CandyGirlXO Posted December 1, 2008 Posted December 1, 2008 One of my girlfriends wanted me to meet her BF's best friend. We kind of went on a double date if you could call it that last night. He was really nice and everything went pretty well. Good conversation, and we had a lot of interesting things in common, such as we both we born in the same area, we both went to the same college, and we both LOVE the same breed of dog, and also he worked at this supermarket right next to my apartment, the same time that I worked at the store next to it for years. Anyways just a few stupid things but still interesting nonetheless. He asked for my number, and told me he would call me later on this week so that I could meet his dog. I am just not sure there are a few things about him that worry/turn me off but he has a lot of good to him also. The things that turn me off are he is 6'4 about 220lbs, I am 5'2 108lbs, that kind of worries me. He is not fat, but he could lose a few, and I don't mean to sound shallow, but the thought of us having sex worries me. LOL, I think he will crush me! He is HUGE compared to me, and I am very small in my vajayjay, and I worry that he might be huge there also, and I do not like that at all. So I guess you can say I do not find him all that attractive, but he is definitely not ugly by any means. We went to my friends house and watched a movie afterwards and he put his arm around me, and I must admit it was nice having such a big guy hold me, but maybe its because it has been so long for me! Another thing that concerns me is that I really have this crush on a guy, but I don't think that is ever going to go anywhere, and I know I should just give up and move on, but I don't want to "settle" either. The things I like are he has a master's degree, a decent job, his own place, and he is older than me which I think is good. I am 26, he is 31. What do you guys think? I don't want to lead him on but I don't want to cancel him out right away. Should I still go see him and see what happens?
berrieh Posted December 1, 2008 Posted December 1, 2008 Wow. You just met this guy. That's a lot of analyzing so quick! If you like him, hang out again. If you don't, don't hang out. You don't have to fall so fast! (Falling fast is awesome, but falling slow is good, too. Let things flow.) If you don't find him attractive at all, then don't date him. But if you find him attractive, despite his not being your absolute type, then see what happens.
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted December 1, 2008 Posted December 1, 2008 You are way overthinking this. I used to do exactly what you are doing. You go out with him once. You are not seeing if he has mate potential, you are seeing if he has second date potential. On the second date, you are seeing if he has third date potential. And so on. You are perfectly entitled to change your mind at any time. As long as you are going in there with a good attitude and giving this your best shot, you need not worry about hurting him.
singleinjc Posted December 1, 2008 Posted December 1, 2008 All I have to say is 6'4" is fabulous for me. Im 5'9 and that is before I wear heels. For me 6'4" is a perfect height so pass him on to me.. lol In all seriousness - lately I have been giving decent normal men 3 dates before I really decide if I like him or not. If by the third date I do not want to rip his clothes off I know I have to move on. Of course if the date is just plain awful I try to jump out the window.. hahhahah
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted December 1, 2008 Posted December 1, 2008 Of course if the date is just plain awful I try to jump out the window.. hahhahah No date could be that bad. On second thought, there was the guy who told me he was abducted by aliens....and got upset when I thought he was kidding.....
xpaperxcutx Posted December 1, 2008 Posted December 1, 2008 6'4 is really tall! CG, you could give the guy a chance and enjoy his company rather than focus on his physical figures. It all depends on your interaction with him rather than how big you think his little buddy is.
singleinjc Posted December 1, 2008 Posted December 1, 2008 Trust me I have had numerous dates that qualify for jumping out the window... Hmmm Lets see one guy tried to buy me a kids ticket for the movie when I was 18 Another guy tried to split a $9.95 check on the first date Then there was the guy that insisted we sneak into a second movie on our first date Then there was the guy that admitted to being a drug trafficker One guy tried to take me on a date to see a movie but only if we watched it on his dvd / tv in his car and it was a bootleg video Oh geez.. the list just goes on and on....
