Gold Pile Posted December 1, 2008 Posted December 1, 2008 Outside the supermarket I see a woman sitting on the curb and crying. She is attractive enough and at aprox 35 she is in my age range(18-80). Looked like prime picking for my dating life. I started to swagger on over, a squirrel slowly scampered ahead of me. Soon a gravely voice bellows "this don't concern you!". I'm totally mesmerized by the pair of eyes and shaved dome peering at me over top of a parked van. The 6 foot 5" behemoth walked around the van and glared at me "this don't concern you!" The squirrel who had been scampering away from me was now cowering next to me. I was pretty scared myself. It was 50 degrees out and this guy was only wearing a sleeveless t-shirt and long shorts. He had an armload of tattoos ...enough ink to kill most men. On his shirt was written "wordsmith" it seemed such a mismatch to the 300 pound wearer that I burst out laughing. He seemed stunned and bellowed " get da fu... away!" the whites of his eyes now decidedly red. No doubt I was going to heed his advice and exit the scene, I just needed to find a face saving way. He took a few steps toward me and repeated "get da F..k away !" I spit on the squirrel and gave ol wordsmith my best Clint Eastwood sneer as I quickly walked back to my car. The brute seemed frozen, I was already driving away when I heard the clearly distraught beast cry out... "what da fu......g squirrel do?.....what da fu....g squirrel doooo?" I'll be avoiding this Wethersfield, Ct, supermarket for awhile. Supermarket date hunting never works out for me. Shame...I like animals and this is the 2nd time I had to spit on one to save face.
johan Posted December 1, 2008 Posted December 1, 2008 He would have left you alone if you had simply picked up the squirrel and tore its head off with your teeth. Not only would you have been satiated, but you could have had the girl, too.
SoulSearch_CO Posted December 1, 2008 Posted December 1, 2008 Ah, the wide, wonderful world of dating. Having to spit on squirrels and such.
berrieh Posted December 1, 2008 Posted December 1, 2008 Quite the dating range, 18-80. Poor squirrel.
BlueHarvest Posted December 1, 2008 Posted December 1, 2008 Oh lord....this is either the wierdest dating story I've heard in awhile or the best fabrication I've heard...either way it's funny as hell...
Author Gold Pile Posted December 1, 2008 Author Posted December 1, 2008 He would have left you alone if you had simply picked up the squirrel and tore its head off with your teeth. Not only would you have been satiated, but you could have had the girl, too.That would be too mean, plus the animal might fight back.
JamesM Posted December 1, 2008 Posted December 1, 2008 He should write a book....with the creative mind he has, it should be a bestseller.
Author Gold Pile Posted December 2, 2008 Author Posted December 2, 2008 Nest time stay out of my business!! good one.
Author Gold Pile Posted December 2, 2008 Author Posted December 2, 2008 GP you are a legend...!!Thanks .... I think:confused:
Author Gold Pile Posted December 2, 2008 Author Posted December 2, 2008 Oh lord....this is either the wierdest dating story I've heard in awhile or the best fabrication I've heard...either way it's funny as hell... aw shucks....
julkat Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 LMAO Thats hilarious! Dating wildlife now has a whole new meaning for me!
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