Isolde Posted December 1, 2008 Posted December 1, 2008 I don't think it's neccesarily that jobs impede relationships (though some do), because I know lots of people with great jobs AND great relationships. But I have to say my dating life has improved immensely since I left my "great" job (well, got laid off of one in March that was actually "great" high powered etc and left the decent one I had found 72 hours after getting laid off) and went back to grad school. Now, I work in a restaurant and volunteer and go to grad school--still busy--but I feel much "lighter" and "less serious." I think careers sometimes impede dating if you take them too seriously -(attitude-wise, not doing well) in terms of how they define you. And also sometimes they become an "outlet" for your energy because want a relationship but don't go out and cultivate it. But, really, I think it's easier to have a good relationship if you have more things in your life, including a good career or some sort of purpose. Maybe just me! P.S. Of course by the time I have kids, I hope to make my own hours (counseling track now). Kids are a different matter. Though I think being a working Mom is awesome and sets a great example, so I would never stop working personally. Interesting, where did you meet people to go on dates with in grad school. There don't seem to be any prospectives in my program... did you meet people via volunteering or?
berrieh Posted December 1, 2008 Posted December 1, 2008 Interesting, where did you meet people to go on dates with in grad school. There don't seem to be any prospectives in my program... did you meet people via volunteering or? No. I never meet people at school. 90% of the people in my program are women, half of them middle aged. I have met a few guys through my job (not who work directly with me, but it's the service industry, so it's one giant web). Never met guys volunteering yet. Again, a lot of ladies since it's counseling and ed. There is a cutie who runs the program I volunteer at and he flirts with me, but I wouldn't date him because I LOVE the program and I have a 50% complete failure rate (don't even wanna be friends) with dating and that would suck. Mostly, I meet guys either online, through friends, or out and about. I tend to talk to people A LOT. I've met guys at the grocery store, the park, the gym, the bookstore, etc. I met the latest boy at a bar of all places, but not the typical bar pick-up at all. I was stopping by party sponsored by a company I used to work for. I've lived in the same town for 7 years and used to work in advertising sales (outside, which meant I've knocked on the doors of half the restaurants, bars, and local retailers in this area, then in healthcare marketing so contacts at hospitals, and restaurant marketing, so contacts in the service industry)... so, I just know a lot of people. And I talk to a lot of strangers because I find people to be awesome and fascinating. I think it's feeling "lighter" and more "on track" with what I really love that is allowing me to meet more people. Having a job based on someone else's idea of success really derailed my social life a lot because it derailed my happiness. Loving what you're doing is a big turn on to most people I know, men and women!
Isolde Posted December 1, 2008 Posted December 1, 2008 No. I never meet people at school. 90% of the people in my program are women, half of them middle aged. I have met a few guys through my job (not who work directly with me, but it's the service industry, so it's one giant web). Never met guys volunteering yet. Again, a lot of ladies since it's counseling and ed. There is a cutie who runs the program I volunteer at and he flirts with me, but I wouldn't date him because I LOVE the program and I have a 50% complete failure rate (don't even wanna be friends) with dating and that would suck. Mostly, I meet guys either online, through friends, or out and about. I tend to talk to people A LOT. I've met guys at the grocery store, the park, the gym, the bookstore, etc. I met the latest boy at a bar of all places, but not the typical bar pick-up at all. I was stopping by party sponsored by a company I used to work for. I've lived in the same town for 7 years and used to work in advertising sales (outside, which meant I've knocked on the doors of half the restaurants, bars, and local retailers in this area, then in healthcare marketing so contacts at hospitals, and restaurant marketing, so contacts in the service industry)... so, I just know a lot of people. And I talk to a lot of strangers because I find people to be awesome and fascinating. I think it's feeling "lighter" and more "on track" with what I really love that is allowing me to meet more people. Having a job based on someone else's idea of success really derailed my social life a lot because it derailed my happiness. Loving what you're doing is a big turn on to most people I know, men and women! *How* do you meet people out and about? It's never worked for me. I see cuties on the bus or bus stop ALL THE TIME, but never have the nerve to say hi because I fear they'll be taken! I really think my best shot is a combination of online and meeting people randomly, because I don't have lots of friends here yet, and meeting people through school doesn't seem like an option.
CommitmentPhobe Posted December 1, 2008 Posted December 1, 2008 I made mine private a while back, anyone who was important was already on my list. Now I don't have the problem you describe or have to put up with requests from people I haven't seen for 20 years that I never got on with
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