jlr5175 Posted December 1, 2008 Posted December 1, 2008 It's my junior year in High School and I've dated 2 girls in my entire life. Two girls that I had partial feelings for but did all I could to make the relationships last. They didnt last long at all. I've been given the "I just want to be friends" reply too many times than I can count and Im wanting to know if there is anything more I can do. Here is the recent situation going on. Brittany, a Senior girl who sits by me at lunch, is a beautiful girl who has her life under control and is very smart,creative,funny,and just overall great has been talking to me for the past few weeks. We started talking mainly just joking at the lunch table and I talked to her first just so you'll know. We talked for a few days before she finally gave me her phone number and I texted her that evening asking her "What color tuxedo do you want me to wear when I take you to prom this year?" She said, " Uh I dont know." I didnt know she had a boyfriend and she didnt inform me that she did until later in the evening. Ok, few more days have passed and I'm in a club called FCCLA(Family Career and Community Leaders of America) where I got a free teddy bear for selling magazines. I ended up giving it to her because she thought I wouldnt take it to lost and found and tell them it's hers. Later that evening she texts me and tells me her boyfriend is pissed and I told her I dont care I thought it was sweet and funny. She texts me that same night and is frustrated because her boyfriend is breaking plans with her to go hang out with some other girl that he insists is only just a friend. She keeps asking me what to do. I told her first that I am not going to be her relationship counselor for her and her boyfriend and she agrees and second I gave her my advice which was to think about it and make a decision whether she wants to stay with him or not. (She already knows I like her but she's iffy about me because I havent cared to get my license yet[have my permit and Dec.5th I will have my license which I have told her] and I dont have a job because I see no urgency to have one[have one now helping grandad out on the farm which she acted like it wasnt a real job or something and kind of made me mad].) Anyways, fast forward a bit here to her birthday. She's turning 18 and told me she didnt really want anything so I got her 2 cards,some directions on a little piece of paper,and an Amaryllis flower.(Not planted but in the box with dirt and plant) The Directons: 1)Plant this flower when you want us to begin. 2) This flower can turn into something beautiful depending on how hard you want it to grow like our relationship. (Cheesy Directions: I know ) Anyways, I gave her one card at lunch and asked her when she wanted the rest. She said," I dont know." I said, " Alright , I'm going to surprise you then." So later me and my dad head over to her work and my dad sits in the car while I text her phone and tell her to "Come to the front door because I'm here." She replies, " Really?". I said "Yeah." She comes to the door with her hair all pulled up ( for her job of course and it didnt look bad) and this hugeeeeee grin on her face that made me want to melt because I could see how happy I had made her. I handed her gift to her and said Happy Birthday Brittany. And she said Thank You and she said something like "Do you want anything?" and I ended up saying a hug and got a hug( gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Im so stupiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiid I could have asked her out right there. Once in a lifetime moment and I choked!!!!!!!!!!! Ahhhhhhh! I hate myself for it even now). After her birthday though she stopped talking to me hardly at all, she starts giving me replies like ok,yes,no,maybe,idk,etc.etc.etc. and I cant figure out what is wrong. She insists nothing is wrong and I somehow "make her mad" or " annoy her" because Im worried that something is wrong. Then last week I texted her Friday afternoon at 3:53 PM and said " Hey." and I resent the message every other hour and then finally I sent a message to her at 6:56 and she replies back saying "Call me NOW!" and I call her and some guy answers and says "Who is this?" I say, " Jordan, Who is this?" Then he goes off and says,"Stop ****ing texting me you're pissing me off." I said "Ok?" He hangs up. I texted after and said " Got something stuck in your butt?" He goes "Nah man just stop texting me you're pissing me off and my girlfriend brittany but she's too sweet of a person to tell you." .................. ................ ................... needless to say I was crushed for about an hour or two before I get a text from Brittany saying , " He isn't my BF, sorry." I was still crushed and still am crushed. I texted her and said " Im not bothered by the guy claiming to be your boyfriend but do I really annoy you that bad?" She replies saying " Sometimes but other times you're alright" . We talked briefly and I guess I adgitated her because her last text read " Good night!" ( I do realize texting is unable to show emotion or tone of voice but I interpreted the best I could.) Continuing on, she barely even sits at the lunch table now. Her signature says "He'sAllMine" now and when I talked to her recently again she said that she just wants to "date around" for now and that she doesnt really " see me like that and just wants to be friends". Crushed again......She goes on to tell me to not stop talking to her or sitting at the lunch table because of this and that we can be friends. She told me to stop doing the nice things for her ( buy her sweet tea at lunch,the teddy bear thing[one time thing],etc. and to calm down about all that. I told her " That'll be tough....." That's my story. I havent talked to her the past 2 days and tommorrow at lunch will probably be the next time I do talk to her. Do you think there is anyway I have of getting a chance to be with her? I know I blew my big moment on the night of her birthday and I feel HORRIBLE about it. Do you think I got a shot?
ThisGuy85 Posted December 1, 2008 Posted December 1, 2008 WOW!! You tell stories Just like my brother does, Without skipping a single detail. Anyway to answer your question, No.... you don't! I do however find it pretty amazing, That after she went out of her way to mess with you, Even told you that she didn't like you like that, You are STILL wondering if you have a chance with her! For your sake, Just move on!
