DollWelch Posted December 1, 2008 Posted December 1, 2008 This may seem odd and completely bizarre altogether, at least I think it is, but I have to ask this question -because I'm at a loss. Question: IF a man does not want to ever have children, then WHY make it be knownst to his female friend that he would have a child with her? I thought men that don't want children, have a rule about it: NO children, NO exceptions, NO reproduction with ANY woman. I'm having a hard time understanding what this man is thinking, because I'm his close female friend, and I'm not sure if he just said that to make me feel better -or because he has feelings for me. It's ALL a contradiction. I have no clue. Actually, I think he might be insane.
BentSpine Posted December 1, 2008 Posted December 1, 2008 He might see himself as a possible sperm donor, if everyone involved if fully aware and accepting that he doesn't want the responsibility for bringing up the child himself. Or he's trying to plant a hope in you that you could possibly change him and be compatible in the future. Or he's just joking.
Gremio Posted December 1, 2008 Posted December 1, 2008 Or he's trying to plant a hope in you that you could possibly change him and be compatible in the future. Or he's just joking. I agree. He may very well be saying that as to appear stubborn, or a strong male who can make his own decisions, but deep down inside he wants someone to change him.
Gold Pile Posted December 1, 2008 Posted December 1, 2008 I often voice my "no child rule" but if I see a possibility of sleeping with a woman and I think this rule might make her cool to my advances.... I will tell her it may not apply in her case. Maybe he just wants you in bed. Perhaps he is really into you, just thought I'd put the other possibilty out there.
D-Jam Posted December 1, 2008 Posted December 1, 2008 I think it's more fear talking that makes him say "NO CHILDREN"...when he would love to be a father. I think he's scared of marrying someone, having a family, and then she plays out the "evil bitch" who divorces him for no reason, rapes him in divorce court, and works hard to not only keep him from his children, but raise them to hate their father....while his alimony and child support go to pay the bills for the ex and her new boyfriend. I know this is NOT women in general, but I more displayed the stereotypical thing men fear in all this. It is an exaggeration though that probably is very rare to exist in reality. I think when a man says "no children", most of the time it's fear talking. Fear of the "evil bitch" that they may see once on TV and believe all women aspire to be. Fear even of loss of freedom, or toning down their dreams in life, etc. I know my uncertainty on having a family does stem both from my history of bad luck and drama with women, as well as the idea of a childless life of travel and career. I wouldn't say "no children", but I won't make the decision lightly or on a whim. For the OP...I think he trusts the female friend enough to have a child with her.
Author DollWelch Posted December 2, 2008 Author Posted December 2, 2008 This is all VERY interesting. He might see himself as a possible sperm donor, if everyone involved if fully aware and accepting that he doesn't want the responsibility for bringing up the child himself. I don't think he is the type of man to donate sperm. At least, I know he isn't. So, that idea is out the window. Besides, if I were to ever have a child, I'm not going to make some kind of "Deal" with a sperm donor -and end up raising one without a father. Never going to happen. Or he's trying to plant a hope in you that you could possibly change him and be compatible in the future. This might have some truth to it. Although, he is NOT looking for a woman to change him -I mean, that's how I think it is. Or he's just joking. This could, also, be true. But, it was a serious talk -and not only that, he brought up the subject twice since that time. I think it's more fear talking that makes him say "NO CHILDREN"...when he would love to be a father. [. . .] For the OP...I think he trusts the female friend enough to have a child with her. Does he really trust me, in that way? I wouldn't have guessed. I do see the topic of children, as something very trust encompassed, but it doesn't belong between friends; only between girlfriend and boyfriend -or husband and wife. That's why I'm confused as to why he'd bring up this issue with me, his friend, and not a girlfriend. IF he's seriously scared of the woman drama that follows with child rearing, then why not get himself sterilized altogether, instead of telling me about reproducing?
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