bentnotbroken Posted November 29, 2008 Posted November 29, 2008 First of all, let's clarify something. I am D&D Free and so is he. Second of all if the marriage was so wonderful, then not me, you or anyone can break up something that is happy...their marriage was damaged way long before I came along. She destroyed her marriage years ago not by 1 A, but by 2 As. I didn't wreck their marriage, I just came along with the broom and dustpan... I don't think anyone said you were the cause of their marital problems. It is clear that wasn't the case. He had some major issues and she has some anger (which I understand all too well) issues. So because she did the wrong thing, he felt it was okay to add another wrong to the mess, brilliant isn't he. All I addressed was you calling her behavior childish without addressing your own childish behavior. It's kind of like the pot calling the kettle black. You are right it looks like you more than willing to take up the trash.
Author SierraRose Posted November 29, 2008 Author Posted November 29, 2008 Did I act childish? No. Selfish? Yes.
signedin2008 Posted November 29, 2008 Posted November 29, 2008 He said I MADE THINGS TOO EASY FOR HIM! I told him what he needed to here, gave him the love and affection he desired. I'm like umm, u found me, u drove to my home, u initiated the romance..not me. He said NC and as long as he is married, he is not available. ... I agree. You were easy. You invited a married man to stay the night with you AT YOUR HOUSE and then you had sex with him THAT NIGHT. How much easier can one get?
pelicanpreacher Posted November 29, 2008 Posted November 29, 2008 Um, well how do you think I came up with that in the first place? Trust me, PP, I'm looking alright. PS: NSA= "no strings attached" Goody, goody, goody, goody, good, good, good, good, good!
Author SierraRose Posted November 30, 2008 Author Posted November 30, 2008 Well Signed, let's put this in perspective here. I was not some woman he met on the internet or at a bar and took him home. That's easy. I also have never been involved with a MM or any man that was in a relationship. He did some serious background checking to find me. He sought me out. He drove 1500 miles, and he had the option to stay in a hotel. If you think doing all that homework, months of emails and phone and traveling that far is easy? He took the most comfortable road. My MM was not a stranger but a beloved, close friend and love from the past with some major history.
wildsoul Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 My MM was not a stranger but a beloved, close friend and love from the past with some major history. Which is exactly why your story is so sad. I'm sorry that you got betrayed in that way. He led you on, then did a 180-degree turn on you. The disappointment must have hurt like hell.
Author SierraRose Posted November 30, 2008 Author Posted November 30, 2008 BTW, we spent two weekends together. The second weekend I drove up to his sister's house in NY. MM and I spent time with his sis and brother-in-law. He TOLD them everything. He said to them he was in love with me and has been for many years. They knew for a long time he was miserable in his marriage. His sister and brother-in-law ARE PULLING FOR US. They want to see us together. His sister made a comment to MM and her H.."There goes the next Mrs. Bxxxxx." A week before last contact with MM, she called me. She relayed a mesage from MM-his feelings for me have not changed, please be patient. I am not just some easy piece..there is so much more to the story.
Tryin2movepast Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 I am new here and don't have a lot of advice to offer right now but just wanted you to know that you are not alone. Our story have some similarities, then again most of them do. I too felt that this man tracked me down when I was the most vulnerable, just to destroy my life. I remember asking him what did I do besides love him to make him hate me so much. I no longer care the what or why. I know he is toxic and want him out of my life.
Author SierraRose Posted November 30, 2008 Author Posted November 30, 2008 My MM did not track me down to intentionally destroy my life. I think he sought me for his own selfish reasons. He is a good man, but made some really bad choices without thinking of the consequences.
pelicanpreacher Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 BTW, we spent two weekends together. The second weekend I drove up to his sister's house in NY. MM and I spent time with his sis and brother-in-law. He TOLD them everything. He said to them he was in love with me and has been for many years. They knew for a long time he was miserable in his marriage. His sister and brother-in-law ARE PULLING FOR US. They want to see us together. His sister made a comment to MM and her H.."There goes the next Mrs. Bxxxxx." A week before last contact with MM, she called me. She relayed a mesage from MM-his feelings for me have not changed, please be patient. I am not just some easy piece..there is so much more to the story. I sense from this post that you still harbor hope for a future with MM and are seeking advice on how to reingratiate yourself into his life. Though there may be more of this story as yet untold, I still see the same endgame to this melodrama as it concludes with your completely broken heart after what will feel like a lifetime wasted on lies. Good luck!
Author SierraRose Posted November 30, 2008 Author Posted November 30, 2008 PP, I could reintegrate into his life, but I do not want to. I love and care for him deeply; however, I am not going to let my emotions rule my life. I post here to maybe get more understanding about the situation, that's all. I will go on with my life-as far as I am concerned MM is still just that...M. Although, I care, I am not putting my life on hold for a currently non-existent relationship. I am focusing on myself and my son, that's it. He could show up on my doorstep next week, telling me he left her, or I may never hear from him again. I can not life my life on someone's time. What will be will be...
pelicanpreacher Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 PP, I could reintegrate into his life, but I do not want to. I love and care for him deeply; however, I am not going to let my emotions rule my life. I post here to maybe get more understanding about the situation, that's all. I will go on with my life-as far as I am concerned MM is still just that...M. Although, I care, I am not putting my life on hold for a currently non-existent relationship. I am focusing on myself and my son, that's it. He could show up on my doorstep next week, telling me he left her, or I may never hear from him again. I can not life my life on someone's time. What will be will be... Is the candle to remain lit and the door to remain open?
Author SierraRose Posted November 30, 2008 Author Posted November 30, 2008 The only way he would show up on my doorstep is if he left his wife. HE KNOWS BETTER OTHERWISE.
Tryin2movepast Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 My MM did not track me down to intentionally destroy my life. I think he sought me for his own selfish reasons. He is a good man, but made some really bad choices without thinking of the consequences. I have an AA friend who use to say that she was still single because all "the good black men" were in prison. One day I pointed out to her that "good men" don't do the things that usually result in prison time. I also noted that prison was created to house "bad men" not "good men". She got it the first time.
NoIDidn't Posted December 2, 2008 Posted December 2, 2008 I have an AA friend who use to say that she was still single because all "the good black men" were in prison. One day I pointed out to her that "good men" don't do the things that usually result in prison time. I also noted that prison was created to house "bad men" not "good men". She got it the first time. Good one. Who thinks that there are good men in prison anyway?
Author SierraRose Posted December 3, 2008 Author Posted December 3, 2008 In retrospect, this is where I stand. I do love my BFF, but not to the extent of compromising myself of an A. I will not settle or deserve to be 2nd best. His W does not deserve to be lied to. He needs to make the choice as to what it is that makes him happy and I love and support him enough to say I want to see him content, for whatever he decides to do. I respect and encourage NC; however, I am sad to think it would be for lifetime. Whatever will be will be. In the meantime, I am not waiting for the phone call, the unexpected show up.. Who knows...if and when he does? I hope he doesn't expect me just to be available and ready. I am going on with my life. He could, in fact, be setting himself up for a complete downfall...
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