Author Fun2BMe Posted November 29, 2008 Author Posted November 29, 2008 Fun, I've been following your life on LS for several years now. You've had so many horrible situations in your life that you have reacted to by withholding the truth, flat out lying, and/or decieving the people you said you loved. I would think you, out of all people in the world, could understand when someone else withholds something from you. It's not your child. You had no right to know. Just as whoever the previous guy was didn't know that you (thought) were pregnant and decided not to tell him or the guy you cheated on him with. You even seriously contemplated passing off the kid as your bf's knowing it wasn't his, if you recall. Even when your actions directly affect the person you are with.. i.e. cheating on a bf and getting pregnant with another man's child. You still wouldn't tell the people you loved about your actions. Yet you're hurt that your bf didn't tell you about something that does NOT directly affect you. You are not the child's mother, and never will be. He did not owe you the truth on this matter. So, Fun... you can play the victim in this game, or you can accept that the guy didn't feel it was any of your business to know he had a kid. Personally, you had no right to know. It is still none of your business. It's his child. If he chose to tell you about the kid, then you could attempt to see it as a good sign that he does believe your relationship can work, or you can piss it away by sulking and acting like a spoiled brat. Up to you. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'D THINK THAT WAY ABOUT ME - WHATEVER. After everything I've been through - you label me as a liar just because I was TEMPTED to tell someone it was his baby - not that I would've....but nothing else I've done matters to you I guess. I'm sad to hear you think so lowly of me. Anyways, I like your advice SoulSearch.
portcitykitty Posted November 29, 2008 Posted November 29, 2008 Wow, see, that kind of thing I don't get. You're in a similar situation as me for sure, but I don't understand how you can be so patient about finding out more. I mean what if he's a dead-beat dad who refuses to pay child support and hasn't seen his own daughter? It's not like he's still 10 years old! YOu have listed SO so many excuses to justify everything!! Maybe you can contact the girl and not mention you know her dad to get some info. What if she's told her dad is also dead and that she's been adopted or something crazy??? That's really wrong. I'll admit, I'm guilty of making excuses for the people I care about in my life! I seriously doubt he doesn't pay child support...he works his ass off, and I wouldn't see why he would for the few bills he has to pay...he's gotta be paying child support, for sure. I know this guy is a good guy, I don't see him being a dead-beat dad, and so what if he is, it's not my business, I'm not the mother of the child. He's told me some things about his past, and he's got skeletons in his closet like a lot of other people, and I'm trying not to worry about it, cuz it's in the past (Hakuna Matata! haha). And about contacting the girl or anybody out that way, I could not do that! It's none of my business, and knowing my luck, he'd find out and all hell would break loose, and I cannot afford that right now! I'm trying to go by what Walk said (and I know you're upset with her right now, and I'm sorry), about how it doesn't directly affect me, that I'm not the child's mother, and never will be, that he doesn't owe me the truth on this matter; I'm trying to accept that he might not feel that it's any of my business to know that he's got a daughter somewhere out there, at least right now. Maybe one day he'll feel the need to tell me. Like I said before, I don't know the situation, and I'm not going to judge him, and it's none of my business, plain and simple.
Walk Posted November 29, 2008 Posted November 29, 2008 you label me as a liar just because I was TEMPTED to tell someone it was his baby I said, and I quote exactly from my previous post, "seriously contemplated".
Author Fun2BMe Posted November 29, 2008 Author Posted November 29, 2008 I'll admit, I'm guilty of making excuses for the people I care about in my life! I seriously doubt he doesn't pay child support...he works his ass off, and I wouldn't see why he would for the few bills he has to pay...he's gotta be paying child support, for sure. I know this guy is a good guy, I don't see him being a dead-beat dad, and so what if he is, it's not my business, I'm not the mother of the child. He's told me some things about his past, and he's got skeletons in his closet like a lot of other people, and I'm trying not to worry about it, cuz it's in the past (Hakuna Matata! haha). And about contacting the girl or anybody out that way, I could not do that! It's none of my business, and knowing my luck, he'd find out and all hell would break loose, and I cannot afford that right now! I'm trying to go by what Walk said (and I know you're upset with her right now, and I'm sorry), about how it doesn't directly affect me, that I'm not the child's mother, and never will be, that he doesn't owe me the truth on this matter; I'm trying to accept that he might not feel that it's any of my business to know that he's got a daughter somewhere out there, at least right now. Maybe one day he'll feel the need to tell me. Like I said before, I don't know the situation, and I'm not going to judge him, and it's none of my business, plain and simple. How can you not care if he's not paying child support just because you're not the mother? Is that the type of person you want to be with? If he doesn't provide/care for his own flesh and blood, do you think he will for you? Maybe you do and will make excuses for it becasue your head is in the clouds, and I say that in all due respect because you need a serious wake up call...
Author Fun2BMe Posted November 29, 2008 Author Posted November 29, 2008 I said, and I quote exactly from my previous post, "seriously contemplated". So you're keeping a score card I don't think that's the rules to play by here.
portcitykitty Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 How can you not care if he's not paying child support just because you're not the mother? Is that the type of person you want to be with? If he doesn't provide/care for his own flesh and blood, do you think he will for you? Maybe you do and will make excuses for it becasue your head is in the clouds, and I say that in all due respect because you need a serious wake up call... I have a huge feeling that he does pay child support. And I'm pretty sure he makes an attempt to see her when he visits home. He might even talk to her on the phone a majority of the time. I do know this guy is a good guy, and I'm not just saying that cuz my head is in the clouds. And seriously, I do not know the situation, so I'm not going to pass judgement on him...I'll let the Big Man Upstairs handle that!
Walk Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 So you're keeping a score card I don't think that's the rules to play by here. July 29th 2008 I started seeing my ex again and couldn't be more miserable. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t159871/
Recommended Posts