Men who like to see their partners with other guys

[sm00thcreamy]

First I will tell you a little about us.

 

I consider myself a kind honest person who finds any kind of violence repulsive. I always treat others how they wish to be treated and expect the same in return. My wife has always been a very good mother (if a little soft in the discipline department), and I suppose I have been a good father (you would have to ask my family to get an honest opinion because I am bound to be a little biased). Our children love and respect us now they have passed through those difficult teenage years and they now understand why they had to be in at 9pm

 

My wife & I have been married for 20 years. When we met I was 19 and she 20, she was (and still is) very slim and good looking and we fell in love over night. For the first few months it was very intense, we couldn't get enough of each other and had sex a few times a day. As the years pass sex in a relationship becomes less and less frequent, especially when children come along. I think maybe women are ok with this but men are not. I think maybe sex for a woman is more about love and togetherness with the eventual outcome of giving birth to a child and when she has her family sex becomes less important.

 

Now a little about the average man (I consider myself to be somewhat average). You have to understand we are the creations of evolution and nobody can argue with that. For a man a woman will probably be one of the most beautiful things he will ever behold, (this is probably not the same for a woman looking at a man) and this coupled with the overwhelming desire to spread his seed is a very powerful force and this is ruthlessly exploited by the pornography industry, so much so that you have to feel a little sorry for us.

 

Anyway back to my life, I tried to keep sex alive in our relationship by trying new things. In our early years I was very jealous of any man looking at my wife but as time passed I realised how much she loved me and this jealousy passed. As I encouraged her to try new and different things she thought I was just being a bit kinky but we still had good fun. I never pushed her to do things she was unhappy about and always asked her if she was ok. Shed often had ideas of her own.

 

Now one of the things that turns me on the most is seeing my wife turned on. The more she gets turned on the more it turns me on. I love to see a woman really enjoying sex and letting go of all her inhibitions.

 

About 5 years ago I started having fantasies about seeing my wife being f***** by another man, this was for one reason only, I wanted to see her take to new heights of sexual pleasure, I wanted her to have the time of her life. The reason for this was I suppose a selfish one, wanting to fulfil my fantasies using my wife. But in a relationship we do things for one another don't we? My theory was if she could let herself go and enjoy having 2 men it would be good fun for us both.

 

I took me a long while to voice this to my wife for fear that she would think bad of me and would think I didn't love her anymore. I was right, at first she was upset because she imagined that I wanted to do this for all the wrong reasons, and none of the reasons I explained. She could not understand why on earth I would want another man to f*** her.

 

I think this has something to do with the fact that women make love to men but men have sex with women. As she explains it to me when we have sex she feels love at the same time, like sex and love are a joined emotion. This is no so for me and I suspect for most other men too. For me sex and love are two totally different emotions. For me love is holding her in my arms while we watch TV, taking care of her when she is ill, spending hours at the shops deciding what I want to buy her for a present because I want to see her face light up with delight, making her smile and feel safe, wanting her to be happy.

 

But sex for me is a separate thing.

 

So after we talked it over and talked some more she finally accepted and understood my feelings and said yes to a threesome. She was still a little worried and a lot nervous about getting naked for another man but she was willing to give it a go. We found a stranger on a swingers site and after much correspondence with the guy we decided to meet in a public place and just talk. We all got on well and decided to take the plunge. The experience for all 3 of us was awesome.

 

During the threesome she was very nervous but had quite a few orgasms and overall we all thoroughly enjoyed it.

 

Now it wasn't all ok after it was over. We went home and I felt guilty and jealous at what had happened but these feelings soon dissapeared. I am a very strong minded person and I had decided that no matter how I felt afterwards I was 100% sure I would never take it out on her. After a few months we tried it a few more times, sometimes with the same guy and sometimes with different guys.We always talked it over and I always asked her repeatedly if she was ok with it.

 

I think when she got passed the fact that this was just sex and was just harmless fun and she realised our relationship was as sound as always and that she was getting the oportunity to have a bit more fun in her life she accepted it and enjoyed it and now asks when we can do it again (she picks the guy and lets me arrange it all).

 

Now I know what some of you may be thinking, SHOCK! HORROR! The woman is a slut! I think otherwise. You women label yourselves unfairly in my opinion. A man who sleeps around is not subject to the same ridicule as a woman, this is unfair. As long as they are single or in a situation (like us) where it is by choice and completley open what does it matter?

