esther0123 Posted December 2, 2008 Posted December 2, 2008 so long story short, this guy seems really interested in the beginning (asking me alot of questions, lots of eyecontact, etc) and keeps asking me to hang out with him, but constantly goes no-show, and then asks me out again. well, i havnt asked him out first ever really so far, and apparently according to my friends i also blew him off unknowingly.. (once i said ill get back to him about hanging out never did?) and i apparently usually come off nonchalant and indifferent? not sure.. but i havnt seemed eager in any way.. but i thought i made enough effort to seem a little interested, isn't wanting to hang out when asked enough interest shown?!?! for instance, he wants to come over and hang out, then he goes no show... and he said he'll call a certain day, no call... most recent incident is.. a few nights ago, he wants to hang out the next day. I reply back a few hours later telling him to call me if he wants to hang, and what do u know, no call. and when i asked if we were still doing something that day, once again, no reply. so is he just plain flakey? am i coming off too aloof and he got discouraged? do men play mind games? or is he simply just.. uninterested? i thought when men like a woman, they pursue her blindly!?!
SoStupid Posted December 2, 2008 Posted December 2, 2008 hmm this is a little odd.. It sounds like to me you both are not sure what to think of eachother.. I would talk to him about it.. ask him how he feels about you and tell him what you think about him. Good Luck. -SS P.s. do men play mind games? MOST DEFINATLY
Gremio Posted December 2, 2008 Posted December 2, 2008 i thought when men like a woman, they pursue her blindly!?! It's not about men, but anyone interested should pursue. I'm interested in someone right now and I call her, text her, answer her calls, make plans etc. If you have to ask if he's not interested or flaky... do you want to settle? Either option isn't worth it.
Star Gazer Posted December 2, 2008 Posted December 2, 2008 He sounds EXACTLY like the last guy I dated, to a T. He'd say, "Let's do something Tuesday after work." I'd call Tuesday, no response. He'd say, "Let's hang out at my place tonight." When I'd call later, no response. A few days later, he'd be back - in full force, all cute and flirty.... even by doing something "big" to "make it up to me." I happen to know that he's flaky in general, and very noncommittal about almost everything, even with friends and family. So it was hard to tell if it was a sign of lack of interest, or just his personality. Thing is, it doesn't really matter...does it? IMO, even a flaky person "shows up" when they ARE in fact interested, at least to the level that you'd deserve if you're going to date him. I say drop him like a hot potato.
fivefive Posted December 2, 2008 Posted December 2, 2008 From a guy's perspective, I would really like more reassurance from a woman. Yea we may seem flaky and hard to read at times but BELIEVE ME, WE FEEL THE EXACT SAME WAY AS YOU DO. We sometimes have a hard time knowing what you women really want. I know that when I ask a woman to hang out or if one of my male friends ask women to hang out, we genuinely want to be "more" than just friends. It's just that you women sometimes are just sooooo hard to read. We'd like assurance that you are genuinely interested as well. It seems like you're both giving mixed signals. The guy might ask you to hang out, but it seems that he probably isn't sure of where YOU stand with him. That's probably why he flakes all the time. I think he is interested in you but is scared to find out how you really feel about him. Whether you want to be just friends or more than that.
Charles1978 Posted December 2, 2008 Posted December 2, 2008 I pretty much agree with the poster above. But you two are at a weird stage. The stage where no lines have been crossed yet. Neither knows what the other is thinking. And instead of going full steam ahead and maybe screwing things up... they take the safe route. I would guess that he just doesn't know what you think of him. For that reason, or maybe not for that reason, he is either confused or doesn't know what you think of him. The longer you know someone without that line crossed into physical affirmation of any kind... the harder it becomes to take the smallest steps. By affirmation, I'm not talking about making out or having sex. I'm talking about the little subtle things that we all naturally pick up on... touching, flirting, and the subconscious reactions that we all give to those we are interested in. He is probably not picking up on these things from you, so he is afraid of rejection and embarrassment. Kick it up a notch if you really like him and see what happens. And just to add: Guys do not pursue "blindly". In fact, we need to know that the girl is interested. I don't know of any guys who would pursue with no indication of success along the way.
Author esther0123 Posted December 3, 2008 Author Posted December 3, 2008 guys play hard to get too? I thought it was just girls.........................!
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