alwayssme Posted November 29, 2008 Posted November 29, 2008 I know nobody in here is a mind reader but I was just wondering. Last time I talked to him I was crying and telling him I missed him and all that stuff. He just acted cold so after that I decided not to call him. Then I bumped into him randomly and we talked for a little. It has been almost 3 weeks now and I haven't contacted him. I wonder what do they think we're feeling? Do they think we've moved on or we're just hurting and decided to leave them alone? God, I want to call him sooooooooooooo bad. I have been feeling like crap lately just at the thought of never having him in my life. Know that this wasn't just my "boyfriend". He was the man I loved and was best friends with for so long. It hurts too damn much to have him out of my life!! But I don't have the courage to call him (he probably wouldnt even pick up, thats sad).
EmperorR Posted November 29, 2008 Posted November 29, 2008 Who cares what they think? I'm sure its a mix of finally they stop bothering me and I wonder what they are up to. My ex would send me some dumb text messages, like on what would have been 3 years she text me asking me back for a 2 dollar notebook. After like 35 days of NC on what would have been 3 years, like the day has any symbolic relevance to her. I felt like texting back ya it would have been 3 years you cheating whore. But for real, if they really scared what you were thinking they would call at least.
LittleDove Posted November 29, 2008 Posted November 29, 2008 They think you are not calling them. That you are out there living your life- like they are. If they are not calling you-they are not thinking of you when you go NC. NC is not a game, its a way of healing. Try not to think about what they may or may not be thinking. It is a waste of time. Just live. And let live. And let go...
TeaAbraham Posted November 29, 2008 Posted November 29, 2008 I think the whole point of NC is not knowing what they're thinking. I know how bad you feel, but I don't think knowing what he's thinking will make you feel any better, honestly. It doesn't really matter. It only matters what you're thinking. Which is not about him! Right? The only thing that will make you feel better is moving on. Good thing you didn't send that text message to her Emperor! Would have been more than she deserved.
0hpenelope Posted November 29, 2008 Posted November 29, 2008 I know nobody in here is a mind reader but I was just wondering. Last time I talked to him I was crying and telling him I missed him and all that stuff. He just acted cold so after that I decided not to call him. Then I bumped into him randomly and we talked for a little. It has been almost 3 weeks now and I haven't contacted him. I wonder what do they think we're feeling? Do they think we've moved on or we're just hurting and decided to leave them alone? God, I want to call him sooooooooooooo bad. I have been feeling like crap lately just at the thought of never having him in my life. Know that this wasn't just my "boyfriend". He was the man I loved and was best friends with for so long. It hurts too damn much to have him out of my life!! But I don't have the courage to call him (he probably wouldnt even pick up, thats sad). What he might be thinking about: "It's the weekend. I wonder what I'm going to do today." It doesn't do well on anyone to think about the negatives. No one likes thinking about something that makes them angry/sad/whatever negative feeling. Just as you wish you weren't thinking about this anymore, he's made it a reality for himself. Best to start thinking about yourself now than thinking about what he's thinking. None the sooner to take care of yourself.
Trialbyfire Posted November 29, 2008 Posted November 29, 2008 I wonder what do they think we're feeling? You can guess and guess and guess and 90% of the time, be wrong. Only they know what they're thinking and feeling. Reliant on what happened to cause the breakup, they might not be thinking about you at all. Take the emotion you're feeling and focus it towards strengthening resolve and moving on. It's an almost giddy feeling when you've moved on and aren't mired in negative and painful emotions.
Surfer Dude Posted November 29, 2008 Posted November 29, 2008 Who cares what they think? I'm sure its a mix of finally they stop bothering me and I wonder what they are up to. My ex would send me some dumb text messages, like on what would have been 3 years she text me asking me back for a 2 dollar notebook. After like 35 days of NC on what would have been 3 years, like the day has any symbolic relevance to her. I felt like texting back ya it would have been 3 years you cheating whore. But for real, if they really scared what you were thinking they would call at least. Every time I went NC my ex would text me after a while, and just like yours, she'd ask for something totally dumb and irrelevant. She broke NC 3 times, these were the reasons: 1. Complained to me that she had been branded an "Asian bitch" because she gets all the handsome guys, while other women don't and thus they are jealous 2. Wanted me to help her download a torrent movie 3. Wanted me to teach her native language of her new boyfriend As you can all see, dumb and retarded excuses to contact a man whose heart she broke into million pieces, plus the 3rd one is extremely hurtful. Good thing I told her to get lost, stuff like this would've kept going on for ages otherwise. EDIT: Almost forgot, she also contacted me to help her find some cheap air tickets for her and her new boyfriend.
