Im thinking this is the best forum for this post

[Cat66]

Before I go into the current situation that brought me here, I thought I would share a bit of who I am and how I perceive myself to operate on relationship levels.

 

My last serious relationship ended officially 6 years ago, and it took over a year to really get over it and come to a place free of pain and heartache. I followed all the rules, played all the games, he came back several times only to finally leave for good. We are friends now.

 

 

But working through that the right way not only helped me reach a place where I was NOT vulnerable to just any man who payed attention to me, it allowed me to be very selective. The sad thing is it would be a very long time before I would find anyone attractive or exciting to me. I was starting to wonder if the loss of who I felt was my one true love completely killed all ability to ever be aroused by the opposite sex again.

 

Until I met Him. It was almost 3 years ago. We lived in the same condos, and it just happened that we met at the pool. I was intstantly attracted to my own amazement.

 

We started seeing eachother very intimately soon after and I fell hard. about a month and a half later he sat in front of me very upset and crying told me his ex gf had announced she was 3 months preg, and he had to do the right thing and make it work for the child. They got married, and I saw him a few times after, excuses on both our parts just to say hi, or a wave in passing in the parking lot. They moved, and he never left my mind.

 

I knew in my heart of hearts that if they broke up before, then the odds of it truely working out were slim to none.

 

A year ago I found his profile on myspace and shot him a message asking if he was still happilly married. He didnt log in for a year, and to my surprise I recieved a message from him a month ago. ET He has been divorced since August.

 

We started seeing eachother again, and all the same feelings for me were still there strong as ever.

 

But I kept it cool, it was very easy for me to be a mystery, because I just didnt feel the need to offer up anything personal that wasnt asked. We kept it light, I let him do the initiating, although I would send text next day saying I enjoyed our time together.

 

But this last time, (it will be 2 weeks on tuesday) I knew instinctively when he got up for work something was wrong. But it didnt hit me until thursday.

 

The day after he left I sent him a sexy picture I had taken on my phone, and no response. I broke all my own rules and texted asking if he didnt like the picture. He wrote back sorry I did, just been really busy. Kids are sick etc. I responded that I understood and hope they are feeling better soon. Havent contacted him since, havent heard from him since.

 

 

I just dont understand how someone can just walk away when not pushed. So I am left to assume he is definately NOT into me.

 

 

I find myself reading page after page on site after site reading into everything to suite my assumptions. But it is all irrellevant as long as what I am creating in my head and not the reality that if he desired me my phone would be ringing.

 

My question is, if a guy finds a girl attractive, easy going and drama free to spend time with, why not call her anymore?

 

A part of me still expects a phone call, and I hate that.

 

 

I really miss him and really want to call. Remind me why NOT to call please

[Jenny123]

Don't call him as someone who also tends to be on the receiving end of relationships- If he wants u, he knows where u are. If he can't see how great u r, he's not ur guy-someone else is- someone betterx

[Cat66]

Thank you Jenny, I find myself intermittently throughout the day reaching for the phone finding excuses, then WHAM! I remember how pathetic and desperate that comes off. It only boosts their ego to know we are thinking of them. GRRR!

[DSM-IV Tom]

Who knows whats going on in the other end. (His life).

 

Having those kids could be making him mentally unsure whether or not he wants to be with their mother. Having kids can and should generally be a tricky situation. (I say should, because if you are a loving person, then you want to do what you think is best for THEM always).

 

Either that, or I could quote what my names named after. DSM-IV. He could have a psychological problem that compels him away for no reason. Could be anything from avoidant personality disorder, to anything. You should focus on yourself, you may be dodging a bullet here.

[Cat66]

I understand the kid situation, and possibly thoughts of going back although they werent spoken.

 

I am divorced with two kids. So I understand. Neither of us ever tried to see eachother on our days with our kids, so the understanding was definately there. Unspoken, understood, but there.