ctjohnson32 Posted December 1, 2008 Posted December 1, 2008 my girlfriend goes to texas A&M. we have been dating for a year and a half and are really serious. we started dating when she was a senior in high school and she is now a freshman in college.. the situation is.. that i live in tyler tx which is about three hours from where she is.. i want to be closer to her.. so i offered to move down to where she is.. but she doesnt want me to move down there so she can enjoy her "college life and have fun." i feel rejected and hurt... and dont most girls die for a guy to do what they want them to do.. dont most girls move to where their boyfriends are??? i feel like im being a super sweet guy by moving to where she is.. She wants to figure out who she is and what she is doing in college and also wants to go out and have fun...She feels like if I really care about her the way I say I do I will respect and support what she wants...She wants me to understand how much she really does care about me but at the same time realize that she is young and wants to take advantage of her beginning college years by really experiencing college and not missing out on things...She feels like being serious and settling down can wait until she is a little bit older and ready and that i should respect that... what should i do????????????
Gremio Posted December 1, 2008 Posted December 1, 2008 If she wants "experience college" the way you put it, she wants to be single. Enough said.
jlr5175 Posted December 1, 2008 Posted December 1, 2008 It sounds like she's wanting to break up with you. Not to be mean or anything but that's what it sounds like. She may be rationalizing these thoughts by saying to herself " I'm saving him money by telling him not to waste his time moving down here because Im losing feelings for him/I have lost feelings for him."
ThisGuy85 Posted December 1, 2008 Posted December 1, 2008 she is now a freshman in college. she doesnt want me to move down there so she can enjoy her "college life and have fun." She wants to figure out who she is and what she is doing in college and also wants to go out and have fun...She feels like if I really care about her the way I say I do I will respect and support what she wants...She wants me to understand how much she really does care about me but at the same time realize that she is young and wants to take advantage of her beginning college years by really experiencing college and not missing out on things...She feels like being serious and settling down can wait until she is a little bit older After reading that, The first thought that came to my mind was Girls Gone Wild! Look I don't know if this helps any, But you have to learn to read between the lines. Sometimes women can be too nice. She's trying to spare your feelings by not coming out and saying what she really means. I'll try to loosely translate what she told you into guy language: "I'm a Freshman in college now. I don't want you to move here, Because you'll cramp my style. I want to party my ass off. I would also like to Experiment with new things and new people. It's not that I don't like you, I just don't want a boyfriend right now. I'm now going to lead you on and give you false hope by telling you that I still want to settle down and be serious with you, Just not right now." Sorry if that sounded harsh, But I've actually been in your same situation. My advice is to move on and do some "partying" of your own! Remember: "If it's meant to be, It will be. But if not, There are plenty of fish in the sea"
LD123 Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 I think this is completely understandable on both ends. I understand how it makes you feel rejected, but I also understand where she is coming from. It sounds like she loves you, but just doesn't want to miss out on experiencing college. She's young and at a big university...Of course she is going to want to go out and have fun. Something might be holding her back from wanting to be really serious? Have yall had any problems? Like with exes or have yall broken up before? I know I felt the same way as her because a guy I was with didn't want to be with me at one point in our relationship and when he tried to get back with me and be with me "forever" I didnt know what to believe. She should definitely consider your feelings though; if she's not ready for a big step and you are you have two choices: Let her go, if you want someone else or work with her and compromise. I guess it all depends on how much you want to be with her.
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