danny407 Posted December 2, 2008 Posted December 2, 2008 So as you may know from my post my wife left me and I am meeting up with her tonight. Well she just called me at work at told me I get my wish she is coming back home. So I was like how come you know! She states because she is tried of her parents yelling at her about walking out on us. So as much as I want her back, she wants to come back for all the wrong reasons! what do you guys think I should do? how do I react to this number! Thanks all. {I meant need help guys lol}
Gowithflow Posted December 2, 2008 Posted December 2, 2008 If you let her back you need to tap the phone to make sure you are not being played. The sex needs to be good as well, otherwise it's not worth it. You will want to kick her out, then you will be the bad guy, not her. Don't let her spend your money either.
cyabye Posted December 2, 2008 Posted December 2, 2008 So she cares about what her parents say and not her husbands? Let her be her parents problem. She really needs to grow up. You will find yourself in the same boat again. Nothing has been worked on and nothing has been fixed in your marriage. She will leave again. She is not coming home for you or herself. She doesn't want to hear her parent's mouth anymore. I'd wish her the best and go NC. Good luck. cyabye
mark982 Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 there aint no way in hell i'd let her come back! tell her find her own place, then "maybe" work on your problems. she really has alot of gull.
Nomad1 Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 Letting her back will be the biggest mistake you will ever make, especially with her attitude! As someone else said, she will do it again! She will have no respect for you for letting her back. This is time to bail out firmly, but cordially. Tell her that you love her, but you are not in love with her; that you need space; that you are confused, that 'it's not her, it's you'. You know the drill. Turn the table, don't let her have what she wants! Good luck Nomad
PWSX3 Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 Been there done that!!!! Me & my W separated for 7 months, she came back & things were good for about two months then they went south. What happened in those 7 months I started to do new things, wanted to get out more, learn new things & she became a couch potato...... If she wants back, I would suggest counseling (before she moves back) start maybe taking some marriage classes at a local church, tell her no sex because that will just make things more confusing, (work on the problem don't try to cover it up.) I WOULD NOT let her move back in, make sure the relationship is better before. I know in my situation we got back way to early & in Aug. she moved out again maybe for good.......
LakesideDream Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 So as you may know from my post my wife left me and I am meeting up with her tonight. Well she just called me at work at told me I get my wish she is coming back home. So I was like how come you know! She states because she is tried of her parents yelling at her about walking out on us. So as much as I want her back, she wants to come back for all the wrong reasons! what do you guys think I should do? how do I react to this number! Thanks all. {I meant need help guys lol} This is a story I've heard/read before. First there is a message in her statement about her parents. That message is that he parents opinions, and ability to put pressure on her is important because she respects them. Your needs and desires she is not affected by because she does not respect you. The above is why your marriage won't begin to heal (if that's possible at all) if she moves back in with you. At best she will "bide her time" hiding nuts and acorns waiting for the next "escape". My suggestion is that you explain to her that the problems that led to her leaving are as yet unresolved, and politely turn down her attempt to "move in" and suggest that you will support her emotionally until the two of you have had some productive counseling and both believe that there is a future for the relationship. Watch her attitude/responses closely. You may learn valuable things.
reddog63 Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 So as you may know from my post my wife left me and I am meeting up with her tonight. Well she just called me at work at told me I get my wish she is coming back home. So I was like how come you know! She states because she is tried of her parents yelling at her about walking out on us. So as much as I want her back, she wants to come back for all the wrong reasons! what do you guys think I should do? how do I react to this number! Thanks all. {I meant need help guys lol} I read and have been told by counselors, that the biggest mistake in separation is coming back for the wrong reasons. I think it is a mistake until the problems are addressed, you will just repeat the scenerio.
pelicanpreacher Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 I'd advise that you stick to posting on one thread because it makes it easier for posters to follow your situation rather than researching all of your threads. As to the wife sucumbing to the pressure put on by her parents I'd say that if you let her back under these circumstances all you will get from her is resentment. Like Lakeside posted, she'll bide her time while hatching a plan to secure enough money from the marriage to leave the next time on stronger financial footing so that she doesn't have to rely on support from her parents which will make all efforts made by you a collosal waste of time. If you want her back then she'll have to demonstrate that she will openly and freely give you her love and devotion, and that she'll willingly make her life transparent to you for it is she who has broken the trust!
wisebutnotperfect Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 my advice as a guy who had a wife disband our family. i would actually try to let her know, in a supportive way, that although you would like nothing better than for her to be home with you and your family, she needs to come back if or when SHE is able to be committed to making things work.. shouldering the responsibility of being a partner and working side by side with you pulling in the same direction. If she comes back before SHE wants to she will end up leaving eventually on even worse terms even angrier with whomever she feels "forced" her to go back. good luck
Dexter Morgan Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 So as you may know from my post my wife left me and I am meeting up with her tonight. Well she just called me at work at told me I get my wish she is coming back home. So I was like how come you know! She states because she is tried of her parents yelling at her about walking out on us. So as much as I want her back, she wants to come back for all the wrong reasons! what do you guys think I should do? how do I react to this number! Thanks all. {I meant need help guys lol} She didn't say she wants to come back because she loves you, or doesn't want to lose you. DO NOT let her come back in your house. She is doing it because she is getting tired of getting bitched at by her parents? Get real, and tough s##t. don't let her back in.
Recommended Posts