OCCDAVE Posted November 28, 2008 Posted November 28, 2008 Today is suppose to a nice day of stuffing my face with turkey but its not.Today marks a full week i have gone nc and 2 weeks since ive seen my ex.What hurts me we were fine one day we hung out and bam the next day stay out of my life.Just like that she threw 2 years away.Im sitting here eating and stopped cause i broke down.Shes coming monday to return my stuff ill try to stay out of sight.I am taking this hard im only 25 but this is the only gf ive had and shes taking it so easy going out and about did i really mean that little.What stings even more i didnt even get a happy thanksgiving and she said we cant even be friends sigh.
Left in a Lurch Posted November 28, 2008 Posted November 28, 2008 After 2 years if you mean that little to her, you deserve a lot better. She is not worth you breaking down, and you should dig out the leftovers and enjoy your T-day meal knowing that you are lucky you don't have to spend another minute on someone that could show such little respect. You don't want a woman like that in your life.
movingonandon Posted November 28, 2008 Posted November 28, 2008 well, all i can tell you is that you're in for a painful rollercoaster that will last at least 3 months (If you're lucky). It's a process. Don't try to short-circuit it, let it run its course. One day you will wake up and you will be fine. You will even be able to slightly miss the pain you're feeling right now.
whichwayisup Posted November 28, 2008 Posted November 28, 2008 You have no idea why she has broken up with you? No, you can't be friends, not for a very long time - Until you feel nothing romantic for her and don't care too much about what she is thinking and feeling when it comes to you. I don't recommend pushing any sort of friendship, casual or otherwise. Heal first. Sorry you're feeling crummy on such a yummy day..(Just trying to make you smile.) Try to eat though - Don't let her ruin your meal! (Easier said than done, but try anyway)
shockandawed Posted November 28, 2008 Posted November 28, 2008 I am sorry you are going through this. The good news is you have found a great group of people to help you during this time. I came to this board two years ago after the breakup with my fiance. It was the week of Christmas and I remember how similar I felt during that Christmas meal as you did today. It's going to hurt for awhile and thats ok. You are following the single best bit of advise you can get and that is following strict NC. No, you can't be friends with her. A far wiser poster once told me that you can only be friends with a serious ex when you can hear about their sex life and not feel any emotions. Don't be around there on Monday and if she attempts any contact, please don't respond. I can't tell you how liberating that can be. It took me a long time to get to that point, but once I did, the healing really started. Funny, now my ex will attempt to IM every once in awhile and I feel absolutely nothing. Time and distance does wonders. Use this period in your life to learn about and improve yourself.
RecordProducer Posted November 28, 2008 Posted November 28, 2008 After 2 years if you mean that little to her, you deserve a lot better. True and... Time and distance does wonders. Use this period in your life to learn about and improve yourself....true.
Author OCCDAVE Posted November 28, 2008 Author Posted November 28, 2008 You have no idea why she has broken up with you? No, you can't be friends, not for a very long time - Until you feel nothing romantic for her and don't care too much about what she is thinking and feeling when it comes to you. I don't recommend pushing any sort of friendship, casual or otherwise. Heal first. Sorry you're feeling crummy on such a yummy day..(Just trying to make you smile.) Try to eat though - Don't let her ruin your meal! (Easier said than done, but try anyway)She said something along the lines of the fighting became to much and she couldnt hold on anymore and she needed space and she is done.What hurts me even more thursday the day before this all fell apart her kids and i were making the gift list and they kept calling me daddy and stuff .I took these kids as if they were my own and talked about them highly timing wise this sucks cause i want nothing more then to see their faces on christmas day.I keep holding out she will come back but its doubtful shes deleted every trace of me on her myspace,facebook and so on then blocked me for whatever reason.Thing is i know her kids have asked where have i been lord knows what she has told them.Sigh im no angel by any means but you got a guy here whos willing to raise 2 kids who belong to someone else and never once complained isnt that what a single mother wants ?
motive2002 Posted November 28, 2008 Posted November 28, 2008 It gets better Dave. It really does. I went through the same phase. Lost about 20 lbs because I couldn't eat or sleep. There is a light at the end of this tunnel. Hang in there!
SushiX Posted November 28, 2008 Posted November 28, 2008 She said something along the lines of the fighting became to much and she couldnt hold on anymore and she needed space and she is done.What hurts me even more thursday the day before this all fell apart her kids and i were making the gift list and they kept calling me daddy and stuff .I took these kids as if they were my own and talked about them highly timing wise this sucks cause i want nothing more then to see their faces on christmas day.I keep holding out she will come back but its doubtful shes deleted every trace of me on her myspace,facebook and so on then blocked me for whatever reason.Thing is i know her kids have asked where have i been lord knows what she has told them.Sigh im no angel by any means but you got a guy here whos willing to raise 2 kids who belong to someone else and never once complained isnt that what a single mother wants ? Sounds like maybe she met somone new. It's called Monkey disease. Many women have this. It's normal. No worries though, you're not alone. Many people have gone thru this and we're here to help. Keep us updated.
berrieh Posted November 28, 2008 Posted November 28, 2008 She said something along the lines of the fighting became to much and she couldnt hold on anymore and she needed space and she is done.What hurts me even more thursday the day before this all fell apart her kids and i were making the gift list and they kept calling me daddy and stuff .I took these kids as if they were my own and talked about them highly timing wise this sucks cause i want nothing more then to see their faces on christmas day.I keep holding out she will come back but its doubtful shes deleted every trace of me on her myspace,facebook and so on then blocked me for whatever reason.Thing is i know her kids have asked where have i been lord knows what she has told them.Sigh im no angel by any means but you got a guy here whos willing to raise 2 kids who belong to someone else and never once complained isnt that what a single mother wants ? That sucks about the kids. I remember meeting 2 of my mom's boyfriends (one, we just had dinner with, and he was blah-boring; he didn't last long, and one was my step-father, who was awesome...I can't imagine if my mom had broken up with him after 2 years; it would have been very sad indeed). And it makes me question what kind of woman she is if she'd let you be so involved in her kids lives when she wasn't really committed to you for the long haul. Sorry you're hurting. Hope things get better. Break ups suck.
