How Slow is to Slow

[CMJ100]

Hi,

 

So I have ben seeing this guy know for about five months, he was the one that suggested we make things exclusive after 2 months of dating. Every thing seems to be going well he is alway attentive when we are togehter, i always enjoy our time together and visa versa, however I am concerned lately by how slow things seem to still be after 5 months (we only see each other 1 night during the week & 1 weekend night and maybe 2 texs during the week) and also by a couple of comments that he has said recenlty.

 

Which are:

 

1. About a month ago he made a comment at dinner which was "I dont date girls for very long" This concerned me so I questioned him he said that since his divorce (4 years ago, married for 15 years) that he has seen a number of girls but nothing ever eventuated into anything serious, but his actions speak loders than words and that should let me know what his intentions are with me.

 

2. I have been there and done that not sure if I want to again (we were talking about realtionships)

 

Now I must admit maybe I am at fault a little as I wanted to take things slow in the beginning after a bad break up myself and when we made things exclusive I said "lets just enjoy each others company and see where things take us no pressure or expectations"

 

Becasue of this i fear I have given him the feeling that he never has to get serious with me. Its like we can spend a wonderful day togehter with him telling me how much he likes me then the next time we see each other, he has backed off. I have also noted that he is not asking me all the time to do stuff which I know after 5 months it's give and take.

 

He has been honest and told me that with the past girls he has seen if he no longer wants to see them he will tell them annd not lead them on, So I think maybe am I over analising things!!

 

So my question, is this guy trying to tell me something? should I walk away?

 

Very confused

[Perry]

So my question, is this guy trying to tell me something? should I walk away?

 

 

Ask him that.

[CMJ100]

So I did I ask him should I walk away from this, and I also explained to him that I ahve been feeling like he gives me mixed signals about how he feels about me.

 

He firstly said no he wants to continue to see me, he was unware of the mixed signals he was giving. He then opened up about how yes he likes me alot and see's relationship possibilites in the future, but can not 100% right know, he also said that he is very guarded and is aware of this, is afraid that he can not give me what he wants to give me and what I want. I put it out there that maybe we should just walk way from this and be freinds maybe this is not meant to be, he said that he likes me and wants to give this ago.

 

We are meeting up tonight to talk, his suggestion as I was ready to walk away, I ahve always been under the assupmtion that realtionships especially at the early stages should be easy not complicated?

 

My heart says stay, my head says leave. I'm afraid that if we do decide to give this ago that in a year I will be int eh same sopt with him freaking out about his feelings for me

 

Isn't it true if a guy likes you they liek you no matter what their past is, they forget the pain they like you so just go with it!

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Isn't it true if a guy likes you they liek you no matter what their past is, they forget the pain they like you so just go with it!

 

Most guys do, even if they've been hurt in the past, they will overlook past hurts for the now. I don't think he will be as committed as you want him to be, he's too guarded for any sort of deeper emotional interaction. You could give him some time to work on it, but emotions are always a funny thing. Most people will date forever and never really fall in love, then there's the ones that fall too early, and still hurt even after the breakup.

 

If he's been out of a divorce, then commitment on his part is especially hard. He's been tied down and he won't likely give up being independent for a while.