychopath or her husband was a few bricks short of a load, for it to go on for 14 years. If she was that good, how was she discovered?
samsungxoxo Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 Key word Ailec. Either she was a psychopath or her husband was a few bricks short of a load, for it to go on for 14 years. If she was that good, how was she discovered? Yup she definately was a psychopath alright, she stated that she never had any remorse for it. She was discovered because after the birth of the 7th child, the husband began having his doubts that it was his, it didn't look like him. This makes no sense how can a woman be a psychopath and at the same time a mother? Then it would mean she doesn't love her children either, since those type of people have no empathy nor feelings for others.
Trialbyfire Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 Yup she definately was a psychopath alright, she stated that she never had any remorse for it. She was discovered because after the birth of the 7th child, the husband began having his doubts that it was his, it didn't look like him. This makes no sense how can a woman be a psychopath and at the same time a mother? Then it would mean she doesn't love her children either, since those type of people have no empathy nor feelings for others.It's no different than men who are the pillar of the communities, the perfect husband and father and have women on the side. The duality of human nature. If you can compartmentalize, I guess you can make it work for you. If you're relatively normal, sooner or later the dual existence and lies will get to you. If you're a psychopath, I guess you keep on doing whatever makes YOU happy. Btw, we don't know what kind of mother she is and was. Who knows if she was abusive.
LucreziaBorgia Posted December 4, 2008 Posted December 4, 2008 she never had any remorse for it... That lack of remorse is what keeps cheaters from being caught. A remorseless person won't act any differently toward their spouse, subconsciously or otherwise. They don't feel like they are hiding something so much as they feel entitled to an outside life that the spouse isn't part of. These types of cheaters are pretty rare though. This would describe your typical cake-person. Most people can't pull that off and eventually get sloppy, whether it be emotionally or otherwise.
Vertex Posted December 4, 2008 Posted December 4, 2008 You can cheat without being caught. However, I am confident in my belief that most people are, simply put, careless/stupid. A lot of the "strategies" cheaters use to avoid getting caught are, in fact, the sort of telltale signs that people IDENTIFY as being indicative of cheating. In general, people are very bad liars. I can usually tell when someone is lying to me based on body language/tone/logic of argument/timing of statement/eyes/how their actions fit in with the general trend of how they've acted lately, etc. Very few people out there pay attention to these things and really understand how to get away with a lie without raising suspicion, in addition to executing the underlying actions properly. In other words, you have to be good enough to be able to fool even gut instincts. The conclusions your gut and intuition arrive at must match the conclusions of your logical and rational thought. Again, most people aren't really adept at doing this because they either get sloppy, tell crappy lies, have contradictions in their explanations (if you're good, you won't even have to give "explanations" because there will be no suspicion), or leave evidence behind -- or at least, access to it (phone records, email passwords, etc). I mean, you'd have to be a pretty careful, calculating, and yet emotionally detached person to be able to cheat without getting caught. It's entirely possible to do, I would think, but in all honesty, it's really just despicable.
sumdude Posted December 6, 2008 Posted December 6, 2008 Because the SO is equally or more wily, sensitive, observant etc as the cheater.
sumdude Posted December 6, 2008 Posted December 6, 2008 That lack of remorse is what keeps cheaters from being caught. A remorseless person won't act any differently toward their spouse, subconsciously or otherwise. They don't feel like they are hiding something so much as they feel entitled to an outside life that the spouse isn't part of. These types of cheaters are pretty rare though. This would describe your typical cake-person. Most people can't pull that off and eventually get sloppy, whether it be emotionally or otherwise. I imagine if someone is emotionally detached from sex, generally doesn't form deep emotional bonds with others then the whole thing is just a transaction. So like a good poker player they have no big 'tells'.
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