Prodigy Posted November 28, 2008 Posted November 28, 2008 I'm curious to hear if anyone here is involved in a 3-way relationship with two bi girls. I'm a straight guy in my mid 20's and I've been with my bi girlfriend for two years now. We have an amazing relationship and I don't think we've had a single fight in all of our time together, and we're pretty much together 24/7 (we even work at the same company). We are very adventurous sexually. We've had a few one night stand threesomes with other girls we met clubbing, but nothing serious. Recently, we met a really cool girl and have been sleeping with her for the past month (2-3 times a week). We both really like this girl and always want to spend time with her, even outside the bedroom. We're even considering inviting her to move in with us. Besides having the most amazing 3-way sex on daily basis, an added benefit is that we could possibly even get a much nicer place (maybe even 3-bedroom not far from ocean ) since the combined income of the 3 of us would be over $100k. My concern is that.. although my girlfriend seems to really like this girl now, but would she get jealous if we add her to the relationship? Also, the whole thing is kind of weird and unconventional, so I guess we should not disclose this to family/friends? Also, what if the new girl wants to get a gf/bf sometime in the future (or possibly just have sex with someone else)? If she's going to be living with us and be our girlfriend, I would want her to be committed and want us all to have mutual trust as I have with my girlfriend for the past 2 years. Does that sound reasonable? She did say that she only wants to be with us.. but I guess you never know. If anyone is in a similar situation or wants to give advice on how to make this work, that would be appreciated
Geishawhelk Posted November 29, 2008 Posted November 29, 2008 I think people think you're trolling. Recently, we met a really cool girl and have been sleeping with her for the past month (2-3 times a week). We both really like this girl and always want to spend time with her, even outside the bedroom. We're even considering inviting her to move in with us. ..... My concern is that.. although my girlfriend seems to really like this girl now, but would she get jealous if we add her to the relationship? Or she could break up with you, and hit it off with this other girl. Or you could. All maybes, what ifs, and perhaps. Such is life. Also, the whole thing is kind of weird and unconventional, so I guess we should not disclose this to family/friends? That's up to you 3. You know your families best. But I'm sure people are good at maths and will put one + one + one, together at some point Also, what if the new girl wants to get a gf/bf sometime in the future (or possibly just have sex with someone else)? Well why shouldn't she? You don't own her or her emotions. That's really none of your business. If she's going to be living with us and be our girlfriend, I would want her to be committed and want us all to have mutual trust as I have with my girlfriend for the past 2 years. Tough. You can't lay down rules like this, because the relationship is beyond conventional. If you don't want certain things to happen, don't even start this. She can do what she wants and you have no right to lay down the law otherwise. She's a free agent. Does that sound reasonable? She did say that she only wants to be with us.. but I guess you never know. Exactly. You never know. It's a gamble you'll have to be ready to take. Suck it up.
SoulSearch_CO Posted November 29, 2008 Posted November 29, 2008 Yeah...this does kinda have a whiff of B.S.
LittleDove Posted November 29, 2008 Posted November 29, 2008 I think I may have wet myself laughing! Oh what an issue, and what man with THIS going on has TIME for the internet????:rolleyes:
SoulSearch_CO Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 I think I may have wet myself laughing! Oh what an issue, and what man with THIS going on has TIME for the internet????:rolleyes: :lmao:LMFAO. Yeah, you have double-duty, get back to work, man!
MN randomguy Posted November 30, 2008 Posted November 30, 2008 I think I may have wet myself laughing! Oh what an issue, and what man with THIS going on has TIME for the internet????:rolleyes: That's what I thought too. If any of this is true, That the H-E-L-L makes you think that guys on a relationship question site know anything you don't. Sorry, last time I was in a situation like that I woke up, "problem" over.
Author Prodigy Posted December 3, 2008 Author Posted December 3, 2008 haha I swear I'm not trolling guys.. I'm asking this here because I can't talk about this "problem" with my family and close friends, I don't think they would quite understand. I appreciate Geishawhelk's straightforward (although a little harsh) advice. I know I can't make her do anything, I just want everyone to be happy so we can continue having a great time. If everyone is happy, its all good, right? Basically the only major problem I'm seeing is how to make my girlfriend not jealous, while simultaneously not make the other girl feel inferior or left out, so that we are able to continue this 3way relationship without drama. I really want my gf to think of the other girl as just "friend/roommate with benefits" and not that she is my "2nd girlfriend". Basically my gf doesn't want the other girl to be on the same level as her I guess... which is totally cool with me as long as we're all still sleeping together. This is sometimes a little hard to do since the other girl always like to PDA with me and always hold my hand when we're walking, etc.. not sure if my gf is ok with that, although gf does some PDA with new girl too. Sometimes we would even do a 3way makeout in public (which is completely hilarious since everyone around is looking at us with the "WTF" expression lol)! I just somehow know that if we'd all be living together, everything would fall into place and this would be a long-term thing with commitment from every party involved. Why do I want commitment from new girl? Simple: commitment = no drama = everyone is happy. In addition, if she's sleeping around, there is potential for us getting STD's. I better not **** this up somehow.. opportunities like this don't come very often P.S. I do have some time on the internet right now since the new girl is not living with us yet and we only do her on the weekends.. but hopefully that will soon change and you guys won't be see me posting too often
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 So you want the second girl to commit to you so that there will be no drama. Yet you also want the second girl to have "second wife" status (to borrow a phrase from the polygamists) wherein she will be relegated to the Friends with Benefits role. I cannot imagine a woman being satisfied with that. Eventually she will want more, and the drama begins (cue the violins). The key to satisfaction for the second girl is to be able to be the "hot new property". It makes her feel good to be so wanted/desired by this couple that they want more and more of her. But that role is necessary for her ego and moving her into a more commited realtionship, yet one that gives her lesser status, will ruin that. Get it ? Your gf's ego is satisfied by being "the one" and the other chick's satisfaction comes from being "the hot new one". Any changing of these roles will only serve to stir up the pot.
zenith Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 don't worry, bro most likely your GF and the other girl will hook up and leave you.
