Mixed Messages- She breaksup, but calls me?

[njzillest]

My girlfriend after 2 years decided to breakup with me a couple of days ago. I think its because I've been too busy with the guys and she may have felt left out or "second" priority in our relationship. She said she felt as if we'd "lost the spark."

 

She is going to be going to Cornell, while I stay here in community college. I absolutely love the girl and I know she loves me too. She sees something special in me just as I do in her. I honestly I don't know what to do now that shes going to be leaving in 6 months and the fact we don't see each other much at all.

 

Well its 2 days after the breakup. She said hi to me in the hall, and was IM'd me today. I kept the conversation as far away from my emotions as possible (how was ur day etc..) I also kept the conversation short (10 min) by saying I had to sleep.

 

What should I do ? Maintain No contact, or just talk to her as a friend? I dont know why she would contact me so soon. I've realized my mistakes and I feel like I can make this work out (we once brokeup for 3 months, dated other people, then cameback together.)

 

What should I do?- Any advice would be greatly appreciated...

.. Plz feel free to ask for any details

Thanks

[Gremio]

I know it's very hard, but look at the long term. If she is moving away in six months, what will trying to fix it do? It's a temporary solutation to a permant problem later.

[njzillest]

that is true.. and I have taken that into consideration.. but what's the deal with the immediate contact? does she feel bad or does she miss me? I mean the break up was due impartially due to the llack of communication..

 

I'm sure people with this problem are just as can help and ones stuck n a similar predicament can relate..

[LucreziaBorgia]

I think it is something as simple as what happens when you take the training wheels off your bike. You may not need them, but you remember the security you had when they were still on and may from time to time peek in the garage and see if they are still there in case you may want to put them back on again.

 

In other words, she is walking away while peeking back. Don't pay so much attention to the 'peeking back' part. Put your full focus on the fact that she is walking away and then you can turn and do the same.

 

Maintaining a friendship will do nothing more but complicate things for you in your process to find someone else who will be a better emotional fit for you.

[carhill]

OP, you're familiar and part of a familiar routine. Think of it as weaning the baby off the nipple. In this case the nipple of your familiar presence in her life.

 

It's really nothing more than that. At your age, there's something you have to understand about your female contemporaries. They're very pragmatic. They know they can replace you at will. It's really not a problem. So, they work out relationships to match their needs. Your young lady will find a nice young man at Cornell and move on from there, and so on and so forth. Part of the pleasure and pain of gender independence is the transitory nature of relationships. You'll find a nice new young lady and memories of this current lady will fade into warm memories of your past.

[njzillest]

ouch that hurts... well then ill just maintain no contact...

 

thanks