samsungxoxo Posted December 2, 2008 Posted December 2, 2008 Ok it's been long say that me and my b/f have differenrt views when it comes to settling down and having kids. Obviously he does want to marry me and have kids while I do believe in marriage, I'm not interest in kids whatsoever, don't really like them in fact. However I love him sooo much, this is my plan when the time comes and he talks about it again. I will either pospone it with the promise of later on have them or just basically do it for him only.
Ocean-Blue Posted December 2, 2008 Posted December 2, 2008 Do you really think "doing it for him" is a good idea? From what I hear, kids can be a handful...not exactly something you want to do with such a heavy heart... Maybe you could talk to him about being open to the idea...MAYBE.
Author samsungxoxo Posted December 2, 2008 Author Posted December 2, 2008 Do you really think "doing it for him" is a good idea? From what I hear, kids can be a handful...not exactly something you want to do with such a heavy heart... Maybe you could talk to him about being open to the idea...MAYBE. I know it won't be easy and I'm not into kids, but at the same time if I keep up with this to him, I know I'll lose him and I love him a lot, that I'll sacrifice this for him. We did talked about it long ago and he stated how he can deal with anything about me, except denying him kis, he does want to form a family in the future. So no I don't want to lose, I know a ''NO'' would mean he breaking up with me and finding another girl that wants kids.
Ocean-Blue Posted December 2, 2008 Posted December 2, 2008 This is a difficult situation. I feel for you, and for him. I don't know that I could be with someone that was sure they didn't want children. Still, I'd stick around, if I really loved him, in the hopes that he'd eventually change his mind. I guess you have to balance your wants with his wants and decide if the sacrifice is worth it. You don't want either to be resentful about this, years down the line.
Author samsungxoxo Posted December 2, 2008 Author Posted December 2, 2008 Yea, that's a tough one. Wonder how can you convice a guy not to want kids???
mental_traveller Posted December 2, 2008 Posted December 2, 2008 Yea, that's a tough one. Wonder how can you convice a guy not to want kids??? You can't. If he wants them, and you don't, then you are incompatible - at least for now. How old are you? If you are <30, then there's a good chance you will change your mind once you hit your 30s and your biological clock starts ticking. If you are 30+ then it's likely you and your bf are just not suited to each other. Having different views on kids is pretty much a dealbreaker.
Author samsungxoxo Posted December 2, 2008 Author Posted December 2, 2008 How old are you? If you are <30, then there's a good chance you will change your mind once you hit your 30s and your biological clock starts ticking. If you are 30+ then it's likely you and your bf are just not suited to each other. Having different views on kids is pretty much a dealbreaker. Right now I'm 21 years old.
whichwayisup Posted December 2, 2008 Posted December 2, 2008 You can't marry someone that wants kids if you have no interest in being a mom. And, he shouldn't marry you in hopes one day you'll change your mind.
amaysngrace Posted December 2, 2008 Posted December 2, 2008 You can't marry someone that wants kids if you have no interest in being a mom. And, he shouldn't marry you in hopes one day you'll change your mind. Exactly. I'd like to add that as somebody's kid I am really glad my mom wanted me.
whichwayisup Posted December 2, 2008 Posted December 2, 2008 Ailec, don't take this the wrong way, but another reason why you shouldn't have kids is your anger and temper issues. All that has to be resolved because if you have kids to please him, you'll end up taking it out on your children. The pattern of abuse doesn't go away unless you do something to change it and from your previous posts, how you were with your young brother - The fighting between you and your parent - How you get angry at little things in life, explode, well, right now it may not be a good idea to even consider marriage until you sort yourself out, do therapy.
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