Meeting up with the Ex (Unfortunately)

[4by4]

Hi guys,

 

I would really appreciate your input on this.

 

Basically I broke up with my ex of 4 years just 2 weeks ago. We had an up and down relationship but it was generally pretty satisfying. Although the past 12 months our love fizzled. We didn't break up on bad terms, it was just the mundane daily life that ate up our passion.

 

My ex had been doubting our relationship for a while so it was no surprsie when she proposed a long "break" (6 months to a year). I tried been friends for a day, went out together, had a great time but she still wanted to continue the "break", I didn't take it very well because she was enjoying herself as my friend and hanging out with me yet she didn't want me as a BF. So instead of agreeing to been friends and going on a break, I decided to break it off. I told her we were no longer friends and I prefered to leave her out of my life.

 

Anyway, I am due to see my ex next week for a concert (we both paid good money), possibly also at a party afterwards. We will be accompanied by 2 mutual friends which helps the situation a bit. I think my ex also wishes for me to drive her home afterwards (which will be one on one time).

 

I'm getting a bit nervous about it as it's the first time we would have spoken to each other and met up. The only other time she contacted me was when I booked in a holiday and she messaged me to tell me shes happy for me after finding out through friends. I didn't bother replying back.

 

I feel like I'm moving on nicely and I could certainly leave this relationship in the past but seeing her may make me feel vulnerable again. In a way, I'm not completely over her and I have NOT even decided 100% I no longer wanted to try again with her! But I feel like sticking around her and been a friend would only hurt me down the track and I wouldn't be able to move on completely.

 

So I guess my question is - should I see her? How should I act? Should I offer to drive her home afterwards because in a way that's the time we could have a proper conversation about the future? Should I even bring up the topic of our relationship?

 

I'm confused

[Geishawhelk]

Remember what Eleanor Roosveldt Said:

 

"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent."

 

I'm not suggesting that your ex- is making you feel inferior - but substitute that word for the feelings you have, and the result is the same.

 

Your confidence, self-worth, dignity and self-esteem are within you to demonstrate.

Daft as it may sound, change the way you stand, walk and look at people.

Starighten your back, relax your shoulders and don't hunch your back, walking, standing or sitting.

Wear a smile.

Not a great big manic-weird-looking grin, but just practise smiling at people, when you pass them, or speak to them.

 

And every now and then, shake your shoulders and drop them. Relax them, and take a long slow deep breath in, and a slightly longer slower breath out. 2 or 3 times.

 

You will be astounded at the difference this makes.

 

Truly.

[BikerBeagle]

Truthfully, I wouldn't even go. Why would you even want to put yourself in this situation?

[mark982]

as you said, you don't want to be friends. let her find her own way home. you owe her nothing.when you do see her don't let on that the break is bothering you.

[4by4]

Thanks to everyone who replied.

 

Guess I'm just a little nervous the meet up might stir up old feelings. I have been doing so well these last 2 weeks.

 

I will go as pulling out only makes me look bitter. I'll be courteous without really engaging her and after the concert I'll hopefully just turn up at the party with my mate and do my own things. Definitely NOT driving her home.

 

I will be putting on a happy face, dress sharp and try not to let her enter my head. Might be difficult, who knows, guess "fake it till you make it" is the approach I'm taking.

 

No point in talking about our relationship, I don't want to be friends with her either. Acting positive and happy with my single life is the biggest statement I could make anyway.

[4by4]

I have simply decided not to go.

 

I will cop the $200 loss. Rather avoid the pain.