Trialbyfire Posted December 2, 2008 Posted December 2, 2008 A great way to tell what? All it tells is that the guy gets upset and annoyed when his gf artificially restricts sex for a whole month. Most *normal* guys would get mad in that situation, not just "users". Playing games can backfire, that's all this proves IMO.Keep reading mental_traveller. This arsehole has cheated on her before.
mental_traveller Posted December 2, 2008 Posted December 2, 2008 She showed him that she was feeling used. The second bolded comment means he agreed to it. To use my standard phrase, there were no victims in this. He's an adult. He can say no. Instead, he said yes and found a way to cheat on her. Very disturbing. She didn't show him she was feeling used, because that's not what she told him. If she wanted to show that, she'd have said "Hi - I'm feeling used by you because we have sex. So I don't want to have sex with you for a month, that way I will find out whether you are with me for reasons other than just getting sex." She said nothing of the kind. Instead, she just said she gave him too much pussy. That's nothing remotely close to what you claimed she said. Imagine if your bf/husband said to you out of the blue one day "Trialbyfire, I give you too much affection. I'm not going to be affectionate to you for a month." would that indicate you had consented to it? Would you even stick around a whole month to put up with that BS?
mental_traveller Posted December 2, 2008 Posted December 2, 2008 If man wants sex, start to meet her emotional needs. Women aren't sex machine. Women respond to men's love well after her emotional needs met. nor women are like men, well, some men. And men should respect women to be women, not expect them to become men, well, some men If a woman wants her emotional needs met, then meet his sexual needs. Men aren't emotion batteries. Men respond to women's love well after their sexual needs are met. Women should respect men to be men, not expect them to act like women. See the problem? You can't expect your partner to meet your needs first, without you also meeting theirs. It takes two to tango. Meet halfway and you will get much further than expecting to be waited on hand & foot.
mental_traveller Posted December 2, 2008 Posted December 2, 2008 Keep reading mental_traveller. This arsehole has cheated on her before. Hah ok - would have been helpful if OP had mentioned that little fact! In that case, I don't really see how her game playing is going to help matters. It shifts the blame but not the result, which should be to break up.
mental_traveller Posted December 2, 2008 Posted December 2, 2008 thanx for everyones comments. i agree with those of you who say i was playing a silly game and and was insecure and selfish. i guess you dont play these kind of things with your bf because it might lead to arguments and even cheating because of "no sex". let me tell you a little something. when we first started going out after 4 months he had sex with another girl, so he cheated. we broke up but got back toguether and tried to move onand forget. me and him had sex after being in the relationship 8 months. since the cheating, i had insecurities thinking he might do the same thing he had done before and have sex with someone else. thats where my insecurities came from. anyways, the rest of you say that a women needs attention not just sexually but emotionally etc. my bf is not an emotional kind of person, well atleast not with me. i have cought him talking to girls on his phone and on myspace and he shows something different to them than what he shows to me. He calls them babe, cutie etc. i dont get that kind of talk from him only once in a blue moon. after 1 1/2 year,whenever he wanted to have sex he would be nice to me and cuddle with me and talk nice to me but while doing it he would not kiss me as much as he used to at the beggining. After we were done, he got up, put his clothes on, and started braging about his looks. what else am i supposed to think? what a woman wants is after the deed the man to stay in bed and cuddle and kiss. i wasnt having that anymore so then decided to test him. He became a whole different person with me and it didnt even feel like we were a couple anymore. Well, I think the signs were there before you tried this 'test'. Since he cheated, he doesn't have any right to complain, but IMO you ought to be careful about this kind of testing if you meet another guy, because a normal guy (who hasn't cheated) will just get resentful and wonder what you are doing this for. Sorry that this guy made you feel you had to act this way, it's not your fault and in the circumstances it's quite understandable to act differently to how you might in a healthy, happy relationship. I would say move on, leave this guy behind, and get back to being yourself
Trialbyfire Posted December 2, 2008 Posted December 2, 2008 Hah ok - would have been helpful if OP had mentioned that little fact! In that case, I don't really see how her game playing is going to help matters. It shifts the blame but not the result, which should be to break up. One thing I've learned is not to ignore gut instinct when it comes to cheating personalities. I got it when she posted her first post. Men don't go out trolling if they're not the type or don't have some kind of intent. Break it down to three things: She expressed concern that he only wanted her for sex.He didn't have to agree to a month of no sex, instead agreed and then broke it.He's blatantly trolling.It all boils down to respect. He doesn't respect her and is showing her this. While some cheaters can change if they're truly remorseful, this guy isn't going to change. I'm not going to beat her up for giving him another chance. This was her call to make.
