rod24773 Posted December 2, 2008 Posted December 2, 2008 My wife 46 has been under doctors care for depression and menopause problems for five months taking an anti depressant which made her a zombie .Her behaviour is completely opposite of who she was prior to this, a caring loving mother and wife . She at one point in this tried to convince me to sell our home and go in huge debt in order to buy this large $400,000 house .She wouldnt take no for an answer and she was bound and determined to do this speaking to realtors behind my back . That fell through. She then started dressing nicer and spending more time away from our family (boys 6 and 13) .On Nov 1st she told me she has been having an affair for 4 months and she and this man have a special bond no one can understand ,.She came right out and told our kids straight out without any feeling or anything. For the past month she has been living in our home and thinking nothing of getting all dolled up in front of us three going out on dates .This woman was a saint prior to 5 months ago. After speaking to our doctor he now feels she is manic depressive or largely delussional. She has just moved out yesterday .All her family and close friends are worried as she is messed up.She only sees this man and nothing else .Hse has huge blinders on as to the hurt and damage she has caused many many people.She sees him as the answer to all her problems . I am lost without her and am very concerned for her well being .My sons are very hurt and confused by this mother who doesnt seem to care about anything but her new lover. I'm trying to lete go but I cant because I know this person is not my wife . Any thoughts or similar stories ?
2sure Posted December 2, 2008 Posted December 2, 2008 No, this is not your wife. And you miss her. And you can't fix her. The best thing you can do, and have to do at this point is protect your boys. Possibly from her. It is probable of course, that this new "relationship" will crash and she will spiral back. But that wont mean you have your wife and mother back. This must feel a little like a death. My heart is breaking for you, I'm sorry I have nothing else to offer.
SirLingam Posted December 2, 2008 Posted December 2, 2008 Rod, Time to get a lawyer and custody. Mental illness is not something you want to live with. Trust me I am in the midst of it right now. There is no fixing her and she has already replaced you. Now you are in damage control. You need to protect your boys and yourself. Depression can be a lifelong illness and it ravages all it touches. Do not think you can fix her. DO NOT SLEEP WITH HER EITHER! This is well beyond you or anyone but a professional and her. You didn't cause it and make sure you dont take responcibility for her condition. She probably wanted a nicer house so that you would be on the hook for it when she left you. Just because she is depressed doesn't mean she isn't manipulating you. She has been planning this for months. You need to protect your assests and start talking to the best lawyers around. Sir*Lingam
Gowithflow Posted December 2, 2008 Posted December 2, 2008 I feel your pain. She's now used to getting lots of attention from the other man. He is now the "knight in shining armor" who is always on her mind. Everything else is secondary. She will wake up, but it will be too late unless she stops it now. Find out who the OM is and call his ass. Tap the phone if you are able. The attraction to the OM has become a drug for her. Your powers are useless. It only gets weirder from here until the lies stop. Even then she's not going to the same ever and the air in the house will be THICK. Sex is the only way to break through to her. If she not willing then she needs to get out asap. You will sleep better with her gone.
Author rod24773 Posted December 2, 2008 Author Posted December 2, 2008 I have seen a lawyer and the separation agreement is being drawn up .I am trying to protect my kids . I have reached out to our Minister and our doctor and all who will listen to inform them of the true "Wife".I need people to be aware when she aatarts to crumble . She puts on such a normal face in public but undeath she is a mess. The other guy must only get to see the normal face .I havent figured out his side as he has left a wife and 3 sons in this mess. I have done all I can for her .I have to trust in God that things will fall into place.I dont expect her back but I cant give up on helping her after 18 very good years. Read my first thread ."Out of left Field" to see where this started. I was totally blindsided as was anyone and everyone who knew us.
Author rod24773 Posted December 2, 2008 Author Posted December 2, 2008 The wife of the Om knew first . My wife moved out yesterday.
Author rod24773 Posted December 3, 2008 Author Posted December 3, 2008 I called the wife the Om last night.I was hoping she was taking him to the cleaners .She makes more than him so he wont be paying much . My wife is in this little world where shes no one but him .She sees none of the pain she has caused and she is totally without emotion towards everything. Our doctor thinks she may be manic depressive. I find out the Om is the same ,Oh my GOD .What the h__ is going on .How can they both be out to lunch. My wife's personality took a 180' turn .She went from deeply caring about everyone to not caring about anyone or anything other than the OM .Not me not her family ,friends or our kids .He sounds the same .What is this ?????????
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