SushiX Posted November 29, 2008 Posted November 29, 2008 Lets say you really like someone but they don't feel the same and you want more than just friendship with them. Do you persistently pursue. Have you been pursued? How has this worked out for them or you? For those who become unavailable by ignoring emails, texts, calls, in hopes that the other person likes them, how has this worked for you? Did the other person ever come to their senses and go out with you or did that person become unavailable too? I'm curious about the success rate and stories for both of these. Because I'm in a situation where I'm not sure wether to pursue or become unavailable.
portcitykitty Posted November 29, 2008 Posted November 29, 2008 My bf persistantly pursued me for a long time! It seemed like it was love at first sight for him! I wasn't trying to play hard to get or anything, I was just unsure for a while cuz I was just coming out of a relationship with somebody else, plus I'm just extremely shy. I debated and debated for months while he chased me; he didn't give up, and neither did I. Finally one day, randomly, he reached over and just kissed me on the cheek, and I was hooked from then on! I can't remember when it was we first met, but the chasing started that day we met and lasted for a few months. We officially started hanging out Jan. 08 and we're still together, going strong. So far, I'd say it's been pretty successful!
berrieh Posted November 29, 2008 Posted November 29, 2008 Lets say you really like someone but they don't feel the same and you want more than just friendship with them. Do you persistently pursue. Have you been pursued? How has this worked out for them or you? For those who become unavailable by ignoring emails, texts, calls, in hopes that the other person likes them, how has this worked for you? Did the other person ever come to their senses and go out with you or did that person become unavailable too? I'm curious about the success rate and stories for both of these. Because I'm in a situation where I'm not sure wether to pursue or become unavailable. If they have already said they don't feel the same, pursuing won't work. Becoming unavailable might, but ignoring texts/calls/etc is just plain rude. Being mostly unavailable, but responding with the bare minimum would be the course of action I'd choose if you really are insistant on pursuing this... It "worked" for me with one guy, but honestly, I wish it hadn't. The relationship was not good and I never felt "secure" in it. Neither would work on me if I'd said I wasn't into it. Ignoring me just makes me either annoyed (if it's rude) or "meh" if it's just distant. I like to be pursued...but not by someone I've told not to pursue me.
BlueEyedGirl Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 If I'm really into a guy, then nothing he did would turn me off, If he pursued I'd love that and if didn't, I would pursue him. If I'm moderatly into a guy and he became unavailable, I would just assume that he wasn't all that into me either and forget about him. If he pursued I would give him few more dates and see if I feel more as I get to know him. If I'm not into a guy than either pursuing or becoming unavailabe won't work. If he pursued I would think he is a creepy stalker and if he didn't I would be hugely releived.
DollWelch Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 I say: Pursue. I know how it feels to be hesitant, but in the end, you should do what you feel is right for you. IF you are wholeheartedly attracted and in-like with the woman, then pursue her. Don't hold back. In the end, you'll know that you did whatever it took in your power to win her over.
Capricciosa Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 Becoming purposely unavailable is trying to engage the other person's insecurities--its a manipulative way to try to get them to like you (though sometimes it works). If someone is on the fence about you, a little bit of courtship might bring her closer to your side. If she's not interested at all, then nothing will work. But if you really like her, why not risk it? If it doesn't work out, so what, but if it does
spookie Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 If I'm really into a guy, then nothing he did would turn me off, If he pursued I'd love that and if didn't, I would pursue him. If I'm moderatly into a guy and he became unavailable, I would just assume that he wasn't all that into me either and forget about him. If he pursued I would give him few more dates and see if I feel more as I get to know him. If I'm not into a guy than either pursuing or becoming unavailabe won't work. If he pursued I would think he is a creepy stalker and if he didn't I would be hugely releived. What she said. I pretty much know how it's going to pan out with someone when we first meet - if not, it's usually immediately after I get a better read. Their actions typically have little to do with my feelings.
CommitmentPhobe Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 Lets say you really like someone but they don't feel the same and you want more than just friendship with them. Do you persistently pursue. Have you been pursued? How has this worked out for them or you? You're better off pursuing people that like you. Otherwise you're wasting your energy.
Author SushiX Posted November 30, 2008 Author Posted November 30, 2008 You're better off pursuing people that like you. Otherwise you're wasting your energy. Well if she likes me then there's no need to pursue anything. Everything would be fine and dandy. And I don't think it would be wasting of energy if she ends up with me.
CommitmentPhobe Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 Well if she likes me then there's no need to pursue anything. Everything would be fine and dandy. Exactly so why not just find someone that likes you!
Author SushiX Posted November 30, 2008 Author Posted November 30, 2008 Exactly so why not just find someone that likes you! Sometimes it doesn't work this way just like in this case.
Recommended Posts