stoneymirror Posted December 2, 2008 Posted December 2, 2008 My ex dumped me almost 3.5 weeks ago. This was the second time she dumped me in the two years we've been together. And it was over the exact same insecurity, which was a family friend who was a girl that she felt threatened by. So this time I've been NC the entire duration of the breakup. I was completely shocked to hear her end things, cause I really thought she moved past this thing. She didn't have anything to worry about, this girl is my sister's best friend. No matter how hard I tried, she just wouldn't accept the fact I have no feelings for this family friend. It's like the harder I tried the less she believed me. Ahhhh. Well now I'm at a crossroad. My ex left me totally confussed. She ended things saying we were too different, that I could find better, that I wouldn't want to be with her for the next 2 months cause she was tired and depressed, and basically wanted to give up, etc. but what really has me questioning things are the other things she said during the breakup. Like I love you, she said she thought she might be self sabotaging the relationship, That she didn't feel this way a week earlier, and the last few words she said to me was I'll call you in 2 months if everything goes well. This was a girl wanted to move in with me just a week earlier, so obviously I'm totally shocked to hear what's coming out of her mouth. So I'm at a point now that I've been asked out by a few girls, and as much as I'd love to talk to the ex and see where she stands, I can't cause she asked me to not contact her. I know we could work things out, cause we worked on a lot of things in the relationship and even though we might have lost sight on a few things from time to time, we generally were improving on the relationship. We hadn't fought for almost an entire yr up until this last issue. I feel awful, cause I want to tell the ex how I feel, cause I wasn't able to when she broke things off cause I was driving my car and couldn't focus on what was actually happening until it was already over. Now I have two girls knocking on my door, wanting to go out on dates. I'm going to go ahead and do it, but part of me feels like I did nothing to reassure my ex that I really didn't want this to end. She broke up with me, I basically saw I couldn't change her mind, and told her that, and just accepted it. Nothing I could have said would have changed her mind at that moment. So what do I do? Do I attempt and display my feelings through a letter to her, or possibly a phone call, or should I just let her go and not contact her at all? My ex always needed a lot of attention and part of me thinks she needed a break, cause a lot of stress seeemed to be mounting over her job, career, etc. and having to see this girl just sent her over the top. The other part of me that's questioning the validitiy of her decision is the idea that her insecurities had gotten the better of her and wanted out before she got hurt. Is this a cry for help or am I making something out of nothing here and she just wanted out?
9Lives Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 The only thing I can say is she sounds unstable. She may keep taking you back and forth cause she can. I would put my best interest in front of hers. If she hurt you once, she will hurt you again. I would not contact her. Let he be a big girl and make a move since she keeps calling it off. My ex was like this and in the end I was the one hurting and trying to put the pieces of my heart back. I would keep my options open. Work on getting your heart out of her hands. She is very shaky.
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