alwayssme Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 This is my problem with NC...(sorry if its a long post) I feel like time will keep passing and it will help HIM forget about me even more, and it will make me miss him and maybe help me but slowly since of course I'm the one who got dumped and is left heartbroken. I'm afraid that since I never really figured out what the hell happened, I will need "closure" as months go by, but then it would be too weird to contact him. I got too much pride and wouldn't contact him. I'm so afraid of us becoming "strangers" and I feel like that's what NC is going to do. Help him move on completely, keep me wondering and hurting as he doesnt call (then eventually help me move on later) and the result of it...I see us becoming strangers!!! I want to call him but I'm afraid he would act cold and it has been a month since the last time I called him. He texted me a couple times after that, I replied with careless answers. Then I saw him almost 3 weeks ago on the street (it was so random and weird)...My heart dropped to the floor. It was like "Hey..how are you" As if I was talking to a ****ing acquantance from school, not as if I was talking to someone who knew me inside out and who promised me the ****ing world. Anyway I realized it was way too painful to see how indifferent he was and decided to walk away and said "bye, take care"...blahh!! Now he hasnt called or texted me since...its so obvious im out of his head. The more time goes by the more he moves on. It hurts but Im mature enough to understand that life has losses and I am experiencing one right now. However this doesnt make what I'm going through any easier. I have times where I feel good, then I just break down and cry because reality hits that he's gone. I have read alot of stories here about how your ex'es cheated or did you wrong. But mine is so different from that. I finally met a GREAT guy! For the first time in my life, my heart and my head were in the same place. He gave me two of the best years of my life. Not to say we didnt have our problems because everyone does but overall it was good. Now that he's gone, ughhh I dont want to sit here and explain how it feels. All I'm gonna say is that I wouldnt wish this experience on anyone. Every day I miss something about him..I miss talking to him at night, sleeping with him at night, having sex with him, i miss HIM. Period. I have always been told (not to sound conceited) that I'm beautiful, with a head on my shoulders and that I can get any guy I want, it almost makes no sense for me to be so stuck on this one guy. Well apparantly the one I want doesnt want me anymore. He told me he is very attracted to me and thinks I have a great personality but "the spark" just isnt there anymore. Back then he was freaking obsessed with me and now he wants nothing to do with me... Where did I go wrong??? And the worst part I get no closure, no answers, no nothing...just an "I'm sorry but we have to move on." He even deleted me off his facebook This is my FIRST time dealing with this situation..I have never been so sad in my life before, Im usually a happy person and now all I can think about is him. It's like I cant get past the fact that my life took this turn...it wasnt supposed to happen like this. Do I stick with NC or break it and tell him I dont want us to become 'strangers"? Sorry this is so long....thanks to anyone who reads it and for any input i appreciate it...
Knight_Ctrl Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 I'm going through something very similar. I think the problem here is that you love this guy with all of your heart, and no matter how you feel this guy just doesn't love you back. It is likely that he has found someone else he is interested in BECAUSE he doesn't love you anywhere near as much as you love him. This makes it easier for him to not care about you and act so cold. That feeling is really hard to deal with, knowing that you've given everything you have to this person yet not matter how much you've given they just don't care. I love my recent ex with all of my heart but she already has this other dude lined up, it just makes it easier for her to not care about me. I hope you can just take care of yourself and make it through this...no body ever should have to go through crap like this. You've gotta stick with your NC, if he starts to think you'll always be there for him (even though you may be) he can't know it. Otherwise he'll just keep you on that leash.
EmperorR Posted December 1, 2008 Posted December 1, 2008 If you break NC, sorry he will continue to act cold. Alwaysme I know its hard, we all want to break NC call our exes and them being excited to hear us and say oh I was thinking about you just now long and hard and I want to give us another chance. But in reality the odds of that happening is less thatn 1%, breaking NC will just set you back, he'll just say the same thing he likes you probably, but the spark just isn't there. I know how hard it is, im on day 70 of NC, and like a idiot right now im on yahoo messenger hoping she messages me yes I'm pathetic. I miss my cheating whorish ex more than everything adn I don't know why, 70 days NC, and I'm still not healed, but at Least i don't know how happy her life is or something but I will continue on doing NC. I remember how i felt like before NC and it's something I don't want to feel again.
Author alwayssme Posted December 1, 2008 Author Posted December 1, 2008 Thank you guys! Emperor you are right. Ouch it hurts though. It's hard to cut someone you love extremely out of your life. I am forcing myself to not even see his page anymore, meaning to completely not know anything about him. I'm kind of staying away from mutual friends so I don't hear how happy he is or who he's with. It's a hard phase of my life. Very hard!
EmperorR Posted December 1, 2008 Posted December 1, 2008 Thank you guys! Emperor you are right. Ouch it hurts though. It's hard to cut someone you love extremely out of your life. I am forcing myself to not even see his page anymore, meaning to completely not know anything about him. I'm kind of staying away from mutual friends so I don't hear how happy he is or who he's with. It's a hard phase of my life. Very hard! Yup it's so had, I talked to my ex every single day for almost 3 years for hours, and now nothing. It's hard every day knowing how could someone I talk to for hours every day in 70 days of NC just send 3 text messages is that all I'm worth not even a phone call to check if I'm alive.
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