Star Gazer Posted December 2, 2008 Posted December 2, 2008 That's because you don't know me. Get to know me, and you'll like me...believe you me. I've learned a lot about your behavior from your multiple threads here on LS, and I assure you that if we met in person, I would NOT add you to my FB or MS.
Author Bells Posted December 2, 2008 Author Posted December 2, 2008 I've learned a lot about your behavior from your multiple threads here on LS, and I assure you that if we met in person, I would NOT add you to my FB or MS. I have friends who can vouche for my character, and you cannot go by my forum posts alone. ;-) Actually, I have recent "Feel Good" story saved up.
Author Bells Posted December 2, 2008 Author Posted December 2, 2008 That's the sad truth, but part of being successful in dating is accepting that not everyone is going to like you and some will totally despise you.Right...not EVERYONE can like ya, right? It actually takes about a full year to get to know me. ;-) I guess we all have enemies.
PrincessPeach Posted December 2, 2008 Posted December 2, 2008 That's because you don't know me. Get to know me, and you'll like me...believe you me. If that were true... you probably wouldn't respond that way
Ocean-Blue Posted December 2, 2008 Posted December 2, 2008 Bells, almost all your threads are about how some woman blew you off. Do you see a pattern? You are overly analytical, nosey and dare I say, CREEPY. Back off a bit. Relax. No one likes a heavy breather.
Vertex Posted December 2, 2008 Posted December 2, 2008 I unfortunately have to echo what others have said here. I think you're coming on way too strong. You two first had contact on the dating site, and she did not reply to your email. That's a pretty strong sign in itself, really. Then, you assume that because you two share a few of the same friends, that this property is somehow inherently associative... that just isn't true. She doesn't know you, and, really, you don't know her either. I mean, what do you expect? If someone you rejected on a dating site suddenly contacts you out of the blue, saying "Hey, remember me? From the dating site? Is it alright if I friend you? We met at that party... yeah we're both friends with so and so...", their reaction is obviously going to be against you... not for you. And asking if they are single, on top of all that? Wayyy too much! What you did was, in my opinion, overly forward. It comes across as way too strong, and that's obviously going to creep/freak a woman out. I mean, not to mention the fact that it's about a dating site as well. A lot of people, as DJam stated, don't want that sort of thing to be so widely-known. Her statement of "keeping her personal life personal" should have been your first cue (if the initial online rejection wasn't enough of a reinforcing cue). Likewise with her short response of "Stuff," aka "I don't want to involve you." From your posts in this thread, it seems like you are quite relaxed/open with people, but perhaps to a fault. People have personal information, and it seems like you don't necessarily respect their right to privacy, and instead come across as overly forward and demanding of that information. Whether it's asking very personal questions to someone you barely know, or making reference to some story/event in the past that may be seen as embarrassing, it just seems like you overlook the fact that not everyone is as "chill" as you may be when it comes to divulging and exchanging personal information. I'm not going to say you're inherently "creepy" or of bad character or whatever, as I do think your intentions are fine/normal, but your approach just needs a bit of work. Like Kashmir said, if you come across with the wrong impressions, people interpret those signals and derive their own opinions as to what your character/intentions/motives/priorities are. I mean, the basic rule of communication is that you send a signal with some intended message, and then someone else "decodes" this message upon receiving it. You need to make sure that the message you intend to send is the message that others receive. Nobody's going to see your strong qualities if you're projecting forth an image of having creepy qualities instead. If someone's giving you a signal to back off (as opposed to playing "hard to get"), pursuing them harder is going to make things worse.
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