I am a stupid girl. Don't be friends with your ex.

[anya85]

So after waiting around like a dingbat for two months secretly hoping my ex was missing me and maybe wanted to get back together, I've given up. I feel very foolish now at how the story has played out. So much wasted time and energy... Pretty much, he'd always been very friendly to me since the break up two months ago, often times initiating contact, showing interest in my life, being generally cheerful and asking me all sorts of questions about what is going on with me. All of this, of course, I took to mean he was curious and possibly regretful. I never got over being dumped, I didn't let myself---because I was certain that he secretly wanted to get back together and I just had to be patient.

 

So, we'd been talking pretty regulary--few times a week since late Sept. I didn't contact him hardly ever, he contacted me 90% of the time. I tried to seem very calm, collected, busy. Things seemed to be going well. Whenever I disappeared for several days, upon my return(online) I was greeted by my very cheerful ex--wanting to be caught up on all the happenings of my life. He asked me a few different times, if I was seeing anyone, if I'd gone on any dates, being curious about my plans...Well this past week or so, he'd been talking to me alot. He sounded sort of depressed, indicating that he felt very lonely, like his life had no direction, like he was getting older. We had very "deep" converations over AIM. I was so sure he was going to tell me he missed me. He seemed to contact me daily for awhile there. Then, imagine my surprise, when he tells me that he feels like he should be meeting the right girl at this point in his life. That he needed to put himself out there more so he could meet her, because he felt his current lifestyle was hindering it. Apparently, I'd played my cards a little too well and good ole' ex bf thought I *was* over it. I realized that he really does see me as a friend, he's not pining over me, he's lonely for someone else! It was like a slap in the face to be told all this by him while I was still very much missing him and being hopeful.

 

I decided I had to be straight with him. I sent him a message--pretty much laying it all out there. How I did still have feelings for him, how I realized I'd told him otherwise, but I *had* been hurt when he'd broken up with me two months ago, how I wasn't sure how to take some of the things he'd said to me because of this and how I didn't feel like I was the one to tell this too. How I'd tried not to show it, but the two months since the break up had been very difficult for me and though I did feel better about it, I wasn't "healed" completely. I log on AIM a little later and he messages me. He tells me he got my message and he apologizes and that he didn't realize he was "treading in the wrong waters" and how he must have sounded like an a**hole. I tell him he doesn't need to say anything and that just getting that off my chest was a huge burden off me. He says "good". He doesn't say anything else to me for awhile so I log off.

 

That was several days ago. For me, that was what I needed to let go. I feel like whatever I was holding on too is gone now and maybe now I'll *finally* be able to move on. I think I just needed to be rejected and that has sufficiently happened for me now.

 

Last night, he IMs me over AIM with some random crap about how he doesn't know how to prepare for his job interview. I simply say that I'm sure he'll do well and nothing else. I really don't feel the need to talk to him any more. It's unfornate that we can't be friends, but now that I'm faced with this realization that he's looking for someone else, I know I won't take it very well when he does. Best to cut him out now, I guess. I'm actually a little annoyed that he felt like he could just lay all his problems on me, tell me all his worries, insecurities, etc. That's girlfriend stuff and thanks to him, I'm not that person any more so he can go lay it on someone else. Jeez.

:/

[Jenny123]

Men, me me me eh;)

I would take a step back, not be as availiable, ur making it easy 4 him so he doesn't feel alone. Do u want 2 be the leading lady in a guy's life or the best friend?