BackonTrack2 Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 I kind of want to break NC, I'm healed, I doubt I can be affected on an emotional level anymore. I found out my EX was cheating on back in March so I immediately broke up with her. Kept cursing her out for like 3 weeks. We had two meetings, the first one I fired her, threw out. The second one I wanted to talk, she wanted to play games. I talked to her for another 1 week and well, my mind was going crazy, I kept thinking she was having sex with the NEW DUDE and well I couldn't take it, so I fired her. About a week later I went back and she cussed me the hell out so I started to cry like a girly man (first time she seen me cry in 1.5 years). I then sort of went mad and drove by her house and sent her an email cussing her out and she responded with "Stop Harassing Me" Anyway that was about 6 months ago, May 12, 08. The ex was having sex with someone else, which is cool but I thought we were together, but we really wasn't together, I loved her though and we were like "Datting" well atleast thats how my view-point has changed. Then we sort of drifted apart for a few months, I was traveling back and forth but I stayed in contact but like around in DEC she started denying me sex, which was cool, I figured it was some phase, at the same time she was acting funny so I just ignored it and went away again. So when I came back, I was going mad and I as like 100% in-love with her so I had to break up with her one night and she came running at like 3am in the morning, a 40 minute drive so I stripped her naked and asked if she was my baby and she said YES. That was Feb 08. Anyway come to find out, she sad the relationship was over Since July 07, but I found out in Feb of 08 of the affair + I just had sex with like 1 week before finding everything out. Anyway, its been like almost a year, I'm healed, I passed it, I sort of miss her kind of. Like today for example I was looking around my apt, and said to myself "I wonder what Ex is up to", I want to call her, I don't want to see her or anything like that or have any hopes of getting back together or nothing like that. But like it feels weird now, I know she's alive, I can't pretend she's dead, I don't want to hang out with her or miss her company or anything like that, I know I can't be with her, but just out of curiousity wondering whats up. I don't know how she would react, maybe happy, probably won't pick up, I have 100% no idea. Ah this is stupid, why should I call a girl who cheated on me and broke me to pieces, she probably forgot about me. You know its funny, a EX contacted me, it been about 8 years since I seen her and she found me on myspace. And I'm like you was thinking about me ALL THAT TIME? She says YES. I totatally 10000% forgot about her. So I asked her "WHY", she said because of how it happen, one minute you were HERE and then you just vanished so she always been wondering. Anyway I hope thats not me at this current moment in time, then again the reason I never thought about her is because I had 100% no feeling for her back then or at this current time. You know in the END when I last seen her, she was acting upbeat and happy and sure as hell was not thinking about me, she had moved on mentally, I seen it, her heart still loved me though, she was with someone nwe and was in love with him. That still bothers me. Only slightly, I guess its best if I don't contact her, I still feel SOMETHING, still not over it I guess. I guess if I am thinking about breaking NC, I still feel something huh, and for a girl who threw me away, like that, chances are, I am the last thing on her mind. Yeah I won't wisk it, she'll probably just act COLD.
0hpenelope Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 I guess if I am thinking about breaking NC, I still feel something huh, and for a girl who threw me away, like that, chances are, I am the last thing on her mind. Yeah I won't wisk it, she'll probably just act COLD. I'd go with this, bro. Seriously though, "Damned if you do; damned if you don't." If I were in your position, I wouldn't go looking back to the past; but if you're okay now, then it shouldn't be that big of a deal. Nothing she does will phase you - not seeing her, not talking to her, not hearing about her new life with someone else. Go for it. But be careful.
Author BackonTrack2 Posted November 30, 2008 Author Posted November 30, 2008 Yeah, your right. Its not worth it. I am kind of oscillating back and forth in regards to my feelings. I think the EX is almost out of my heart. Almost nothing left. I kind of feel sorry for her in a way. I think I hurt her with my words, yeah I know I did, I seen it in her eyes, brings chills to me still. I hope she got pass everything, I don't know, I know it took me a while and I got over it. Whomever that new dude was, must of been ****ing her brains out. Really confused her. Wow that last line, sort of hurts, I suppose the truth does hurt. Now I'm back to calling her a whore, lol that damn whore. I miss her. I need a blowjob.
Surfer Dude Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 I suggest you don't contact her. Nothing good comes out of that. Your pride will be shattered to pieces, and even if she does reply, she'll most like just use that chance to treat you like sh*t and have revenge on you. Been there, done that. I was treated like total crap after I contacted her in the past. Don't break NC. She's not thinking about you, she has moved on. She doesn't care bro, if she did care, she wouldn't cheat on you in the first place and leave for another guy. Keep your pride, move on and find someone else who will appreciate you. Don't let hurt ego make you dig around past, it brings nothing good.
Author BackonTrack2 Posted November 30, 2008 Author Posted November 30, 2008 Yeah your right. That last time I contacted her after I threw her out. I wish I wouldn't of. It broke me. Took 8-9 months to recover. You are right now that I think about what you just said. She did use it as an opportunity to treat me like **** and get revenge. Its almost like she was waiting for it. Damn reality is kicking in again, it was over so long ago. That whore was using me for money. Oh well, atleast I got some pussy out the deal. Damn that girl was scandalous. Damn I turned into a girly man.... Damn... She was nice though, won't take that away from her, young minded too, but the sex was great it was worth it. The relationship ah, there was no relationship. U know she was right. I wonder why it took me like 9 months to get over things. Thats a long time. I am not even mad anymore. Its almost like it never happen, my mind blocked her, is blocking her, I don't think it wants me to remember.
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