Author CandyGirlXO Posted December 1, 2008 Author Posted December 1, 2008 All I have to say is 6'4" is fabulous for me. Im 5'9 and that is before I wear heels. For me 6'4" is a perfect height so pass him on to me.. lol In all seriousness - lately I have been giving decent normal men 3 dates before I really decide if I like him or not. If by the third date I do not want to rip his clothes off I know I have to move on. Of course if the date is just plain awful I try to jump out the window.. hahhahah LOL that is funny but very good advice. I like the whole 3 dates thing before you decide that sounds good and fair to me. That is kind of what concerns me, I don't want to rip his clothes off yet, whereas the guy I have a crush on that is the only thing I can think about every time I see him.
Author CandyGirlXO Posted December 1, 2008 Author Posted December 1, 2008 You are way overthinking this. I used to do exactly what you are doing. You go out with him once. You are not seeing if he has mate potential, you are seeing if he has second date potential. On the second date, you are seeing if he has third date potential. And so on. You are perfectly entitled to change your mind at any time. As long as you are going in there with a good attitude and giving this your best shot, you need not worry about hurting him. Yes, that is my problem I tend to over think everything. But thanks for reminded me that I am entitled to ending it whenever I want. I guess my problem is I have never really "dated" in my life. I have always met someone and then instantly they became my BF, so this is all new to me. But exciting too. I have also been thinking about joined a dating site just to see what happens, and have fun with that while I still can since all I ever do is be in LTR that never go anywhere. Time for me to see what is out there and not settle.
singleinjc Posted December 1, 2008 Posted December 1, 2008 No harm in dating the guy with the crush and the tall guy at the same time and just see where it goes. Also if the guy with the crush is not interested you might just have that crush forever .....
Author CandyGirlXO Posted December 1, 2008 Author Posted December 1, 2008 6'4 is really tall! CG, you could give the guy a chance and enjoy his company rather than focus on his physical figures. It all depends on your interaction with him rather than how big you think his little buddy is. Right, but for someone who is only 5'2, 6'4 is extremely tall! It just made me think about how it would be in the sack. He would destroy me!
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted December 1, 2008 Posted December 1, 2008 I'm 5'2 and I briefly dated a guy who was 6'5. It was very strange, and not very comfortable. I felt like his teddy bear.
Author CandyGirlXO Posted December 1, 2008 Author Posted December 1, 2008 No harm in dating the guy with the crush and the tall guy at the same time and just see where it goes. Also if the guy with the crush is not interested you might just have that crush forever ..... True thats what I was thinking, just date around for a while. Yes, I will probably have this crush forever, I have it so bad for this guy! It is pathetic, and makes me sad.
Author CandyGirlXO Posted December 1, 2008 Author Posted December 1, 2008 I'm 5'2 and I briefly dated a guy who was 6'5. It was very strange, and not very comfortable. I felt like his teddy bear. EXACTLY you know what I am saying. I dated a guy who was 6'2 for a year, and the sex was GREAT, but he was also very fit, and didn't weight over 100lbs more than me!
Isolde Posted December 1, 2008 Posted December 1, 2008 I'm 5'4 and "dated" a 6'3 guy briefly. It wasn't that bad. Oh but he was skinny. CandyGirl, what sites were you thinking of joining? Match and e-harmony are expensive, craigslist and plentyoffish are awful... I sorta gave up on the concept awhile ago, but would revisit it if I found a good site *shrugs*
singleinjc Posted December 1, 2008 Posted December 1, 2008 Crushes are fantastic.. I have a different one for every day of the week... hhahahah Sounds like I am the complete opposite - you say you have been in LTR's forever. I have been single and dating since 18.....now im 32. Maybe one day one of these 200+ dates that I have been on will work out hahhaha
Author CandyGirlXO Posted December 1, 2008 Author Posted December 1, 2008 I'm 5'4 and "dated" a 6'3 guy briefly. It wasn't that bad. CandyGirl, what sites were you thinking of joining? Match and e-harmony are expensive, craigslist and plentyoffish are awful... I sorta gave up on the concept awhile ago, but would revisit it if I found a good site *shrugs* Really I was thinking plentyoffish, because it is free. I was just browsing it a while ago and was quite surprised by the amount of guys in my area that are decent looking and around my age interested in a LTR/dating. I figured it couldn't hurt just to see what happens. I liked how you could search if they smoke/do drugs/level of education etc... a lot of people matched exactly what I am looking for. Whereas a lot of my exes are losers who didn't go to college, are abusive, or do drugs.
