EmperorR Posted November 29, 2008 Posted November 29, 2008 how long did it take you to forgive and move on? it's been 3 months, and I still struggle daily:(
UnamedSeven Posted November 29, 2008 Posted November 29, 2008 For me... Never really forgave. I'm faced with it today, ironically, when it happened nearly 8 months ago. She still insisted on being friends, and it has been supplying my life with total havoc. I found it hard to actually 'move on' but "time heals all wounds". Although, it just lowered the pain to a certain degree. My advice, just don't look back. Cherish the memories, and make way for the new and more, brighter ones.
TeaAbraham Posted November 29, 2008 Posted November 29, 2008 God, am I really going to forgive her some day? That will be an interesting sensation. I am not sure if it's going to happen though. I am still moving on, slowly but surely. Chug-ah Chug-ah. It's been almost 2 months. I am not feeling as much pain on a daily basis anymore, but I have also numbed my mind quite a bit. I am not the thinker I used to be. My goals and aspirations have been shattered, and my motivation to succeed in life subdued. I am not in anguish, but I am not who I used to be. I feel alright being alone now, but it hurts to know that she is out there being happy with someone else. I am in the process of recovering that man I was before. I have taken many steps forwards emotionally and so far as relationships go, but I have taken many steps backwards in terms of my work, studies, and goals in life. I think every person will have a different time-line for moving on based on the situation. When will you know you have moved on? Maybe one day you will just realize that you have. I will for sure know that I have moved on when I see another woman and I see something truly special in her eyes. But I know I will have moved on before that day comes. I think it will be hard to say exactly when you move on. The process is long and hard, but one day you will just know that you have. Where are you at now emperor?
replicator Posted November 29, 2008 Posted November 29, 2008 I don't know.. I thought I forgave her, but I think I was fooling myself to believe that I could let it go. I hate to think of myself as a victim. If you really loved someone, and they cheat on you - it cuts very deep. I struggle with it all the time. It's hard to cherish memories when you look at it through the lens of being cheated on by that person. It sort of tarnishes everything you shared, and that is what makes it so difficult to really forgive.
Teuen101 Posted November 29, 2008 Posted November 29, 2008 I was cheated on twice and forgave both times and never brought it up while we we're together b/c she asked me to never bring it up.. I hurts something i'll never forget- I feel like crap and then think boy i bet she is happy! anyway all the forgivness for nothing all that love for nothing - what a waste of time
Trialbyfire Posted November 29, 2008 Posted November 29, 2008 Some of you guys are still pretty fresh out of it and others, been in that terrible place a long time. It will go away, maybe never completely but the pain does go away. What you may find is that you'll be a lot more cautious in the future, before giving your heart away. This isn't such a bad thing as long as you don't allow it to embitter you. I wouldn't recommend cherishing the good memories though. Just let those memories go, just like letting your exes go, the way of the dodo where they belong.
BackonTrack2 Posted November 29, 2008 Posted November 29, 2008 Its going to take you a while to get pass it, many many months. I forgave her a long time ago in my head and I didn't allow myself to hate her. It was ruff at first, but time has a way to heal all wounds. Took me about 7-8 months. I can't say I think about it anymore really, well I do, but its a passing thought, I guess the way I cope with things is by telling myself, it wasn't meant to be. Fate has a different plan for me. Its hard though, I still cry but not because of the cheating, because we are not together anymore and I really loved her, kind of like I mourn a dead wife or something. I know in life I am never going to get that back so it saddens me slightly. But hey, what can you do, got to keep moving. Time waits for no man. Thats where I am in regards to my recovery. I am out of the hospital bed, asking myself "what happen dude" and realizing that I am alone again. I can't give much advice pass this, but I do realize that when I am in communications with girls whom I find sexually attracting and or can give me good conversation, I tend to forget completely about the EX, look at this event like it isn't a big deal. But I have not entered in a relationship after this event but based on prelimanary observations, once I do find that someone, I don't think I will remember anymore. I am at the last stage now, looking for someone to start a new with.
replicator Posted November 29, 2008 Posted November 29, 2008 Its going to take you a while to get pass it, many many months. I forgave her a long time ago in my head and I didn't allow myself to hate her. It was ruff at first, but time has a way to heal all wounds. Took me about 7-8 months. I can't say I think about it anymore really, well I do, but its a passing thought, I guess the way I cope with things is by telling myself, it wasn't meant to be. Fate has a different plan for me. Its hard though, I still cry but not because of the cheating, because we are not together anymore and I really loved her, kind of like I mourn a dead wife or something. I know in life I am never going to get that back so it saddens me slightly. But hey, what can you do, got to keep moving. Time waits for no man. Thats where I am in regards to my recovery. I am out of the hospital bed, asking myself "what happen dude" and realizing that I am alone again. I can't give much advice pass this, but I do realize that when I am in communications with girls whom I find sexually attracting and or can give me good conversation, I tend to forget completely about the EX, look at this event like it isn't a big deal. But I have not entered in a relationship after this event but based on prelimanary observations, once I do find that someone, I don't think I will remember anymore. I am at the last stage now, looking for someone to start a new with. Similar situation as you. Sometimes I think I'm getting over it, yet other times I break down. I did really love her - she was like my other half for so long. The last thing I would have expected from her. I am hoping to move on soon as well - but I realize I'm still quite sore from all these. When I try dating, I feel like I'm picking at a scab that hasn't quite healed. Good to hear that you're getting over it - I'll be there eventually.
UnamedSeven Posted November 29, 2008 Posted November 29, 2008 Your not a fool Backontrack. To be honest, is anyone, perfect? absolutely not. does anyone, want to be perfect? of course. We all screw up. We are all human, but in different ways. We all see the world as our "Oyster" and you only allow certain people in it. You only paid the price of seeing her fall. Which, is definetly worth seeing!. The day will come, when she will truly, love someone. She will get destroyed on the inside and be left with nothing. She may think of you, but she only cares about herself. Trust me, she WILL feel the pain.
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