 

Safe sex is great, its enjoyable, its better to have an enjoyable evening in good company with an enjoyable outcome than to go and get drunk or take drugs for fun. I think nights out that involve lots of alcahol or drugs are much more harmfull to people and also increase crime and violence.

 

If you do this I willl say one thing, you must be prepared about how you will feel after because there is no going back. If you realise it was a mistake when the deed is done, tuff, you cannot turn back time. So take it slow if you are not 100% sure. Maybe sex with another guy watching first and go home and talk about it and be completly honest about how you both felt, then next time maybe let him touch her once, whatever you are both happy with.

 

We have a very strong relationship and we both love each other very much. It has rekindled our sex and we still use it as a fantasy and she now enjoys threesomes. She has learned to enjoy herself and to let go and just enjoy the sex. Now she completly understands her man and we are much happier for it and we still love each other very much and our relationship is stronger than ever.

 

So for all you women out there who think that "men that want to see their partners ****ed by another man" are sick perverts I hope this helps you understand us a little better. Yes there are some men who do it for the wrong reasons but there are some, like me who do it for reasons that we, as a couple consider acceptable. We are not saying it is right or wrong but it is a choice and you only live once, so have fun!

[Stung]

um, okay. i mean, it sounds fine to me, and i am a woman, but i guess i'm not your target audience. or maybe not everyone is as judgmental as you think they are. personally i suspect i'd be a happy little camper if my own partner had this particular sexual 'abberation,' and i have absolutely no problem with the idea of polyandry or of setting up a little playtime 'man-harem' for myself/us. however, i do have a formidable jealous streak, and the idea of him setting hand on another woman is very distressing to me and totally verboten. therefore in the interests of being fair to each other we've settled on strict monogamy as a compromise

[signedin2008]

Now it wasn't all ok after it was over. We went home and I felt guilty and jealous at what had happened but these feelings soon dissapeared. I am a very strong minded person and I had decided that no matter how I felt afterwards I was 100% sure I would never take it out on her. After a few months we tried it a few more times, sometimes with the same guy and sometimes with different guys.We always talked it over and I always asked her repeatedly if she was ok with it.

 

Deep down, you know you, your wife, and your marriage are in the danger zone. Deep down, you know that she may fall for one of the guys she doing this will or will do this with. Deep down, you know that she may compare you to the guys and you might not measure up.

 

 

Now I know what some of you may be thinking, SHOCK! HORROR! The woman is a slut!

 

Are you in anyway trying not to judge your wife for continue to want to do this with other men? Over time, you might start to lose respect for her and not see her as his homely wife and mother. Over time, she might lose respect for you as a HUSBAND and a father.

 

Once again, you both and your marriage are in a danger zone.

[Zolar]

After spending over a decade working in and around the adult entertainment industry, I'd have to say that more than ever I think this sort of behavior is sick and perverted. Since I've had more than my fair share of exposure to sick, perverted men, you'd have a difficult time convincing me that this sort of thing is in any way normal or part of a healthy loving relationship. It couldn't be. And, your views of women's sexuality are archaic... and insulting.

 

Of course, OP, you're in good company because there are tons of men like you out there. That thought was so frightening to me in my younger years of full-time work where I was exposed to such people daily that I had days when I just couldn't leave my house.

 

Oh, BTW, I kicked my ex to the curb after he went of the deep end. He started hearing voices, hiding my mail and lying. Then he began brutally attacking me in every room of the house. He wanted to have sex with everyone we knew and one of his sick fantasies was to see me have sex with a friend of ours... This after we were together for 7 years. He was always out there with his perversions, but when he began violently sexually attacking me and making these sick suggestions, immediately filed for divorce and did what I had to do to ensure my physical safety. So, again... it's all related behavior - all related to mental instability and sickness. That is my personal experience. My ex showed signs of being a perv years ago, but I either ignored it or indulged him to some degree or other to keep the peace. I wish I hadn't, believe me. He is a deeply sick individual. But, he "hid it" for years by his own confession.

[Stockalone]

Good for you that you have found out what works for the both of you. However, I can guarantee you that it won't work for everybody. And not all men have that fantasy.

[norajane]

I never pushed her to do things she was unhappy about

 

Yes you do:

at first she was upset

 

So after we talked it over and talked some more she finally accepted and understood my feelings and said yes to a threesome.

