spookie Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 Ok. There's a good chance I'm completely delusional. In my best friend's opinion, this soap-opera is ACTUALLY playing out like this: Jack is acting professional, if not uptight; and I'm a sociopath. He says he can imagine us: me, reeking of too much perfume with my face done up like a stripper's, in clothes too skimpy and short, flirting outrageously, ; and him, taking absolutely no note. Maybe. In my opinion, though, we have a really intense connection, and no way to fully reach each other through it. (we can only touch each other through excel, which is magical and romantic enough anyway.) We can't talk about whatever. We can't hang out if we want to. And even when we're alone, we can't just be ourselves, cause, let's face it... "myself" is not work-appropriate. (Whose self is?) But I am completely in love with him. And I get really strong senses of emotion coming from him, as well as the occasional glance of deep affection, directed at me most often when I am not looking. We'd be soright for each other. He's man enough to handle me. I'm smart and crazy enough to keep him stimulated and entertained. Our goods AND bads complement one another's, IMO. I think he think he knows this. Definitely, he is starting to feel it. He's scheduled these 1-hour meetings in private with me, every week. Today was the first. He told me about something important work-related for 5 minutes, and then he said, "And now, your floor." I was stumped. I was already so nervous and TENSIONNY (in a good, giddy way) from just being around him, I could not think of anything to say. All the things I really wanted to talk about seemed so... wrong for the context. ("Do you have any brothers or sisters?") So I said, "Why don't more people scout cancer wards for husbands?" He looed shocked and perplexed, until he was realized I was talking about insurance fraud. "Because only the employees are guarantee-issue," he said. "The spouses still have to go through underwriting." "Damn," I said. "There goes that plan. Those guys are gonna be PISSED!" He laughed at me. But these meetings... I can EASILY use them to seduce him. I mean, they're practically an invitation anyway, all on their own. He can't exactly just push me on my desk to ravage. He doesn't want me to sue him for sexual harassment. So the ball's kinda in my court.
Vertex Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 I'm sorry, but it all just seems like a really, really bad idea to me.
allina Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 I know my opinion here is not a popular one but I just don't think sleeping with you boss in this situation is a big deal. Just keep it private, quiet and professional at work.
Author spookie Posted December 3, 2008 Author Posted December 3, 2008 I know my opinion here is not a popular one but I just don't think sleeping with you boss in this situation is a big deal. Just keep it private, quiet and professional at work. Ok. In that case: do I do it the old-fashioned way for wanting-a-relationship purposes, and make him think he's chasing me, or just do it like in the movies: take my shirt and bra off when he's not looking to catch him off-guard?
movingonandon Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 Ok. In that case: do I do it the old-fashioned way for wanting-a-relationship purposes, and make him think he's chasing me, or just do it like in the movies: take my shirt and bra off when he's not looking to catch him off-guard? don't forget to tie me, i mean him with his own tie /belt while stabbing a stiletto heel in his heart region while kicking him off his chair onto the floor . Also, leave the contact lenses at home. Thick framed eyeglasses are the way to go . (You need to look a special kind of menacing when starring down at him in the process of pulling up your charcoal grey pencil skirt)
johan Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 I mean, they're practically an invitation anyway, all on their own. He can't exactly just push me on my desk to ravage. I don't think you'd want him to do that, anyway. Ravish, maybe. Is all this some kind of metaphor for that cockroach you found at your place? Didn't you name him Jack?
Author spookie Posted December 3, 2008 Author Posted December 3, 2008 I don't think you'd want him to do that, anyway. Ravish, maybe. Is all this some kind of metaphor for that cockroach you found at your place? Didn't you name him Jack? Listen. I suck with names, even fake ones. And English isn't my first language.
johan Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 Listen. I suck with names, even fake ones. And English isn't my first language. Ya ponimayu.
Author spookie Posted December 3, 2008 Author Posted December 3, 2008 Ya ponimayu. Horosho. .... Any other takers? Any one have any experience with this situation? Would I get more advice in the whoreish OW section, from women with trouble with boundaries?
SierraRose Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 Think of a few things before you leap... Do you value your job? What if he suddenly rejects you (before or after)? What would you do IF it got out to your co-workers? Although it sounds enticing, just think before you do anything.
