BlueHarvest Posted December 2, 2008 Posted December 2, 2008 I'm 24, she's 23. I work full time at a job that is pretty decent and in a field that I'm slightly interested in, and I live on my own. She works part-time and lives with her parents. Just got out of college less then a year ago. Worked for 6 months in an internship then moved back home. Doesn't like her job (retail). (Incidentaliy I'm in retail as well but a slightly different aspect of it...IT sort of.) Ok there's the background. I've been seeing her for a little over a month now. At this point I kind of expect someone who works part time (despite all her past-times and hobbies she has.) to return a call on the same day. I called her yesterday around 1 PM and have yet to hear back from her. Last time I talked to her was Friday on the phone. I just don't understand how someone who works part-time can't at least return a phone call on the same day. Just irks me and also worries me that maybe I did something wrong. On a different note, I feel like we enjoy each others company. She's complimented me and I her. We have connected mentally but emotionally I feel like we are still distant. I don't know how to explain it. We've kissed and hugged and made out, but nothing more then that. (Not that I was expecting more then that after only a month.) But at this point I figured things would become more serious. Should I attempt to talk to her about her feelings for me and subsequently see if she would like to be exclusive and escalate our feelings for each other. (Currently we see/talk to each other once per week and I guess that's fine.) But now after a month I feel like maybe things should be getting "heavier" so to speak. I.E. We should be progressively spending more time with each other. I really enjoy her company and to be perfectly honest, I could see myself with her in the far future if you get my drift. I know that may be wierd to say this early in a relationship (and trust me I haven't said anything to that effect) but that's the way I feel. The other night when hanging out with some friends, one of them referred to her as "my girlfriend" and the other friend said..."wait, is she your girlfriend?...are you guys exlusive?"...I sort of hestistated and was about to say something and she said "if you don't know right away then you aren't." And she had a valid point. Now I don't think this girl is seeing anyone else, but at the same time I feel like I make lots of time to see her but she doesn't really invest the same amount of time to see me. I'm just really perplexed. I've never been in a relationship that got this far. Sad for someone of my age isn't it?
BikerBeagle Posted December 2, 2008 Posted December 2, 2008 I guess you could ask her, but from what you've written here, I'd say she's not that into you. Don't make someone a priority who makes you an option.
Author BlueHarvest Posted December 2, 2008 Author Posted December 2, 2008 I've heard that quote before BikerBeagle. And it was probably originally spoken from someone who was never in a relationship. Because I can tell you first hand, that people you care about...doesn't matter if they are good friends or spouses. That you will make them a priority whether or not they view you as an option. As for "not being into me". I hardly doubt it. Don't know where you came up with that idea.
lovestruck818 Posted December 2, 2008 Posted December 2, 2008 The phone thing honestly isn't a big deal and doesn't mean she isn't into you. I despise the phone. I don't use it ever. Obviously at work...but I don't make calls, I only answer them and it's very brief if anything. Maybe she doesn't like the phone at all...maybe she's more of a texter or would rather see u in person. It sucks but if someone calls me, I don't and wont return their call...I'll pick up the phone if I hear it, but if I don't, don't expect me to initiate contact via the phone & return your call. She could be the same way as far as that is concerned. Some people are just not phone people. I think where you are for a month and for your age is about right. You don't want to become exclusive right away without getting to know her. That was my mistake with my last relationship. We jumped into it so fast that the more & more we were together the more unhappy I was and the more things I found out about him that I didn't like. Take it slow, don't rish...if it's meant to happen it will happen naturally. She also may feel you are more mature than her, like you have a "1 up" on her...almost like an intimidation factor. I get very intimidated by people my age who are more successful than I am.
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