 

What do you think pushing her to do things she's unhappy about means? You kept at it and kept at it and kept at it until she finally agreed. That's pushing.

 

About 5 years ago I started having fantasies about seeing my wife being f***** by another man, this was for one reason only, I wanted to see her take to new heights of sexual pleasure, I wanted her to have the time of her life.

Really? This doesn't sound like she's having the time of her life:

Now it wasn't all ok after it was over.

I always asked her repeatedly if she was ok with it.

she accepted it

she finally accepted

Accepting it and being ok with it is nowhere near the same thing as having the time of her life.

 

The reason for this was I suppose a selfish one, wanting to fulfil my fantasies using my wife.

That sounds more like the truth.

 

Congratulations. You manipulated your wife into having sex with other men when she didn't want to.

[OWoman]

Interesting thread!

 

A M-W-M threesome used to be a fantasy of mine, but of course most guys are only interested in a WMW threesome and that held absolutely no interests for me, so I never pursued it.

 

Then one day with MM we were talking about fantasies, and he admitted to a M-W-M fantasy for the reasons the OP describes, basically getting turned on by seeing me turned on, and so we talked about putting it into practice. The trouble was, by the time we trusted and respected each other to the point of sharing those very intimate fantasies, we'd developed feelings for each other, and our sexual practice had become exclusive, and I just couldn't find another guy who turned me on remotely - and MM admitted to feeling relieved, because he's a deeply monogamous person at heart, and the idea of sharing the woman he loved didn't quite feel right to him when he got down to really think about it.

 

So it's remained a fantasy to this day, though definitely one that brought us closer together, and one we've explored in other ways using that basic driver (of him getting off seeing me getting off) as the focus rather than the detail of the extra guy.

 

And we've spared some poor arb guy the alienation of being the walk-on extra in what is essentially a very intimate fantasy between two people.

[Lizzie60]

I read your post very quickly.. and I had the strange feeling it was written by a woman..

 

I think this is a normal 'fantasy'... a lot of women and men do like to fantasize about their partner having sex with someone else..

 

But for the fantasy to become reality is another story.. I know this wouldn't work for most couples.. but I know it works out for some people.

 

One of my best friend lived the same situation with her first H... they would go to bar and he would pick up a guy (most of the time younger) and bring them home that evening.. and she would have sex with him..

 

But one day, she fell for one guy.. and had an A with him.. behind her H's back..

 

They eventually divorced.... After this fantasy, he wanted more.. and more.

[Curmudgeon]

So for all you women out there who think that "men that want to see their partners ****ed by another man" are sick perverts...

 

Well, I'm both a guy and a husband and I think you're a sick pervert!

[johan]

I sometimes wonder about the thought process of posters like this.

 

1) "A while ago I did something somewhat deviant with my wife".

2) "Today I sought out a public internet forum where I could proclaim my success to people who don't know me or care."

3) "I just had to get it out there. But I don't care to stick around and discuss it. There's nothing to discuss. I just felt the urge to document the whole thing."

[Lizzie60]

I sometimes wonder about the thought process of posters like this.

 

 

and ???? at least he's throwing some interesting thoughts..for discussion... some people starts threads (or never does ) about really 'boring' or 'uninteresting' stuff..

[johan]

"Interesting" is in the eye of the beholder, to be honest. It's not a surprise that you would find this interesting. I might find it interesting, but so far it just seems to be a bit of baiting. So I'm not willing to take it as a sincere "baring of the soul". Because he's only (apparently) sitting back and watching what goes on on his thread. He wasn't here to discuss anything.

 

If he's not watching, then I can't figure out what was the benefit to starting the thread at all. Why would someone pop onto a forum, slam down some heavy facts about their life, and then walk away without a thought. There are people who like to stir the pot. I think they'd say just about anything just to get a reaction.

 

In fact, you often do this, Lizzie. You often post about your "trysts" and in the process come off as a particularly shallow person. You apparently enjoy doing so, simply for the reaction you get, because there is no real soul searching or problem solving to be done. If it's not for the reaction, then I can't figure out what other benefit you could be getting.

[Mr. Lucky]

I've always felt that everyone's relationship looks strange to an outsider. If you've found something that works for both of you and you can both handle the obvious pitfalls, congratualtions. My wife and I use a similar fantasy but with toys and role playing. While it gets - and more importantly, keeps - both of us excited, we have no interest in taking it to the next level and involving others. To each his own ...

