Capricciosa Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 But that's just it. Any complicated guy I've ever had the displeasure to date have been nothing but heartache and uncertainty, due to confusion which equates to excuses for etc, etc, etc... Ok, but have you found uncomplicated and intelligent? I haven't (and I'm not). The problem with big brains is they're always working, sifting, analyzing, imagining, so there is much more room for uncertainly and complication. I always thought that there was indeed a certain bliss to ignorance.
berrieh Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 Ok, but have you found uncomplicated and intelligent? I haven't (and I'm not). The problem with big brains is they're always working, sifting, analyzing, imagining, so there is much more room for uncertainly and complication. I always thought that there was indeed a certain bliss to ignorance. The boy I'm dating now is uncomplicated and intelligent. He's very quick-thinking but very easy-going and drama-free. Rare, though, I agree. I'm working on becoming uncomplicated... by working through all those racing, analytical thoughts. I've definitely become way less complicated over the past few months since I started trying to become simple and happy. It's a process.
Trialbyfire Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 Ok, but have you found uncomplicated and intelligent? I haven't (and I'm not). The problem with big brains is they're always working, sifting, analyzing, imagining, so there is much more room for uncertainly and complication. I always thought that there was indeed a certain bliss to ignorance. Yes, I have dated the unconfused. Think about it this way. If you can do it, it's not an impossibility that others can too. Analytics is a great way to sift and sort, to draw personal conclusions, not a way to muddy the waters. If someone is torn between issues, they're not where they need to be, to be involved in a serious relationship. An intelligent and rational mind has got to be the sexiest quality in a man, one that's irresistible, in the dating sense.
Capricciosa Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 I'm working on becoming uncomplicated... by working through all those racing, analytical thoughts. I've definitely become way less complicated over the past few months since I started trying to become simple and happy. It's a process. I try to meditate to keep my monkey brain from driving me crazy, but other than that, I have not yet found the recipe for simple and happy. Do tell, do tell... Yes, I have dated the unconfused. Think about it this way. If you can do it, it's not an impossibility that others can too. I guess the problem is I can't do it yet. Though it is a goal, it really is.
Walk Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 When you say "unintelligent", is that code for immature head case?
Isolde Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 I want someone I can hold a conversation with. That's all. I think there are a lot of fairly intelligent people around, or at least educable people (can learn for themselves through experiences and books). There's no greater turn off than someone who is skilled only in one area and has allowed their other interests to stagnate.
berrieh Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 I try to meditate to keep my monkey brain from driving me crazy, but other than that, I have not yet found the recipe for simple and happy. Do tell, do tell... Well, first and foremost, it involves dealing with your ****, whatever that is and creating a life you can be happy in. That must be done before anything else. Beyond that, for me it involves learning to be present. When I'm present, I'm simple and happy. It's when I'm in the past or the future that things get complicated. (That's not to say I have no long-term goals, but I set them in motion and don't dwell. I create a series of short-term immediate goals instead.) I still have my neurotic moments, but they're in the minority now, instead of the majority, thank God. But I know I can "fall off the wagon" (and into my head) easily, so it does still require some vigilance. I'm hoping someday it'll become 2nd nature.
Adunaphel Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 I couldn't date someone I do not find intelligent. Recently, though, I came to the realization that perhaps I used to go looking for the wrong kind of intelligence. I used to be very fascinated by men whom I could have very challenging conversations with. By challenging I mean that - no matter whether the topic was serious or not - they stimulated my sense of humour and my imagination, and they made me feel in the mood for being witty and ironic. Th feeling was better than sex and chocolate! Well, perhaps better than chocolate. It was addictive. The person I am currently in a relationship with is very intelligent, but talking with him makes me feel good for totally different reasons. I do not feel the urge to impress him. I do not feel the need to show him how witty I can be. And yet I adore talking with him, even very average talk is very far from boring. I also feel as confortable as talking with my best female friend. He *can* be brilliant if he wants to... but it's like if he keeps it as an option. (hard to explain, I wish so much I could express myself better in english) I just wish I had met a man like him before, I would have probably not fallen for a couple of very wrong guys.
kashmir Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 When people get to know me, they tell me I'm extremely intelligent. I know this too. The reason why is I'll almost always know what I'm doing and understand the logic, reasons, and consequences behind a certain act or idea. I do plenty of stupid things, but I do them on purpose and am not fooled that I'm doing something that's smart (stupid things mostly means dangerous, harmful, totally unproductive stuff. Ex - trying to go off a ramp on my bike where I'm almost definitely going to crash and burn and fall flat on my face, or knowing that I might irk someone if I say something in particular but still doing it anyway because I want to create confrontation with that person for various reasons. Both these things are usually done out of need for self-satisfaction and enjoyment). The exception to this is social situations - ones where I'm trying to meet people, make friends, and meet girls. Then I'll do stupid stuff without knowing it's stupid. I enjoy being the underdog and debating a topic where I'm going to have a large majority going against me. I view it as a challenge. This is usually what happens with my friends. We'll be discussing something, I'll make a controversial and questionable statement, and everyone else will critique it and try to prove me wrong. Sometimes they do and sometimes they don't. Either way, I still like being elaborate, even with little things. I find that elaborating on little things that we seem to take for granted is a great source of humor. If a girl didn't appreciate that part of me then, well, I'd probably get bored of her as she would get bored of me.
berrieh Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 The exception to this is social situations - ones where I'm trying to meet people, make friends, and meet girls. Then I'll do stupid stuff without knowing it's stupid. In my literacy workshop this year, there was a saying that became prominent: Everyone is illiterate at something.
amaysngrace Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 When people get to know me, they tell me I'm extremely intelligent. Me too. But I don't seem that way. Generally I think the first impression I make is someone who's aloof. I can so relate to confusion and intelligence. It's the only thing that holds my interest in a man. But that's because I am that way too. And I need someone like me to truly understand me.
