shadowplay Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 This doesn't apply to me but somebody I know (I swear! ) Is it appropriate for a girl who has a boyfriend to eat out with her male housemate on a Saturday night if her boyfriend is out of town (they split the tab)?
Nemo Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 That sounds a lot like cheating. Did they use separate straws with their super-sized coke?
Gremio Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 If they are actual roommates, I don't see harm in it. They may be friends.
berrieh Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 This doesn't apply to me but somebody I know (I swear! ) Is it appropriate for a girl who has a boyfriend to eat out with her male housemate on a Saturday night if her boyfriend is out of town (they split the tab)? Yes. Why wouldn't it be? Goodness, if the boyfriend is fine with her having a male housemate, I cannot imagine him caring. I still eat out with the boys when I'm in a relationship. Men and women can be friends.
Isolde Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 In a pub or for sushi? Sure. In a candle-lit French restaurant? Maybe not.
Green Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 Yes. Why wouldn't it be? Goodness, if the boyfriend is fine with her having a male housemate, I cannot imagine him caring. I still eat out with the boys when I'm in a relationship. Men and women can be friends. she said housemate... so maybe I'm reading into this to much but does that mean she is eating with the guy next door? And did she ask her bf if it was ok... cause seriously I doubt a girl would like a guy she was dating spending saturday nights with a girl when shes out of town.
Nemo Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 Men and women can be friends. :lmao: More, please. More!
berrieh Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 Nemo, are you laughing at me? I have many male friends. (Even lived with two of them for a time, so had male roommates as well.) I don't see the point in excluding potential friends from my life based on gender. I thought a housemate was a roommate? Is it? Why does the night of the week matter? Or the fact that her boyfriend is out of town? It's eating together. It's not like they're doing something inherently romantic. I mean, maybe if it were a night of dinner, wine, and dancing, that'd be weird. But if she has male friends, the boyfriend should feel secure with that.
Green Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 I thought a housemate was a roommate? Is it? Why does the night of the week matter? Or the fact that her boyfriend is out of town? It's eating together. It's not like they're doing something inherently romantic. I mean, maybe if it were a night of dinner, wine, and dancing, that'd be weird. But if she has male friends, the boyfriend should feel secure with that. well the OP of this thread is a female, and I'm not sure what you are but if I was dating a girl I would probably all ready be annoyed by the fact her room mate was a guy and it would only be more anoying to know they go on saturday night outings togather when I'm out of town.
berrieh Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 well the OP of this thread is a female, and I'm not sure what you are but if I was dating a girl I would probably all ready be annoyed by the fact her room mate was a guy and it would only be more anoying to know they go on saturday night outings togather when I'm out of town. Well, I'm a girl, and I guess I expect my SO to trust me. (I happily introduce boyfriends to my male friends, of course, so it's not like there's any secrets!) I've trusted males with female friends. I actually like to date guys who have female friends... It's like having character references. But you make a good point that its 'appropriateness' is entirely in the eye of the beholder, and her boyfriend is the real authority on that!
SushiX Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 This doesn't apply to me but somebody I know (I swear! ) Is it appropriate for a girl who has a boyfriend to eat out with her male housemate on a Saturday night if her boyfriend is out of town (they split the tab)? This depends on what they're eating. If they're eating each other then NO.
missdependant Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 In a pub or for sushi? Sure. In a candle-lit French restaurant? Maybe not. rofl.. good call.
Green Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 This depends on what they're eating. If they're eating each other then NO. haha That joke went through my head too
Trialbyfire Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 That's a pretty brief description so here goes the questions: Does the housemate and the girl, have any past or current, sexual or romantic history?Are there any issues between the housemate and the b/f?Were there any agreements struck, standing or specific to, between the b/f and the girl in reference to appropriate behaviour while he was gone or when he's not around?As previously mentioned by another member, what kind of restaurant and ambience, are the two going to?Does the girl have a past history of cheating on the b/f or anyone else?Does the b/f have issues with past history of being cheated on?I'm sure I missed some pertinent questions but there's a few that need to be answered.
MN randomguy Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 That's a pretty brief description so here goes the questions: Does the housemate and the girl, have any past or current, sexual or romantic history?Are there any issues between the housemate and the b/f?Were there any agreements struck, standing or specific to, between the b/f and the girl in reference to appropriate behaviour while he was gone or when he's not around?As previously mentioned by another member, what kind of restaurant and ambience, are the two going to?Does the girl have a past history of cheating on the b/f or anyone else?Does the b/f have issues with past history of being cheated on? I'm sure I missed some pertinent questions but there's a few that need to be answered. All good points, Normally, I wouldn't think anything of it depending on circumstances as Isolde and SushiX brought up. But, the fact that you're posting means that it is an issue. Maybe a sore spot. If he's offended, just say you didn't realize it was that big of a deal. Then you talk about what's acceptable for your relationship. Simple.
movingonandon Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 In a pub or for sushi? Sure. In a candle-lit French restaurant? Maybe not. That's all there is to it. From your description, the situation sounds a bit fishy: apparently there is some advanced planning (huh?), they;ll be alone (y no other friends?) and the plan is for saturday night - primetime for loooooove. It doesn't sound like a quick bite on the way home. I'd be mildly annoyed if my girlfriend did this and perhaps would feel compelled to discuss the boundaries of sais friendship/cohabitation.
Author shadowplay Posted November 30, 2008 Author Posted November 30, 2008 To answer people's questions -- it was a Chinese place, not sure how fancy but probably within a reasonable price range. The girl and her housemate have a platonic relationship. Her bf tends to get jealous easily, and he flew off the handle when she told him about the dinner. She has never cheated on him. Don't know what his relationship history is.
Nemo Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 To answer people's questions -- it was a Chinese place, That seals it - they probably shared dishes. Talk about dining promiscuously!
Storyrider Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 That seals it - they probably shared dishes. Talk about dining promiscuously! Casual dining doesn't necessarily lead to other casual activities...unless they are like Lady and the Tramp and end up slurping each end of the same piece of chow mein.
SoulSearch_CO Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 I don't see why not as long as the BF is okay with it. But then, I couldn't be involved with a guy that would get jealous over something so stupid.
nittygritty Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 If this girl's boyfriend had a female housemate that he went to dinner with on Saturday night while she was out of town would she be okay with it?
berrieh Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 and the plan is for saturday night - primetime for loooooove. If someone is going to cheat, I very much doubt they're influenced by the day of the week.
Trialbyfire Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 If this girl knew her b/f was the jealous type, why would she tell him about it afterwards, instead of calling him before it happened?Have the two ever sat down and discussed why he's so jealous? It sounds like it's time to discuss what has caused his issues and what is acceptable behaviour between the two of them.People sometimes tweak their partners jealousies and insecurities deliberately, for selfish reasons. Sometimes they don't even know why they do it but the resulting reaction from the partner fills them with strange satisfaction.
CandyGirlXO Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 If they already live together, why is them going out to dinner together the issue?! He should be more concerned about the fact that they are roommates LOL! It was dinner NO BIG DEAL, people have to eat, might as well eat with someone else.
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