adover Posted November 28, 2008 Posted November 28, 2008 So my girlfriend and I had a break up, before then we were seeing eachother every day and all was good but we had a fair few arguments. Since getting back together she says she wants freedom and her own space, which I've agreed to just to keep her happy. However I'm starting to feel like it's a bit too much for us. We've been together for 11 months and the space she wants seems a bit of, well, a joke to me. I saw her last night for the first time since we broke up and we got on really well again and all was good, she's told me she's going out tonight with her girls which I don't mind with, but now she's decided I wont be seeing her til monday! I said I was gonna go out tomorrow night with my mates, she was invited if she wanted but she was like "no, dont worry, I'll see u after the weekend". It wouldn't bother me but I feel like I've gone from being in a full on relationship to being in a casual see u when I want to see you arrangement. I don't mind playing the game with her (as it seems that's what she's doing) but she's also not telling her family that we're back together either until "she's sure we'll work"... but how are we supposed to work if she does her own thing to the extent where I feel that I'm just someone she sees when she's got nothing better to do? It just seems to me like she's trying to move away from me which is making me think I should just dump her now and move on
SushiX Posted November 28, 2008 Posted November 28, 2008 You don't need to dump her, just leave your options open. It seems like that's what she's doing. So go talk to other girls.
online dating Posted November 28, 2008 Posted November 28, 2008 Don't feel sad about her. just ask her frankly what the opinion on you.does she likes you or not. if she doesn't likes you means don't feel and move on.still you have lots of future.
axisdenied Posted November 28, 2008 Posted November 28, 2008 I saw her last night for the first time since we broke up and we got on really well again and all was good, she's told me she's going out tonight with her girls which I don't mind with, but now she's decided I wont be seeing her til monday! I'm sorry but I wasn't paying attention to the date. You saw her what? Tuesday? Monday? Dude, slow down. Give her space. Are there not more interesting things you can be doing in the meantime? "I want some space" is usually code for "Whoa! You're like . . . waaaaaaaay too into me right now." Her getting back together or staying with you is a good sign. Don't mess things up by not being good to you in the time between meetings with her.
berrieh Posted November 28, 2008 Posted November 28, 2008 I saw her last night for the first time since we broke up and we got on really well again and all was good, she's told me she's going out tonight with her girls which I don't mind with, but now she's decided I wont be seeing her til monday! I said I was gonna go out tomorrow night with my mates, she was invited if she wanted but she was like "no, dont worry, I'll see u after the weekend". If I have the dates correct: You saw her Wednesday.She had plans Thursday w/ the girls.You had plans Friday w/ the boys. (Sure, she was invited, but maybe she doesn't wanna hang out with your mates on that particular night---nothing wrong with that.)That leaves Saturday and Sunday, but it's a holiday weekend, and she might have stuff she wants to do or catch up on in her own life. And she said, of her own accord, what she needs is SPACE. Perhaps what you felt was proper time together in a relationship was suffocating her, and that's why she broke up with you. Then she realized, she liked you and wanted to work things out, and that the only issue was she felt like she didn't have her OWN life. If you really want the girl: Let the girl have her own life, as long as she isn't seeing other guys. Seeing each other 1-2 times per week is still healthy, if you're communicating. However, if you want a relationship where you see the girl every day or every other day and she tags along with you and your mates and she doesn't spend as much time cultivating her own, indepedent life, as this girl is saying she wants to, then you have to face that this girl is telling you that's not who she is. And go from there. Your choice. But, really, from Wednesday to Monday isn't that long, especially since you had plans one night, too.
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