Lovelybird Posted December 2, 2008 Posted December 2, 2008 If he is a typical guy, then yes it is that important, and yes you have damaged the relationship by artificially witholding sex. A lot of guys wouldn't be that patient and would simply break up over this. Right, how flaky their "love" is I'd say it's a good thing. Guys with no patience don't get in the way I'd rather wait on hand and foot, than have a utilitarianism man.
Lovelybird Posted December 2, 2008 Posted December 2, 2008 If a woman wants her emotional needs met, then meet his sexual needs. Men aren't emotion batteries. Men respond to women's love well after their sexual needs are met. Women should respect men to be men, not expect them to act like women. This is so NOT true ! Please explain why man has one night stand, then disappear? why man who living with a woman for 4 years, still out there out looking and flirting, and not commit to this very woman who constantly sleep with him? explain why after they have sex with the women they are dating, then no call anymore? plainly lost interests? this kind of stories are all over the forum here This is because they have sex before they get to the heart part.
Author Da_1_n_OnlyN3na Posted December 2, 2008 Author Posted December 2, 2008 thank you all for your comments.. well im not sure if the reason why my "bf" was acting the way he was and trying to get to know other girls is because of the no sex deal we made. the thing is that i almost broke it but when i tried to kiss him or have anything intimate with him the thought of him touching me and kissing me while he talks to other girls denying he has a gf made me angry and i couldnt do it. how can you be with someone who you know is lying to you and keeping things from you and denying you behind your back?..no woman likes this. one of my guy co-workers told me that since me and my bf break up and make up all the time, whenever we break up he always has a girl or girls on the rebound. and he does anythig he can with them before he is ready to get back with me. i am the extra ketchup in the fries. he does whatever he likes either way. how do i know that in that one month deal he didnt have sex with one of the girls he was talking to? he acted normal and said he wasnt thinking about it so much that he was doing other stuff to get his mind away from sex...what were those other things?...getting to know other girls and maybe he would get some from them???! if he cared about me he wouldnt do these things. he preffered talking to other girls on his phone texting or going to myspace and looking at their pictures and sending them messages instead of spending time with me and talking to me. he denied my calls many times and he would take forever to reply to my texts or he would reply with just two word answers. i couldnt take it anymore so i broke up with him a few days ago. and all he said was "what? just bring me the puppy and were good...hurry up" all he asked for was to give him the puppy we both had bought 3 weeks ago and who i had that weekend because he didnt want to have him that night since he was going to a "quince party", which is a lie because i found out he actually went to the club that night. i dont really think he cares at all, all of you have good points. maybe if i hadnt done that stupid deal we wouldnt be going through all this, but if i hadnt done it i would have never seen his true colors.
Trialbyfire Posted December 2, 2008 Posted December 2, 2008 maybe if i hadnt done that stupid deal we wouldnt be going through all this, but if i hadnt done it i would have never seen his true colors. Realistically speaking, he showed you his true colours before, when he cheated on you the first time but what you're now seeing, is reinforcement of such. Take your self-respect back and punt this one to the curb, better yet, the gutter, where he belongs. Good luck! Edit - Btw, don't ever let anyone tell you what you MUST do with your own body. It's your body. If you don't want to have sex, that's okay too.
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