Author OCCDAVE Posted November 28, 2008 Author Posted November 28, 2008 That sucks about the kids. I remember meeting 2 of my mom's boyfriends (one, we just had dinner with, and he was blah-boring; he didn't last long, and one was my step-father, who was awesome...I can't imagine if my mom had broken up with him after 2 years; it would have been very sad indeed). And it makes me question what kind of woman she is if she'd let you be so involved in her kids lives when she wasn't really committed to you for the long haul. Sorry you're hurting. Hope things get better. Break ups suck.Thats the thing up untill last thursday all was well.She even told me can you come with us to pick up our sons candy he ordered .We did and she was like guess what our son wants you to play santa for his school this year we really do love you and so on.Then like i said next day comes and bam stay out of our lives i need space.I keep getting puzzled cause it makes no sense this change overnight .She also admit to me she use to like this one guy steve but he doesnt want to take care of 2 kids so they would never work.Since our breakup shes been spending at least once a week with him kinda looks like he's moving in .Im just lost like i said one day your calling the kids our and talking about popping the question next day your telling me you need space and your done.Finally i didn't even get a happy thanksgiving that must be a sign i dont mean crap.
mortensorchid Posted November 28, 2008 Posted November 28, 2008 Sorry to hear that you are going through this. We've all been there. You will be happy someday, just not now. Hang in there, you'll be ok.
SushiX Posted November 28, 2008 Posted November 28, 2008 She also admit to me she use to like this one guy steve but he doesnt want to take care of 2 kids so they would never work.Since our breakup shes been spending at least once a week with him kinda looks like he's moving in .Im just lost like i said one day your calling the kids our and talking about popping the question next day your telling me you need space and your done.Finally i didn't even get a happy thanksgiving that must be a sign i dont mean crap. Dude, she's been talking to this Steve guy way before your breakup. Sorry but this is probably true. Once a women feels she has a better deal then she'll let you go. If Steve wants her now she would drop you just like that. She's still deciding now, actually probably waiting for Steve to decide. After that all hell is gonna break loose. Be prepared!
Author OCCDAVE Posted November 28, 2008 Author Posted November 28, 2008 Dude, she's been talking to this Steve guy way before your breakup. Sorry but this is probably true. Once a women feels she has a better deal then she'll let you go. If Steve wants her now she would drop you just like that. She's still deciding now, actually probably waiting for Steve to decide. After that all hell is gonna break loose. Be prepared!Well she has known him way longer then she has with me but then why bring me in this was she trying to fill a void or something till he came around or what.What do you mean all hell will break loose anyway like i said in a span of a month shes seen me maybe twice and him maybe 6 times including today so looks like even if at first he wasnt ready for kids it may be changing right?
SushiX Posted November 28, 2008 Posted November 28, 2008 Well she has known him way longer then she has with me but then why bring me in this was she trying to fill a void or something till he came around or what.What do you mean all hell will break loose anyway like i said in a span of a month shes seen me maybe twice and him maybe 6 times including today so looks like even if at first he wasnt ready for kids it may be changing right? All hell's gonna break loose when she tells you the Truth about things. Looks like she hasn't told you much yet. Just be prepared. Hope for the best but expect the worst!
Author OCCDAVE Posted November 28, 2008 Author Posted November 28, 2008 All hell's gonna break loose when she tells you the Truth about things. Looks like she hasn't told you much yet. Just be prepared. Hope for the best but expect the worst!If she does come back is it safe to assume her plan b didn't work
SushiX Posted November 28, 2008 Posted November 28, 2008 If she does come back is it safe to assume her plan b didn't work But would you really want her back after that? The sad part is you probably would..but deep down inside you know it won't last long after something like this happens. This is the beginning of the end.
Author OCCDAVE Posted November 28, 2008 Author Posted November 28, 2008 Thats the thing i dont think i will take her back it would just be nice to see if she comes back something i have done many times when we have fought.I wonder when the truth will come out after steve has made up his mind or after they have sex if that hasn't happen already.I kept saying from the start i saw something with them yet she kept saying your just way to jealous there is nothing there sigh.
You'reasian Posted November 29, 2008 Posted November 29, 2008 Thats the thing i dont think i will take her back it would just be nice to see if she comes back something i have done many times when we have fought.I wonder when the truth will come out after steve has made up his mind or after they have sex if that hasn't happen already.I kept saying from the start i saw something with them yet she kept saying your just way to jealous there is nothing there sigh. S'up Dave. Go for a good long run or swim, build up an appetite and go to town!
Author OCCDAVE Posted November 29, 2008 Author Posted November 29, 2008 S'up Dave. Go for a good long run or swim, build up an appetite and go to town!I've been trying to get out even if its just for a drive or something but its not easy at all.So if she does come monday avoid her right cause i wouldn't even know what to say.
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