trixy Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 I have been seeing my boyfriend for about six months and we are very happy. We have a fantastic sex life and we are considering moving in together. Yesterday my boyfriend got out of bed at about 6 am, I went back to sleep and woke an hour later, he came back to bed and we made love. He went out and I I was messing around on the internet and discovered from his browsing history that he had been on a porn website looking at pictures while I was sleeping, and then came back to bed and made love to me. he says that he is only looking at pictures and not talking to any other women. I believe him. I have since discovered that he has at times been looking at porn on the internet straight after we have made love. Is this normal? he says that we have the best sex he has ever had, and it is fantastic, but I feel betrayed and vulnerable because of this. Should I accept it and move on or is he a bit of a looser?
SushiX Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 Seems normal to me. I have porn on 24/7 even while sleeping. Pretty cool huh?
Haruka Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 Looking at porn is normal. This recreation event within adults has been around since Ancient times. Look at Greek urns and pots etc. Your boyfriend is only human. The girls he is looking at are only fantasy. I had a chat with an adult store owner once, and I mentioned that Belladonna (a famous porn actress) was going to an expo to do signings. The owner replied he wasn't going to meet her as, he could not have her in real life as she was a fantasy figure. My boyfriend and I have watched porn together and have gotten ideas on how to spice up our relationship. There is somethings I don't like watching, such as women performing fellatio, however I am content on watching girls do anal etc. It depends on tastes. If you are that worried about it. How about you suggest to your boyfriend that you go to an adult store or to a video shop that rents out ® rated porn and watch it together. Then after the film discuss on what you would like to try on each other. It is very enjoyable.
Green Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 Who knows or cares if its normal, seriously if you were my gf I'd tell you off for "discovering" as you put it my internet history
Author trixy Posted November 30, 2008 Author Posted November 30, 2008 I found out completely by accident when trying to find you tube, he knows this and was fine.
Author trixy Posted November 30, 2008 Author Posted November 30, 2008 What feels strange is the fact that I was in bed next door while he was looking at porn on the net. Is that normal?
Gremio Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 What feels strange is the fact that I was in bed next door while he was looking at porn on the net. Is that normal? I'm a mid 20s male. I find that pretty abnormal. To me, it seems he needed something to get that spark in him going. Or maybe he was just bored lying there with you, happened upon porn while doing something else on the PC, and wanted to make love to you.
soserious1 Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 I think some porn use is normal, particularly for a young,single guy.. what would be worrisome to me is that you're saying he's using porn right before creeping into bed with you... and often right away afterwards. When a man is using porn almost every time before he comes and creeps into bed with you I'd say you've got a red flag on your hands,particularly if you aren't married or even living together yet. My soon to be ex husband used to do that... what finally ended up coming out is that though he loved me as a person, he wasn't attracted to me enough physically to have sex with me. He basically would watch porn long enough to get excited,then creep into our bed and pretend that I was the porn star he was just watching.He couldn't climax with me.. I didn't arouse him visually, he wasn't physically attracted to me, many times he'd fake orgasm and then finish himself off with the porn.
Author trixy Posted November 30, 2008 Author Posted November 30, 2008 I don't think that is an issue, most men would class me as very attractive and I have a very good figure. He gets very excited just sitting next to me at times. That is why I am confused.
You'reasian Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 My soon to be ex husband used to do that... what finally ended up coming out is that though he loved me as a person, he wasn't attracted to me enough physically to have sex with me. He basically would watch porn long enough to get excited,then creep into our bed and pretend that I was the porn star he was just watching. He couldn't climax with me.. I didn't arouse him visually, he wasn't physically attracted to me, many times he'd fake orgasm and then finish himself off with the porn. This is unbelievable. We guys climax too easily and there's no way to fake it (unless he's some kind of Special Effects film expert lol)
Green Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 I don't think that is an issue, most men would class me as very attractive and I have a very good figure. He gets very excited just sitting next to me at times. That is why I am confused. Wow who knew we were communicating with such a hotty! Seriosly though how were you trying to find youtube? Isn't it just one of those websites you have no trouble getting to like google? I truely give the best advice and here it is... Don't even worry or think about it, if you like him other then this thing you discovered then just drop it and move on with your life, don't cause drama where there was none
soserious1 Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 This is unbelievable. We guys climax too easily and there's no way to fake it (unless he's some kind of Special Effects film expert lol) Google the term "retarded ejaculation" it's pretty common and aside from some sort of physical illness the most common cause is not being physically aroused by your current partner.