Author CandyGirlXO Posted December 1, 2008 Author Posted December 1, 2008 Crushes are fantastic.. I have a different one for every day of the week... hhahahah Sounds like I am the complete opposite - you say you have been in LTR's forever. I have been single and dating since 18.....now im 32. Maybe one day one of these 200+ dates that I have been on will work out hahhaha WOW! That is awesome, you sound like a fun girl who is very confident in herself! I am very envious of that. Good for you. One day I hope to be the same way. I do not have many crushes, and thats why this one that I have is so hard for me to get over.
Isolde Posted December 1, 2008 Posted December 1, 2008 Really I was thinking plentyoffish, because it is free. I was just browsing it a while ago and was quite surprised by the amount of guys in my area that are decent looking and around my age interested in a LTR/dating. I figured it couldn't hurt just to see what happens. I liked how you could search if they smoke/do drugs/level of education etc... a lot of people matched exactly what I am looking for. Whereas a lot of my exes are losers who didn't go to college, are abusive, or do drugs. Really maybe its just the pool in your area. Cos the POF guys in my area all had profiles that looked like they were written by a first grader. It was really depressing to go through page after page of that.
singleinjc Posted December 1, 2008 Posted December 1, 2008 I have noticed that a lot of people of plentyoffish say LTR and they really mean lets have sex as fast as possible.. hahhahah But I have found that all sites are generally the same.. you just need patience to weed through the crap....
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted December 1, 2008 Posted December 1, 2008 They are always hard to get over. Even when you are 36 and should know better.
Author CandyGirlXO Posted December 1, 2008 Author Posted December 1, 2008 I have noticed that a lot of people of plentyoffish say LTR and they really mean lets have sex as fast as possible.. hahhahah But I have found that all sites are generally the same.. you just need patience to weed through the crap.... Yup that is what I have heard a lot also, and I am not interested in that at all. So it might just be a total waste, but maybe I might be able to get some fun dates out of it. Sure beats staying home by myself on a Saturday night.
berrieh Posted December 1, 2008 Posted December 1, 2008 Right, but for someone who is only 5'2, 6'4 is extremely tall! It just made me think about how it would be in the sack. He would destroy me! I'm 5'4, and all my boyfriends but one have been over 6 foot. One was 6'5. But they were lanky/skinny, so they didn't crush me. I like the tall boys, and tall boys tend to like short girls (biologically they're attracted to them so they don't have giant kids...whereas short guys are biologically driven towards tall ladies).
Author CandyGirlXO Posted December 1, 2008 Author Posted December 1, 2008 Really maybe its just the pool in your area. Cos the POF guys in my area all had profiles that looked like they were written by a first grader. It was really depressing to go through page after page of that. LOL yeah I kind of noticed that too, a lot of misspelling etc... but I am not too concerned about that. Someone can be intelligent and not be a very good speller. I have a friend who is a doctor but one of the worst spellers I have ever met. You're picky but thats okay, because you definitely have a lot to offer.
singleinjc Posted December 1, 2008 Posted December 1, 2008 I would say definetly check it out because it just increases the amount of men that might be available. I have known plenty of people that have found luck from online dating - a lot even ended in marriage. I think overall that dating is hit or miss... whether you meet them online, in the grocery store or at church... You never know where the next great man might be lurking...
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