9Lives Posted November 27, 2008 Posted November 27, 2008 Hi LS, I have been on this site for a while due to my rollercoaster relationship with a man I really love. I have finally made up my mind that "I" am moving on. It was great in the begining but now the relationship has evolved to everything being on "his" terms. At that point the relationship is one sided and you will not be happy cause you really dont have a voice....you really have tears. Your emotions blind you cause you love them so much but you feel lousy inside cause you are watching your relationship deplete more and more to the point where you are left with crumbs I finally after almost 4 years of up and down have decided to back up, leave it alone. I am holding on to something that is not going to get better. One thing I would like to encourage those who are here because they are hurting is to USE THIS TIME TO DISCONNECT & FOR EMOTIONAL DISTANCE. I have done myself a favor and decided to let go and getting my emotions back in order. I have *changed my phone number *I am reading this book called" Dont call that man", (Very good book) *I have cue cards I keep in my pocket to read when I am having a weak moment to get my mind right *I have cut his friends that have anything to say about us out of my life for now. I just need peace. I know I deserve better. I feel better too. I just have to keep fighting for myself. Some other suggestions that might help is *Write a letter to God(if you are a believer) and express your feelings *find a book in the bookstore to help you attach to your feelings There are alot of things you can do to heal from a relationship that is not working out. YOu have to want to get there. If that man or woman wants anything to do with you, they will try to find you. YOu have to stop waiting and hoping and wishing. I love my ex but I guess he dont feel the same. Then even if they did want to see you again, are you really wanting to trust someone like that if they did not treat you right? If you were good to that person and they did not give you the same love, think twice about being involved again.
fabulousgal Posted November 27, 2008 Posted November 27, 2008 this is a great post! i try to keep thoughts like these with me. sometimes its easier than others. thanks!
EmperorR Posted November 27, 2008 Posted November 27, 2008 I like that cue card bit I wish I could change my number, she doesnt call me or txt me anymore but at least to know that she can't but I don't have the money at the moment to cancel and get a new a number.
aiina Posted November 28, 2008 Posted November 28, 2008 Hello 9lives this is a great post. People tend to answer more to post about being heartbroken maybe because that is how they feel themselves, but I have to reply on yours because I am feeling the same way. I am surprised myself that it has been just less than 5 weeks and I have been living my life quite well. This does not mean my feeling for him were weak, but this means my commitment to myself and my emotional health is stronger (even stronger to what I thought). thanks you for sharing this, it's great and empowered to read. Hope you keep posting. best to you
darnay Posted November 28, 2008 Posted November 28, 2008 9lives i've been doing pretty much what you've suggested for a couple of months now. I finally changed my number this week after I received another text from him, but aside from that I have really made a conscious effort to cut all contact with my ex and all of his friends. It's a tough thing to do but ultimately they were friends with him before we met and only really ever became acquaintances of mine. It's hard and sounds selfish but if I am to move on I don't need constant reminders of my life with him haunting me. I've gone through hell with NC but I now feel so pleased I did it. I am 3 months down the NC line and nearly 4 months since i was unceremoniously dumped. Every single day has been a struggle, there's been many tears and some real lows, but now I am finally reaching the indifference stage of how i feel towards him.
Author 9Lives Posted November 28, 2008 Author Posted November 28, 2008 I have alot of respect for you for going that long 3 months and not making contact dispite how hard it has been. I have a long way to travel but Im going. It feels weird inside because at the end of the day I love him. But I realize he is not good for me anymore. There is no need to keep taking myself down this path. The cue card that is the most powerful is USE THIS TIME TO DISCONNECT & FOR EMOTIONAL DISTANCE I need to do that and it is good for anyone future people who I begin to realize is toxic to my well being. Here goes the ride
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