Quinch Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 I posted last week about my friend who was beaten up by her ex-boyfriend and is now thinking of getting together with her first husband. She called me this afternoon saying that she's not sure if she loves ex-H even though he's a good man with a good job, very caring, etc. She still has more feelings for ex-BF. Very confused. People tell her to take her time over making any decisions but she feels that she doesn't have time because she's 35 now and scared that she might never be a mother. Her own mother had the menapause in her late 30s which means she might only have one or two years left. It's really upsetting her and she's asking me for advice. What should I tell her? Take her time and be sure or take a risk now?
Geishawhelk Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 She needs to determine whether having a child is more important to her, than having a child with the right man..... And of the two, at a push, it would seem to be the former. But that's no reason to have a child.....
Author Quinch Posted November 30, 2008 Author Posted November 30, 2008 Thanks. She's really getting herself wound up over this. The ex-H really wants kids plus she's an only child so I think there's loads of pressure on her to deliver the goods (as it were).
Geishawhelk Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 Even if they don't stay together, they'd have to agree to give the children the best and most beneficial environment possible, to ensure a stable upbringing. Does he want children with her, though? Do you think you might suggest they actually talk about this together?
Author Quinch Posted December 1, 2008 Author Posted December 1, 2008 Apparently he really wants children and I'm not worried about him not being around to help raise them. I'm more worried that, if she can't give him children (and she's had two miscarriages so it's not a certainty), he might go and find another woman who can. She's staked her entire future happiness on becoming a mother in the next two years.
Author Quinch Posted December 4, 2008 Author Posted December 4, 2008 She wants to go back to the ex-b/f that beat her up. Despite everything she still loves him. She knows it's wrong and all her friends and family have told her she's stupid and/or crazy but he's her 'soul mate' apparently and she can't help herself. Why do girls do this to themselves?
Joyvke Posted December 4, 2008 Posted December 4, 2008 Emotional attachment. I'd have troubles myself, but if they beat me, screw them. Not gonna let that happen at least. Hope she realises how stupid she is and just goes out and looks for some guy she can love and that loves her as well.
huggies Posted December 5, 2008 Posted December 5, 2008 If having a child is more important to her, then she can choose any one of them at any time.
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