Jersey Shortie Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 No doubt both these ladies are scoring some extra sausage on the side. No woman is satsified with being the only loyal one in the relationship while her tool bag of a boyfriend wants to bring other women into the picture. Unless she is a Mormon and has been brain washed by religious zelots.
Geishawhelk Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 Also, what if the new girl wants to get a gf/bf sometime in the future (or possibly just have sex with someone else)? If she's going to be living with us and be our girlfriend, I would want her to be committed and want us all to have mutual trust as I have with my girlfriend for the past 2 years. No, I'm sorry, you cannot expect, demand or require this. I know I can't make her do anything, I just want everyone to be happy so we can continue having a great time. If everyone is happy, its all good, right? Well, the way to run it is to commit to your GF and make it clear to the 'new girl' that she is a player in your relationship with your GF. What she then does, is up to her. And if that means finding a different attachement, that's what makes her happy. Basically the only major problem I'm seeing is how to make my girlfriend not jealous, while simultaneously not make the other girl feel inferior or left out, so that we are able to continue this 3way relationship without drama. Impossible. There is ony one way to make your girlfreind not jealous, and that is to let her completely dictate the terms of this liason. That way, you are playing completely to her terms, and she gets to make all the decisions. Then she can't accuse anyone of making her jealous. This is sometimes a little hard to do since the other girl always like to PDA with me and always hold my hand when we're walking, etc.. not sure if my gf is ok with that, although gf does some PDA with new girl too. Fine for now.... Just see how it transforms in a few months......Nothing, but nothing ever stays the same. Sometimes we would even do a 3way makeout in public (which is completely hilarious since everyone around is looking at us with the "WTF" expression lol)! And that's another really great way to not bring it to friends' and family's attention....! I just somehow know that if we'd all be living together, everything would fall into place and this would be a long-term thing with commitment from every party involved No, you don't know this. you hope this, you wish this, you even assume this. but trust me. 'Know', is not the right term here. . Why do I want commitment from new girl? Simple: commitment = no drama = everyone is happy. In addition, if she's sleeping around, there is potential for us getting STD's. I better not **** this up somehow.. opportunities like this don't come very often You're not going to get it. There's nothing to say you have a right to it, or that she would be honest or happy that way anyway. You should all, as a matter of course, get yourselves tested right from the beginning, even before sleeping together. And not touch one another until you get the results through. P.S. I do have some time on the internet right now since the new girl is not living with us yet and we only do her on the weekends.. but hopefully that will soon change and you guys won't be see me posting too often 'We only do her on the weekends'.......? What kind of a thing is that to say about someone you hope to make an equal in your relationship...!! We only do her.....! That must be one of the most disrespectful things I've read. I'm sure it was unintentional and just a slip. But it indicates strongly where your subconscious is. In your pants. I'd recommend you don't even think about doing this, frankly.
Jilly Bean Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 I most certainly DO think you can make it work! Those that would say otherwise are most likely too repressed and uptight to envision such an arrangement being successful. You've raised some good questions, and I think you should get the girls together and discuss it all as a group. The only real responses that matter are the ones from the women involved. My *one* concern for you, which may be unfounded, would be the jealousy factor. I would imagine that would be the hardest part to negotiate. I have friends who are a lifestyle D/s couple (married for 15 years), who have a live-in submissive (man). Of course, a bit of a different scenario since it adds the BDSM element you don't have, but still, the three of them have their rules, arrangements, and have been living together happily for many years. I know this has been accomplished through a lot of open dialogue, and ongoing communication.
2sure Posted December 3, 2008 Posted December 3, 2008 I have some hands on experience with this. My H and I have had lots of 3somes with other girls. I know plenty of other couples with the same interests. I have female friends who are also bi that we have and have not "played with". When I was single, I met a few couples I liked a lot. EVERY bi girl that enjoys couples finds it a HUGE pain in the as* when a couple expects them to be exclusive to them. Its something we complain about. And every couple wants a bi girl to join them whenever they want because girls like this can sometimes be hard to come by. In fact, in swingers circles, they are called Unicorns. Sure, everything seems fine initially if the single woman is not in the mood for dating (or other couples or other women) . Most open minded single bi women are enjoying the OPTIONS. Thats what makes them fun, unique, and hard to come by. Even if by chance the three of you have this fantastic relationship: You have clearly stated that you are not looking to add the committment of another girlfriend to the mix. You are looking for a steady 3some and extra rent money from her. And on her end - she has to accept this noncommittment and further - be completely yours. You are offering her nothing. Wake up.
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