Amgila41 Posted December 1, 2008 Posted December 1, 2008 HI Guys! I had been so good following the NC rule until this past Wednesday (day before thanksgiving) when my ex decided to call and wish me and family a happy thanksgiving weekend. I had been in NC for the last month. In this particular case, he left me a vm asking me to phone him back when I had the chance, I did (Strick 1), because I didn't want to be rude, and since then, he hasn't returned my call. He proceeded to text me on thanksgiving day, wishing me a happy turkey day and I responded with, thanks, you too. (Strick 2). How does one handle such calls and text over the holiday season?? I feel that is mean to ignore them, as they only trying to be nice, rt. So what should i do, try my best to ignore, we didn't break up on bad terms and I don't want to seem petty and mean.
Sysyphus28 Posted December 1, 2008 Posted December 1, 2008 HI Guys! I had been so good following the NC rule until this past Wednesday (day before thanksgiving) when my ex decided to call and wish me and family a happy thanksgiving weekend. I had been in NC for the last month. In this particular case, he left me a vm asking me to phone him back when I had the chance, I did (Strick 1), because I didn't want to be rude, and since then, he hasn't returned my call. He proceeded to text me on thanksgiving day, wishing me a happy turkey day and I responded with, thanks, you too. (Strick 2). How does one handle such calls and text over the holiday season?? I feel that is mean to ignore them, as they only trying to be nice, rt. So what should i do, try my best to ignore, we didn't break up on bad terms and I don't want to seem petty and mean. Be friendly and mature. It is a time for forgiveness, healing, and warmth.... not cold NC rules and games. Be kind and you will feel better than if you ignore this person who meant so much to you. Don't be crazy or needy, just simple and kind.
Author Amgila41 Posted December 1, 2008 Author Posted December 1, 2008 Thanks Sysyphus28. I guess I will treat him as I would want to be treated. Him contacting me just brought me a few steps back and a part of me became hopefull. (Just shows how much I still like him). I guess is true what they say, you don't know how much you miss somebody until you hear from them again. I'll try my best to be strong!
Ronni_W Posted December 1, 2008 Posted December 1, 2008 How does one handle such calls and text over the holiday season?? I feel that is mean to ignore them, as they only trying to be nice, rt. I think it depends on whether or not the contact with them will set us back in our own healing and recovery. If not, then of course respond cordially. But if yes, then it is being mean to the Self, to respond to them. For my money, being nice to Self is much more important than acting in ways intended to prove our "good manners" or whatever else. Plus, if we're not genuinely feeling the sentiment expressed, it's just fake-nice, anyway.
EmperorR Posted December 1, 2008 Posted December 1, 2008 I wouldn't reply, why set yourself back to be nice. They made you feel like crap, heal yourself.
darnay Posted December 2, 2008 Posted December 2, 2008 Be friendly and mature. Were they friendly and mature when they dumped you? It is a time for forgiveness, healing, and warmth.... Like Hell it is! cold NC rules and games. NC isn't a game
Author Amgila41 Posted December 3, 2008 Author Posted December 3, 2008 just so you guys know - I broke up with him, not the other way around. Yes, returning his call has brought me 100 steps back. Yes I miss him like crazy, but at the end of day - i feel like i did the right thing. As much as i am hurting inside, comtemplating whether or not I made the right decison, I today am staring at my cell phone, hoping it is him . As pathetic as it may sound - i will continue to think, i did the right thing. Thanks to those who have replied. I know many of you have had hard breakups and are trying to help - trust me, i appreciate it and thank you.
Ronni_W Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 - i will continue to think, i did the right thing. Honestly, if YOU think you did the right thing, then you DID the right thing! It is your truth and no one has the insight or authority to argue you on your own truth .
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