Author jlr5175 Posted December 1, 2008 Author Posted December 1, 2008 I always do the best I can to try and woo the woman I pursue. As stated, I get the "I just want to be friends." answer alot. I dont like to give up on a woman. I've always believed if work hard enough you can do anything... just wishful thinking I guess.
Author jlr5175 Posted December 1, 2008 Author Posted December 1, 2008 I forgot to post the part about the thursday before the Friday evening where the guy spoke to me. She came to a basketball game and she knew I was there and got on some other guy's shoulders that I doubt she likes. (No offense to him but he doesnt look up too it.) Well, the next day at lunch( still before I spoke to the guy in the evening) she asked me if I saw her on her friend Cory's shoulders at the basketball game and said " She couldn't believe they made her get down." I told her, " They probably made you get down as a safety measure or maybe you were distracting some people." Was she trying to make me jealous? Was she testing how I would react and how much I'd react? or was she just talking to me as a person? -New and Unnexperienced in this whole dating thing.....
Author jlr5175 Posted December 2, 2008 Author Posted December 2, 2008 May I get more responses? It took me awhile to type that up.
windows Posted December 2, 2008 Posted December 2, 2008 she explicitly said she doesn't see you like that. so... you really have to just drop it. thats the worst part of it all; you throw in so much only to find out there's already someone else. it's the type of girl this brittany is. I hate to enter profiling but its true; you blew it. I hate to say it but you did blow it. She likes teasing around; dating around and just chances are you're going to be beating yourself up about this; replaying the moment in your head and trying to convince yourself of some way to turn things around. but... she did say she just doesn't see you that way. You have to move on. If you were to reject someone; would you like them to cling on to you? You chased the girl but the girl didn't care; its time to move on. High School is only a fraction of your life; there's more time for girls later on.
Author jlr5175 Posted December 2, 2008 Author Posted December 2, 2008 she explicitly said she doesn't see you like that. so... you really have to just drop it. thats the worst part of it all; you throw in so much only to find out there's already someone else. it's the type of girl this brittany is. I hate to enter profiling but its true; you blew it. I hate to say it but you did blow it. She likes teasing around; dating around and just chances are you're going to be beating yourself up about this; replaying the moment in your head and trying to convince yourself of some way to turn things around. but... she did say she just doesn't see you that way. You have to move on. If you were to reject someone; would you like them to cling on to you? You chased the girl but the girl didn't care; its time to move on. High School is only a fraction of your life; there's more time for girls later on. Thanks for the response. With over 100 views and only 2 responses I was kind of worried I'd broken some kind of conduct agreement or something. I hate giving up though. I will learn to accept the rejection soon hopefully.
zenith Posted December 2, 2008 Posted December 2, 2008 I randomly came across this forum and saw this thread. and yes, it made me join this forum... jlr5175, what were you thinking? just forget about her, ignore her! stop wasting your time thinking about this girl, spend more time for yourself!
Author jlr5175 Posted December 2, 2008 Author Posted December 2, 2008 You seem pretty confident with your answer. I think I will move on...
xpaperxcutx Posted December 2, 2008 Posted December 2, 2008 Can I give you some advice? I've had my fair share of crushes from guys I really have no connection with, and the only thing I've ever said to them was " let's just be friends." It may sound harsh being the person on the end of that sentence, but most girls, if they respect you enough, will be honest with you about how they really feel. This girl Brittany is treating you the way she is because she feels really awkward around you. She made it clear that she only wants to be friends with you, but she knows you're not willing to give up that easily. Your presence around her is enough to make her hate you. You have to stay away from her now, because she really doesn't want to be around you. So she'll play games with you all for the sake of playing around. The only thing you should do is avoid her. It doesn't matter if you guys see each other in class or lunch, but just stay away. Not for her sakes, but for yours.
fivefive Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 DUDE, first of all you need TO STOP BEING SO NEEDY! From reading your post, it seems like you are constantly talking to her. Texting her every second, talking to her everyday at lunch, and calling her and stuff. Dude you need to STOP! Quit being so available. Start looking at other women. Believe me, ignore her for a WHILE. It will start to get to her. Stop texting her! Stop calling her, for just random talk! And stop acting SO CLINGY! I can just imagine how annoyed this girl is. Cut off all communication for a while. I know it's hard but believe this works. You ignore her and she will start to wonder, "Why is he ignoring me all of a sudden?" It will start to annoy her and she will end up CHASING YOU. That's why she starts texting you back with short responses like, "yea, hey, nothing, etc". She's trying to tell you that you're being annoying and being too needy. STOP IT RITE NOW!! START LOOKING AT OTHER WOMEN! U actually went to her work place? C'mon now. Yea she might have thought it to be sweet but have you ever thought hat maybe she was alos thinking, "wow this guy is desperate". STOP BEING SO NEEDY!!!
Author jlr5175 Posted December 4, 2008 Author Posted December 4, 2008 I dont talk to her anymore. I'm gonna ignore her and see what happens. Sorry if I seem to clingy. I texted her every other hour usually. Mainly because my phone craps out sometimes and doesnt actually send the texts. Thanks for the responses guys. Really helps and makes me feel better to see what others think.
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