Citizen Erased Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 Horosho. .... Any other takers? Any one have any experience with this situation? Would I get more advice in the whoreish OW section, from women with trouble with boundaries? Yeah, I don't think they take being called whores too kindly.
allina Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 It really depends on what you want, and I'm assuming it's a relationship with him. If so, the crucial thing to prove to him is that you're a sane, awesome chick who knows how to keep things private and keep it professional at work. Easing his fears about getting involved is key.
johan Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 Ya,.. I mean I have had experience with a few work relationships. I regret them. I recently backed away from one with a spectacular Siberian, because I know how those things go, and I care about my job. I've become immune to the kind of crushes that you describe though. How people feel about things when they want them is a lot different from how they feel when they get them. You might be convinced that you could handle things with him, and you might be right. He might also be convinced. But once it happens, that's when you find out. And if things don't turn out like you want them to, then you're looking at a mess. I remember your last guy, the bed wetter. You had an amazing crush on him. Then you actually got to know him. Then you dumped him. He could be in the cubicle next to you every day. How would you like that?
IrishCarBomb Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 like in the movies: take my shirt and bra off when he's not looking to catch him off-guard? Love it: "Whoops! My shirt fell off!!" Never fails....
BlueEyedGirl Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 I think you should go for it. The less you talk about it the better. If you make some sort of physical move he is less likely to reject you. If you tell him that you like him he might say 'no' to be appropriate. I think in this instance you should concetrate on seducing him sexually rather than relationship-wise. If all goes well this will follow.
Nemo Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 Hide under his desk. That's a great way to break the ice.
Meet 4 Coffee Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 If he is interested, he won't let the fact he's your boss stand in his way. He'll make a move and ask you to coffee or something. I definitely wouldn't pursue this. You could be way off base that he's even interested in you.
SierraRose Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 Yeah, I don't think they take being called whores too kindly. No we don't:eek:
Nemo Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 These "private meetings" seem like a pretty transparent attempt to get into your pants. Tell him that you want to be on his staff. That you are very happy in that position. That you will continue to suck, but only because you're having a little trouble taking it all in. And that you're sure it will eventually come, with patience on his part. Finally, tell him that you appreciate how much he sticks up for you, and that you admire his balls.
Trialbyfire Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 Here's my typical response. Don't get involved with someone who's in the same chain of command. You're asking to get screwed...twice...
Isolde Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 If he is interested, he won't let the fact he's your boss stand in his way. He'll make a move and ask you to coffee or something. I definitely wouldn't pursue this. You could be way off base that he's even interested in you. I have to say I agree. I'm not one to dismiss work relationships if two people are truly right for each other but this sounds just like lust to me. I know that sounds harsh... oh well I hope he asks you out eventually anyway
BlueEyedGirl Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 I have to say I agree. I'm not one to dismiss work relationships if two people are truly right for each other but this sounds just like lust to me. I know that sounds harsh... oh well I hope he asks you out eventually anyway It DOES matter that he is her immediate boss. It would be different if they are two co-workers.
Trialbyfire Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 Actually, I'm going to change my position. Do it spook! You'll do as you always want to do, regardless of advice given. If it blows up, you're the only person who will be paying the price. It's your life to make smart choices or frack it up. Perhaps some experience in this area, might not damage you for life. I should tell you some stories about work situations that have blown up uglier than hell but I think you need to find this out on your own.
Author spookie Posted December 4, 2008 Author Posted December 4, 2008 I think you should go for it. The less you talk about it the better. If you make some sort of physical move he is less likely to reject you. If you tell him that you like him he might say 'no' to be appropriate. I think in this instance you should concetrate on seducing him sexually rather than relationship-wise. If all goes well this will follow. I think you're right. In this situation I think the road to his heart IS through his pants. However... Today I saw him in action with another girl, and it made me doubt all that we had. Granted, he's known her for years and she's married with 3 children, but still. She made him laugh WAY harder than I do, AND I saw a lot of eye-communication going on. My heart kinda broke.
Meet 4 Coffee Posted December 4, 2008 Posted December 4, 2008 I think you are crushing on him simply because he is your boss and your youth and inexperience in the professional world of work is magnifying your attraction to him. Also you are naive if you think that just because a guy wants in your pants (which hasn't been established yet) means that he wants a relationship with you. He very well could be hot for you, but just for a lay in the hay.
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