Author trixy Posted November 30, 2008 Author Posted November 30, 2008 Don't even worry or think about it, if you like him other then this thing you discovered then just drop it and move on with your life, don't cause drama where there was none Thank you, that was my first thought after I had ceased to be shocked, but I needed to hear a male perspective on this.
Humbleman Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 The people who have a problem with their partners watching porn are sexually insecure people. It's normal and it's acceptable.
soserious1 Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 I don't think that is an issue, most men would class me as very attractive and I have a very good figure. He gets very excited just sitting next to me at times. That is why I am confused. Men are very visual.. which is why when you look at their porn collections you'll see hundreds of DIFFERENT women.No matter how good you look,after being with you a couple hundred times they'll crave variety. Do you feel confused or used? like instead of finishing himself with self-pleasure he came into the bedroom and substituted you for his hand?
norajane Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 It can be a problem if he would rather use porn than have sex with you. I know you said your sex life is fantastic, so maybe he's just a horny young guy and can't get enough. When he came back to bed that morning, how was the sex for you? Did he spend a lot of time on foreplay and turning you on first and making sure you had an orgasm, or did he just get right to his own orgasm because he'd already gotten hot and bothered watching porn?
Gremio Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 This is unbelievable. We guys climax too easily and there's no way to fake it (unless he's some kind of Special Effects film expert lol) It could very well be the condoms but I cannot climax "too easily". I can last for hours at times.
berrieh Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 Yes, for men, it is normal to look at porn. I've known some who didn't, but many do, at least occasionally. I'm not a fan of men who look at porn every day, constantly, or who put it on display. It would probably bother me if a man often looked at porn and then came into bed with me. I'd feel like that made me part of the whole thing, and I'm not into that idea---being the "ending" to his arousal by something else. Bu if it's not a habit or anything, and you have a functional relationship otherwise, I wouldn't harp on it.
CandyGirlXO Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 I watch porn also.... and MOST of the porn I see, the girls are not even that good looking. I think it is more the act that gets them turned on, and not always necessarily the girl. I wouldn't worry about it, watch it with him. You might learn some new moves!
Author trixy Posted November 30, 2008 Author Posted November 30, 2008 It can be a problem if he would rather use porn than have sex with you. I know you said your sex life is fantastic, so maybe he's just a horny young guy and can't get enough. When he came back to bed that morning, how was the sex for you? Did he spend a lot of time on foreplay and turning you on first and making sure you had an orgasm, or did he just get right to his own orgasm because he'd already gotten hot and bothered watching porn? I woke up and wandered into the lounge and he followed me back to bed, he has never been a selfish lover and is always concerned with my pleasure before his own. We are both in our late thirties. I know that he has a very high sex drive.
movingonandon Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 it's such a relief not to see a single disaproving post... no problem with porn (unless that begins to interfere with ur sex life, that's completely different story).
CandyGirlXO Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 I'm a mid 20s male. I find that pretty abnormal. To me, it seems he needed something to get that spark in him going. Or maybe he was just bored lying there with you, happened upon porn while doing something else on the PC, and wanted to make love to you. There is a disapproving post!
Gremio Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 There is a disapproving post! I wasn't disapproving, just commenting on how the situation of how it happened may/may not be awkward. It's all a matter of opinion since none of us were there to witness it!
Green Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 I wasn't disapproving, just commenting on how the situation of how it happened may/may not be awkward. It's all a matter of opinion since none of us were there to witness it! I actualy witnessed it, he left his web cam on:cool:
You'reasian Posted December 1, 2008 Posted December 1, 2008 It could very well be the condoms but I cannot climax "too easily". I can last for hours at times. The point I was getting at is that we guys always have orgasms, whether we go for the quickee or long-lasting session.
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