 

Mr. Lucky

[Curmudgeon]

Boring is also in the eyes of the beholder.

 

Quite frankly, a lacivious thread more often turns out to be boring to me rather than interesting. It's usually composed to either shock, to court favor or to stroke the already over-inflated ego of the poster.

 

Whatever floats their boats I guess.

[norajane]

I sometimes wonder about the thought process of posters like this.

 

1) "A while ago I did something somewhat deviant with my wife".

2) "Today I sought out a public internet forum where I could proclaim my success to people who don't know me or care."

3) "I just had to get it out there. But I don't care to stick around and discuss it. There's nothing to discuss. I just felt the urge to document the whole thing."

 

Maybe he's writing erotic fiction and wants to see how his idea goes over.

 

Or maybe it's the other way around and his wife is the one who wanted to do other men, and he's the cuckholded sub in the relationship and she made him post it publicly to humiliate him because it turns them on and he's polishing her shoes with his tongue right now while she's doing some other guy.

[sm00thcreamy]

Maybe he's writing erotic fiction and wants to see how his idea goes over.

 

Or maybe it's the other way around and his wife is the one who wanted to do other men, and he's the cuckholded sub in the relationship and she made him post it publicly to humiliate him because it turns them on and he's polishing her shoes with his tongue right now while she's doing some other guy.

 

Hi to all me and the wife have been reading your threads but this particular one made me giggle somewhat.

 

One of the reasons that made me post this was that I did a little research on this subject and every forum that had a similar post on this subject the man was getting shot down badly and I thought some of the replies were a little unjust, (mention no names bentnotbroken and Curmudgeon).

 

The other reason was for the guys who have the same fantasy to know there are others out there with the same thing going on. For some it works and for others it’s a total no go.

 

I also thought maybe it would help their wives or girlfriends to understand them a little better and ease their opinions a bit, especially if they have been arguing about it.

 

My wife has also been reading the posts and there was only one point that was brought up that worried her a little. That I would loose respect for her.

 

I have more respect for her now than before because she has took the time to understand and support her partner. After all trust, understanding and love make a strong relationship.

 

[sm00thcreamy]

But the line

Well, I'm both a guy and a husband and I think you're a sick pervert!

is not very constructive or helpfull is it?

[Zolar]

OP, your wife should not worry about you losing respect for her - you must not have had any respect for her to begin with.

 

Empty people - empty soulless people who are unable to empathize with others - in a word "narcissists" have no respect for other people. They are only interested in what they want and how they can manipulate other people to get it.

[signedin2008]

 

My wife has also been reading the posts and there was only one point that was brought up that worried her a little. That I would loose respect for her.

 

 

 

I was the one who brought that point. This might not happen in the next year or two or five, but it definately can happen, EVEN if you don't think you will feel that way. Most men don't feel disgusted with say a prostitute when they sleep with them, but after they married them or been while them for a while and the whole taboo of these women's behavior sink into their head, they started to feel differently about them and disrespect them as women and human being.

 

People change and alot of times as we get older and older, we get more mature and conservative. I won't be surprised at all when either one of you or both of you start to lose respect for each other.

[sxyNYCcpl]

Wow. At the risk of being repetitive, I say again wow. It's abso-fricking-loutely amazing to me how petty, judgmental, and ignorant some people can be when the topic is outside the box thinking with regards to sexuality.

 

To wit.

 

OP, your wife should not worry about you losing respect for her - you must not have had any respect for her to begin with.

 

Really?? Really??? Because he thinks it may be enjoyable, for BOTH of them, to add other people to their sex lives, it implies a lack of respect?

 

You would have to ask him if it was constructive and maybe it didn't help you, but someone else not to make that poor choice.

 

Poor choice? Says who? You??

 

So does respecting a partner enough to treat them with the utmost dignity.

 

So suggesting some extracurricular sexual activity implies a lack of respect? Again I say why?

 

A while ago I did something somewhat deviant with my wife.

 

Deviant? Who defines deviancy? It's an unnecessary and inflamatory perjorative.

 

That's not love, that's exploitation.

 

You again? So having some fun is now exploitative? You sure do have some closed minded thinking.