Isolde Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 I couldn't date someone I do not find intelligent. Recently, though, I came to the realization that perhaps I used to go looking for the wrong kind of intelligence. I used to be very fascinated by men whom I could have very challenging conversations with. By challenging I mean that - no matter whether the topic was serious or not - they stimulated my sense of humour and my imagination, and they made me feel in the mood for being witty and ironic. Th feeling was better than sex and chocolate! Well, perhaps better than chocolate. It was addictive. The person I am currently in a relationship with is very intelligent, but talking with him makes me feel good for totally different reasons. I do not feel the urge to impress him. I do not feel the need to show him how witty I can be. And yet I adore talking with him, even very average talk is very far from boring. I also feel as confortable as talking with my best female friend. He *can* be brilliant if he wants to... but it's like if he keeps it as an option. (hard to explain, I wish so much I could express myself better in english) I just wish I had met a man like him before, I would have probably not fallen for a couple of very wrong guys. I agree with this. You have to be happy talking about ordinary things too. It's the HOW, not the WHAT, really.
fral945 Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 An intelligent and rational mind has got to be the sexiest quality in a man, one that's irresistible, in the dating sense. That's wonderful to hear TBF, but I've never had a woman compliment me on how rational I am. I think sweet, charming, funny, tall, dark, handsome, rich, successful, etc. all come before rational. I've actually been complimented on my intelligence before but never my rationality. That would actually be a huge turn-on if I ever heard it from a woman I was dating, though. But it's good to know there are a few women like you out there (though not many). You are one of a kind.
amaysngrace Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 I think sweet, charming, funny, tall, dark, handsome, rich, successful, etc. all come before rational. I've actually been complimented on my intelligence before but never my rationality. Really? Nobody has ever told you how level-headed you are? Me either.
Trialbyfire Posted December 1, 2008 Posted December 1, 2008 I've actually been complimented on my intelligence before but never my rationality. A rational man is a keeper.
fral945 Posted December 1, 2008 Posted December 1, 2008 A rational man is a keeper. Please spread the word to your fellow females.
monkey00 Posted December 1, 2008 Posted December 1, 2008 I think the problem that lies with people who are too logical, rational, or analytical for that matter lack emotional depth. Emotional depth is a very strong trait to connect with others, through humor, understanding, compassion, empathy, bonding, etc. Don't get me wrong there are individuals who are highly intelligent and capable of both emotional depth and keeping up a smart conversation. Though when I was younger I always tended to be the logical and analytical guy, and never did quite understand why I didn't have a gf. My family (especially my parents) are particularly the emotionally detached bunch, so I never understood how to express myself. Over the years I've gotten a little more laid-back and embraced that other side of me and have changed a lot. The only way I can grow is if I challenge myself, and not only of others. Personally I love a woman who has the right balance. Who's in touch with her emotions as well as able to think logically with her head straight and talk and laugh with me when the timing's right. I need both.
Trialbyfire Posted December 1, 2008 Posted December 1, 2008 Y'know what? I'd rather a man who's intelligent and rational who doesn't need to connect with everyone but is capable and particular about the people he connects with. People pleasers tend to be chameleons, uncertain of who they are and what they want in life. More times than not, I find that people pleasers aren't even close to the person they pretend to be, just out for the popularity vote because deep inside, they're pretty nasty and insecure.
Lovelybird Posted December 1, 2008 Posted December 1, 2008 Intelligence is over-rated, Hitler is VERY intelligent, but.....
Trialbyfire Posted December 1, 2008 Posted December 1, 2008 Intelligence is over-rated, Hitler is VERY intelligent, but..... Hence why the rational part is so important. Anyone can self-justify anything but is it really rational?
Lovelybird Posted December 1, 2008 Posted December 1, 2008 Hence why the rational part is so important. Anyone can self-justify anything but is it really rational? For them, it IS rational, because they are own god, themselves are gods to judge who is intelligent or non-intelligent Hitler must think himself as most talented genius, most rational leader, the people he hates are scumbags or dumees who don't have rights to live in his thoughts
Trialbyfire Posted December 1, 2008 Posted December 1, 2008 For them, it IS rational, because they are own god, themselves are gods to judge who is intelligent or non-intelligent Hitler must think himself as most talented genius, most rational leader, the people he hates are scumbags or dumees who don't have rights to live in his thoughts That's just self-justification v. rational behaviour. No one who's rational would kill over 6 million people.
Lovelybird Posted December 1, 2008 Posted December 1, 2008 Almost everybody thinks their own self-justification is rational and wiser behaviour. This is the difficult part. except of persons who don't worship themselves
Trialbyfire Posted December 1, 2008 Posted December 1, 2008 I'm using one of the dictionary definitions of rational which is: Of sound mind; sane Anyways, read Mein Kampf one day if you have time. Hitler makes reference to syphilis a number of times and also ties it into being a Jewish and prostitution disease. There are theories that Hitler had syphilis as a young man, for a prolonged number of years, caught from a Jewish prostitute. There was also schizophrenia rampant in his family. Another theory was that he had Aspergers. For whatever reason, this animal was not sane/rational but he was undeniably intelligent.
Isolde Posted December 1, 2008 Posted December 1, 2008 I like rational guys because I'm not overly rational myself. But too much of a good thing creeps me out.
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