Anastasia0309 Posted December 2, 2008 Posted December 2, 2008 So, what would you do if your ex asked about one of your friends? Keep in mind this friend and your ex had very obvious attraction to eachother when you all were dating? Would it bother you if you were already over it and in love with someone else?
vintagecat Posted December 2, 2008 Posted December 2, 2008 Unless the two of you still share a great deal about your personal affairs with each other after the breakup (like girlfriends) then I think it's in poor taste to ask you. It's up to you how to feel about it. I might be annoyed more than anything in your situation at the inquiry even if I didn't care what he did.
whichwayisup Posted December 2, 2008 Posted December 2, 2008 Keep in mind this friend and your ex had very obvious attraction to eachother when you all were dating? Would it bother you if you were already over it and in love with someone else? If you're over your ex and moved on, then whatever is going to happen between them will happen, especially if they had their eyes on eachother while you were dating him. I say tell them to go for it! Why be grudge them happiness if you've truly moved on? BUT, if it bothers you, then ask yourself if it's ego related or heart related.
Author Anastasia0309 Posted December 2, 2008 Author Posted December 2, 2008 I totally agree with you! If I'm someone is inlove with someone else then it shouldn't matter who my ex wants to talk to.... And if it's enough to piss you off then maybe just maybe there are still feeling there.
vintagecat Posted December 2, 2008 Posted December 2, 2008 "And if it's enough to piss you off then maybe just maybe there are still feeling there." Not necessarily. The question is why an ex would be talking to YOU about a friend they were probably attracted to when they weren't an ex. They are presumably adult and can manage their affairs without involving you in their love life so why ask you? What's at the bottom of that? That would be the part that would annoy me. If my ex-husband (who I've long moved past being very happily remarried and I initiated the divorce in the first place because we were badly mismatched) called me out of the blue to ask about a friend under the circumstances that you described I'd wonder what was wrong with his brain and I'd be annoyed. I'd wonder if it was an immature ploy to make me jealous (as if) or to rekindle the relationship. Not begrudging anyone. I'd want my ex to be happy but I'd just ask that they not involve me in his affairs. If anyone might do the asking it would be the friend, to make sure you are okay with it before going ahead, not the ex. Now I wonder why you are asking seeing that you seem to know the answer already??
Author Anastasia0309 Posted December 2, 2008 Author Posted December 2, 2008 I'm asking to get different points of views. The question is " Would it bother you?" Depending on if it bothers you or not how would you react to it?" I'm over my ex and in love with someone else and it wouldn't bother me. It wasn't like my ex called me out of the blue and asked about the friend. Not at all. It was more like we have been talking from time to time and one time the friend who he was attracted to was over my place and he said "O, tell her I said hi. How is she doing? You should let me talk to her type thing." I didn't know how to react so I told her he said hi and then told him if he wanted to get talk to her he needed to give her his number on his own. Cause I didn't want any part of that. Now, that I got others points of views, I'm thinking if I'm in love with someone else and I am then I shouldn't let it bother me but in all honesty it did piss me off at first.
vintagecat Posted December 2, 2008 Posted December 2, 2008 Pretty much what I was talking about. You don't want to get involved in his love life and got annoyed by his hints to help hook him up. A perfectly natural reaction even if you want him to be happy and even if you don't care if he dates the friend on another level. He imposed on you, pure and simple, even though the imposition was slight.
huggies Posted December 5, 2008 Posted December 5, 2008 Hmm.. not that it would annoy me, but what the heck, my ex should work hard for the info.
gennamoon Posted December 5, 2008 Posted December 5, 2008 Yes, it would bother me, but my ex just cut off everything between us six weeks ago. We had been together the week before that and then out of the blue he said we couldn't keep doing what we were doing...we had broken up in July, but then continued to casually see each other. Anyhoo, I just found out last Friday that he is now seeing my best friend. I had a suspician just about two weeks ago that there might be something going on that I didn't know about; however, I thought he might be pursuing someone that none of us knew about it. When I asked her if she had heard anything (we hang in the same circle of friends) she told me she knew of nothing. She knew how hard this breakup was on me...I cried to her about it and this is what I get. We had been best friends for ten years...she saw both of my children be born. I know you can't help who you fall for; however, with this being fresh for me with open wounds still to me it was a low blow. My ex had a thing for her over a year ago, but she blew him off because she didn't want to date him, but apparently after I dated him NOW he's attractive to her. Anyway, there perfect for each other and I'm much happier not having either of them in my life. Had I moved on already and started seeing someone else, then this might not be as big of an issue. Sure, it would have been weird, but not as bad as it is now. The fact that she tried to cover it up just makes it worse...it makes me wonder if they were talking while him and I were still sort of together?
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