Peter_pan Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 Every time I went NC my ex would text me after a while, and just like yours, she'd ask for something totally dumb and irrelevant. She broke NC 3 times, these were the reasons: 1. Complained to me that she had been branded an "Asian bitch" because she gets all the handsome guys, while other women don't and thus they are jealous 2. Wanted me to help her download a torrent movie 3. Wanted me to teach her native language of her new boyfriend As you can all see, dumb and retarded excuses to contact a man whose heart she broke into million pieces, plus the 3rd one is extremely hurtful. Good thing I told her to get lost, stuff like this would've kept going on for ages otherwise. EDIT: Almost forgot, she also contacted me to help her find some cheap air tickets for her and her new boyfriend. man she is stupid. its sad how people change
sedgwick Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 Almost forgot, she also contacted me to help her find some cheap air tickets for her and her new boyfriend. What the hell? Hasn't she ever heard of the internet?
RecordProducer Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 We don't have to be mind readers; we have been in those shoes,too (at least some of us). I would say it depends on the closure that preceded the NC. I had an ex who wanted to marry me and gave me the ultimatum; I chose breakup, but we continued to see each other. At one point, I hooked up with someone else (one of his friends whom I later married) and stopped seeing him, but less than a month after my hook-up, HE hooked up with my hair-dresser, whom he later married. Actually, she was his neighbor and sort of friend and she only did my hair once. My new BF (his friend, my then-future-now-ex husband ) informed him that we were in love, he was very mad and hurt (even though he already had a new GF); we met with him once and talked, didn't end things in good terms and that was it. Neither my ex-husband nor I ever contacted him, nor did he contact any of us. I think it's pretty clear from the situation and the closure how he felt and what he was thinking: he suffered because he lost a friend (that he told us) and he tried to move on, although I can't say with certainty that he was broken hearted because of the break up with me. I think this guy had an agenda and wanted to use my former step-father financially and business-wise. But, he named his son the same as I named mine (he knew it was my favorite name) and I don't know if this was for emotional reasons or he just liked the name. Another ex wanted to marry me also and I kinda strung him along and finally chose another guy over him (my current husband). At one point he was very disappointed and hurt and went NC. Curiously, he also had a new GF already. I know how he felt: he was still in love, very hurt, and angry. My point is that you should approximately know how your ex-gone NC feels by knowing how they felt about you. Applying the same logic, your ex knows how you feel even though you're doing NC. If they broke your heart with the breakup, they know you're suffering. The thing is, after a while, if you keep NC, and they don't have any information as to what you're doing, they might start wondering if you've moved on and/or are dating someone else. On the other hand, if a man knows that you loved him and were hurt when he dumped you, he tends to think that you'll always be waiting for him - until he finds out that you're involved with someone else seriously.
Vince Black Posted December 1, 2008 Posted December 1, 2008 We don't have to be mind readers; we have been in those shoes,too (at least some of us). I would say it depends on the closure that preceded the NC. I had an ex who wanted to marry me and gave me the ultimatum; I chose breakup, but we continued to see each other. At one point, I hooked up with someone else (one of his friends whom I later married) and stopped seeing him, but less than a month after my hook-up, HE hooked up with my hair-dresser, whom he later married. Actually, she was his neighbor and sort of friend and she only did my hair once. My new BF (his friend, my then-future-now-ex husband ) informed him that we were in love, he was very mad and hurt (even though he already had a new GF); we met with him once and talked, didn't end things in good terms and that was it. Neither my ex-husband nor I ever contacted him, nor did he contact any of us. I think it's pretty clear from the situation and the closure how he felt and what he was thinking: he suffered because he lost a friend (that he told us) and he tried to move on, although I can't say with certainty that he was broken hearted because of the break up with me. I think this guy had an agenda and wanted to use my former step-father financially and business-wise. But, he named his son the same as I named mine (he knew it was my favorite name) and I don't know if this was for emotional reasons or he just liked the name. Another ex wanted to marry me also and I kinda strung him along and finally chose another guy over him (my current husband). At one point he was very disappointed and hurt and went NC. Curiously, he also had a new GF already. I know how he felt: he was still in love, very hurt, and angry. My point is that you should approximately know how your ex-gone NC feels by knowing how they felt about you. Applying the same logic, your ex knows how you feel even though you're doing NC. If they broke your heart with the breakup, they know you're suffering. The thing is, after a while, if you keep NC, and they don't have any information as to what you're doing, they might start wondering if you've moved on and/or are dating someone else. On the other hand, if a man knows that you loved him and were hurt when he dumped you, he tends to think that you'll always be waiting for him - until he finds out that you're involved with someone else seriously. okay damn!!! that's a mouthful
9Lives Posted December 1, 2008 Posted December 1, 2008 On the other hand, if a man knows that you loved him and were hurt when he dumped you, he tends to think that you'll always be waiting for him - until he finds out that you're involved with someone else seriously.[/b] This story was bizarre! Anyway, yeah my ex know I still love him so he is just coasting his ass around and I am cool with that. I dont care anymore. I just saw his car a few minutes ago and I was fine. Even though my heart is there I really feel like this is no longer worth my time. I am strong enough to accept that things are not going to work between us even though I wanted it so bad. I did everything I could to try to keep our love alive and my sanity at the same time. I wanted him back but I dont see that happening. He wants to be friends and hang out with each other. He does not want to be enemies or hurt me but he want to do his own thing. I am working to accept that. I been there for him so many times. Not this time.
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