 

Well, I'm both a guy and a husband and I think you're a sick pervert!

 

You say that like it's a bad thing. What you call perverted, other people call fun. That you would be so judgmental speaks volumes about your character.

 

To all:

Just because a certain sexual practice, regardless of what it is, does not appeal to you does not make it perverted, sick, twisted, or wrong. Stop being so damn judgmental, live your life the way YOU want to live your life, and let others do the same. Those of you who think your so-called moral superiority makes you better than others who make different choices make me sick to my stomach.

 

Peace out.

[carhill]

My wife has also been reading the posts and there was only one point that was brought up that worried her a little. That I would lose respect for her.

 

That's a reasonable concern. Explore that with her. Define some boundaries of respect. Perhaps, with this fantasy as an impetus, you might learn more about each other and grow together

 

I would exercise caution when bringing fantasies into reality. Part of the psychological draw of the fantasy is just that, the act of fantasy. Reality is often a very different dynamic and, unlike a fantasy, it's impossible to put the reality genie back into the bottle. Good luck!

[Zolar]

that the OP is a dirty old man.

 

But, why do you care what I think??? If you want to engage in a perverse practice that's fine. But, why try to convince anonymous strangers that it's okay? I think you must need this "confimation" - that it's okay.

 

Or, maybe writing about it is some kind of masturbation material in itself for you.

 

But, perverts trying to justify their actions just doesn't work on me. I've heard this same crap from all kinds of slimy old guys.

 

I still think there is something seriously wrong with you. I think you are lacking something - whatever makes human beings able to truly love. And so, you are something more animal. Animal sexuality is detached - they don't experience love. They experience an instinct or a sexual function more akin to a bodily function. That's how the OP describes his own sexuality. Sex is not an act of love, it is only an act of sex. While any of us are capable of having relationships like that, I'd say you're in trouble if that's the ONLY kind of relationship you can have. Moreoever, your wife is in some trouble she may not yet realize because she is married to a shell of a human being - an empty "thing" that is incapable of human affection, in essence, a pervert because that's how perverts are. They don't have a full range of human emotion - they have no empathy - they are self-serving narcissists and they only want what they want. Sex and the chemicals it creates in their bodies is a drug to them - like heroin. They have to have it. But, they are incapable of really bonding with another human because they lack a core.

[2sure]

When I read this post initially, I showed a friend and we laughed and laughed. Not in a bad way.

 

OP sounds as thought he feels he has DISCOVERED something. Like a new kind of sex. As if he and his wife are enlightened.

 

Like it or not, plenty of couples are just as open minded and scenerios like yours are not only common but completely acceptable among consenting adults.

 

You have just been out of the loop.

[Dexter Morgan]

I took me a long while to voice this to my wife for fear that she would think bad of me and would think I didn't love her anymore. I was right, at first she was upset because she imagined that I wanted to do this for all the wrong reasons, and none of the reasons I explained. She could not understand why on earth I would want another man to f*** her.

 

I think this has something to do with the fact that women make love to men but men have sex with women. As she explains it to me when we have sex she feels love at the same time, like sex and love are a joined emotion. This is no so for me and I suspect for most other men too. For me sex and love are two totally different emotions. For me love is holding her in my arms while we watch TV, taking care of her when she is ill, spending hours at the shops deciding what I want to buy her for a present because I want to see her face light up with delight, making her smile and feel safe, wanting her to be happy.

 

But sex for me is a separate thing.

 

So after we talked it over and talked some more she finally accepted and understood my feelings and said yes to a threesome.

 

 

Uh huh. She wanted to do it the entire time and all of that posturing you said she did was just that, posturing to make you think she didn't want it, but is only agreeing to do so because you wanted to.

 

 

She was still a little worried and a lot nervous about getting naked for another man but she was willing to give it a go. We found a stranger on a swingers site and after much correspondence with the guy we decided to meet in a public place and just talk. We all got on well and decided to take the plunge. The experience for all 3 of us was awesome.

 

During the threesome she was very nervous but had quite a few orgasms and overall we all thoroughly enjoyed it.

 

Now it wasn't all ok after it was over. We went home and I felt guilty and jealous at what had happened

 

 

Uh huh, and how did I know this was coming before even getting to this part?

