travelgirl Posted December 6, 2008 Posted December 6, 2008 Since I moved in with MM, I have been expecting us to run into the BW somewhere - this is a very small village. She doesn't know what I look like, but she'd obviously recognise MM and the kids. Yet we haven't. She's obviously been avoiding that and lying low, which has done us all a favour. I think a scene in public would be terrible for the kids I don't know your whole story but I don't understand why his wife should lay low - all in your favor? Didn't HE cheat on her with you? I would think out of any respect YOU should be laying low - not her.
OWoman Posted December 6, 2008 Posted December 6, 2008 I don't know your whole story but I don't understand why his wife should lay low - all in your favor? Didn't HE cheat on her with you? I would think out of any respect YOU should be laying low - not her. I guess she lays low because she feels the censure of friends, family and colleagues, who developed intense disllike for her over the years because of how she treated MM and the kids. They all knew of, and supported, our R, being genuinely happy that MM had found someone who loved and respected him, and who could offer the kids a "normal" home life. She also has quite a reputation in the village - she's forever finding fault with everyone and no one is prepared to take on jobs in her house because of the way she treats people. No doubt it also upsets her that her kids choose to be with me - even when MM is not around - rather than with her, and the prospect of running into us having a good time somewhere probably doesn't appeal to her. As for me laying low
mopar crazy Posted December 7, 2008 Posted December 7, 2008 I can't imagine running into the OW 12 weeks after Dday. I'm sorry you had to deal w/ that. I honestly don't know what I would have said or did. I'm not one to make a scene so it would probably be me just giving her the evil eye until she was out of my sight. I did not run into the OW until a year after their A. When he left me for the OW I moved back to my hometown a month later. In that month b4 moving I did not run into her and we live in a small town also. A few months later he wanted to R the M so we gave it another try but continued to stay separated 100 miles apart. We were separated for 6 months. She got him fired and a month later he moved back in w/ me. Less than a year later (but a year after their A0 we went back to the town where the OW lived for H's HS reunion. We met at the bar the first night. I was sitting next to one of our friends (her H was H's Best Man in our wedding) and ppl would walk past me to get to the dance floor. My back was turned to ppl walking past. I looked over at H where he was sitting across the long table and he mouthed "She is here." I did NOT want to see this woman. H said he walked past me a few times. I don't know how she could have missed me. I seen another friend of mine so I stood up to talk to her. As we were were talking the xOW walked past us. I told my friend that was the woman my H had an A w/ (her H also had an A a couple years prior and they also R so she knew what I was feeling in away). The xOW sat her drink down and turned around and walked passed us again. She looked at my friend and said hello to her. My friend just gave her a dirty look. I really wanted to see that bitch unhappy but she wasn't. That is the type of person she is. Very outgoing, moves from one R to anther, and doesn't care who she hurts as long as it's not her. She was there w/ the guy she was dating when H broke it off. I happened to see a very good male friend of mine w/ them and she was hanging all over him, right in front of her BF.
fingersniffer Posted December 7, 2008 Posted December 7, 2008 I really wanted to see that bitch unhappy but she wasn't. That is the type of person she is. Very outgoing, moves from one R to anther, and doesn't care who she hurts as long as it's not her. Thats the same as my wifes "special friend". Can we rename this thread Running OVER the OtherPerson? (no smiley faces)
Unbelievable06 Posted December 16, 2008 Posted December 16, 2008 I am from a very small town. We've had two Ddays now. The day the EA came completely out and ended, and then 4 months later when my fears of the PA were confirmed. I've ran into the OW a handful of times now. Sometimes I do better than others. I always end up shaking, and it tends to feel like it did 4 months ago, when Dday 2 occurred. In a town of 5000 people, I feel like I can't leave the house comfortably. I feel like my home is contaminated, and so is my town. But I agree that a scene is not the answer. I do struggle with whether or not to tell her that I know everything... They hadn't spoken in 4 months when my fears were confirmed.
IfWishesWereHorses Posted December 16, 2008 Posted December 16, 2008 But I agree that a scene is not the answer. I was raised that you NEVER show any negative emotion in public, for any reason. THAT was hard to get over. BUT.... I think it's important that they have a healthy respect for the fact that you could go postal at any time. It took me tons of work and a boat load of Gin and tonics to get there, but I believe now, EVERYONE knows better than to cross me in public. To me it was kind of like being the kid everone picked on... eventually you have to sock the bully in the face to make him understand, even if it's against your beliefs. Decorum was not my friend and used against me until I set it to the side for certain circumstances.
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