reelbigfish Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 So in one of my stupid moments I deleted the ex as a friend on facebook (as well as all of her friends that I met through her). I haven't spoken with her since I did this and it's been about two-three weeks. I know I need to continue to avoid contact with her completely if I want to get better and yes - my ultimate goal (as of now) would be to get her back but as a backup goal I'd like to move on. My question is when would be the appropriate time to add her back as a friend? I'm extremely afraid that she will never contact me again because she will assume I hate her - which is not the case. I don't want to contact her however as I want to stay in NC. I think it's also pertinent to be honest and say that one of the reasons I want to add her back is so that she can see that other women are interested in me and that my life is going on. She lives 4 hours away and only comes back home once a month and holidays as of now. Any advice would help. Thanks.
Star Gazer Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 Whatever you do, do not add her back until you feel completely indifferent towards what's going on in her life. Keep in mind that even if you send her an add request, she might ignore/deny it...rejecting you all over again. Don't give her that opportunity. That said, if you want her to know what's up in your life while maintaining NC, just make your page public.
0hpenelope Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 Even if you added her as a friend again, there's no telling whether she'll accept it or not. Did Facebook developers make it so that when someone adds you as a friend, you can see that person's profile even if you don't confirm their friend request? I don't know, I've been away from Facebook for far too long to avoid this kind of sh*t drama and focus on life goals. Anyway. You don't want to be in contact with her, but you want her to still have the option to look into your life, right? Is that what the goal of keeping her as a friend on Facebook is? I don't know about adding her back, honestly. It's a matter of saving face now, I think. Us ladies can get mean about exes who pull off moves like that and I don't want your pride trampled on all over. Just looking out for you... To answer your question: My question is when would be the appropriate time to add her back as a friend? Just add her as soon as you can. That way, she'll have less of the "OMG, why is he being like this? What a dumbnut, he deleted me from his friends a month ago and now he wants to be my Facebook friend??? WTH?" moment. The more you prolong adding her, the more ammo she'll have to get to that scenario. Your call, but rbf? I'd rather you didn't. Just my 2 cents. Good luck with that.
Author reelbigfish Posted November 30, 2008 Author Posted November 30, 2008 I'd have to say the main goal is like I said to get her back. Facebook is a medium where she'll be able to check in on my life and see - oh hey he's going back to get his graduate degree - oh hey he has other women who are interested in him, etc. So yes so she can keep tabs on me and see that I am not sitting at home moping but that my life is continuing on and here is what you are missing.
aiina Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 Hello Reelbigfish I wouldn't add her again. I deleted my ex from my list and gota new request of him and I rejected it. Why? because I don't want him to know about me. I think that you should not send her a request, if she is interested and want to know about you, let her do the first move. Meanwhile, let her guessing what are you up to. good luck
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