 

 

but these feelings soon dissapeared. I am a very strong minded person and I had decided that no matter how I felt afterwards I was 100% sure I would never take it out on her. After a few months we tried it a few more times, sometimes with the same guy and sometimes with different guys.We always talked it over and I always asked her repeatedly if she was ok with it.

 

I wonder if she'd be ok with doing a 3some with you and another woman?

 

 

I think when she got passed the fact that this was just sex and was just harmless fun and she realised our relationship was as sound as always and that she was getting the oportunity to have a bit more fun in her life she accepted it and enjoyed it and now asks when we can do it again (she picks the guy and lets me arrange it all).

 

Now I know what some of you may be thinking, SHOCK! HORROR! The woman is a slut! I think otherwise.

 

 

But of course you do.

 

 

If you do this I willl say one thing, you must be prepared about how you will feel after because there is no going back. If you realise it was a mistake when the deed is done, tuff, you cannot turn back time. So take it slow if you are not 100% sure.

 

If one isn't 100% sure, they shouldn't do it at all. You may be ok with it, but even you have a brief fit of jealousy. I get tired of hearing all these people that say they want to open up their relationship, then whine and complain when they get jealous.

 

Or better yet, there are "rules" to an open relationship. Apparantly one of the rules is that the spouse has to agree as to who their spouse will screw. So if the spouse goes behind their back an screws them, then all of a sudden its cheating!! I have to laugh my ass off at that one.

 

Either your SO is screwing someone else, or they are not. If someone opens up their marriage and then gets all pissed off, like you said, tuff.

To bad.

 

 

We have a very strong relationship and we both love each other very much. It has rekindled our sex and we still use it as a fantasy and she now enjoys threesomes. She has learned to enjoy herself and to let go and just enjoy the sex. Now she completly understands her man and we are much happier for it and we still love each other very much and our relationship is stronger than ever.

 

Ok, so she gets to have sex with other men. What about you?

 

Something tells me that, even if she agreed to it, you having sex with other women wouldn't sit well with her even though she gets to have other men.

[elaina]

Uh huh. She wanted to do it the entire time and all of that posturing you said she did was just that, posturing to make you think she didn't want it, but is only agreeing to do so because you wanted to.

 

 

Uh huh, and how did I know this was coming before even getting to this part?

 

 

I wonder if she'd be ok with doing a 3some with you and another woman?

 

 

 

 

But of course you do.

 

 

 

 

If one isn't 100% sure, they shouldn't do it at all. You may be ok with it, but even you have a brief fit of jealousy. I get tired of hearing all these people that say they want to open up their relationship, then whine and complain when they get jealous.

 

Or better yet, there are "rules" to an open relationship. Apparantly one of the rules is that the spouse has to agree as to who their spouse will screw. So if the spouse goes behind their back an screws them, then all of a sudden its cheating!! I have to laugh my ass off at that one.

 

Either your SO is screwing someone else, or they are not. If someone opens up their marriage and then gets all pissed off, like you said, tuff.

To bad.

 

 

 

Ok, so she gets to have sex with other men. What about you?

 

Something tells me that, even if she agreed to it, you having sex with other women wouldn't sit well with her even though she gets to have other men.

 

Maybe she wouldn't care? I think that once you cross a certain "boundary" other things come easier... is that true?

 

 

I still don't understand the logic as to why a woman who loves her husband and enjoys having sex with him would want to have sex with another man/men? It makes no sense to me. It makes me sick, to tell you the truth. (Sorry, trying not to condemn here but when I love a man, the thought of having sex with another one repulses me. I only have desire for him all the time, no time or desire for anybody else!) If a woman doesn't love her husband or isn't happy in their sex life, then it's more understandable, but if she loves him, why would she want to be with someone else? I think she is probably just doing it to make him happy, which to me seems like he has issues. Maybe he wants his wife to be a porn star? I know I am judging but it is so hard not to cause it is so not normal! Sorry if I offended anybody.

 

 

If my husband wanted to have a threesome with me and another woman, I wouldn't be jealous... I'd be sobbing and heartbroken. Again, this is just how I feel... I know everybody doesn't feel the same as me

Anyways, yeah to me this thread is not about some "enlightened" discovery about a new and wonderful sex life... it's about how a man convinced his wife to have sex with other men in order to fulfill something he feels is lacking and is now trying to encourage others to do it. ?

 

I feel sorry for his wife, especially if he ever gets it into his head to have sex with other women since she is having sex with other men.