Author shadowplay Posted November 29, 2008 Author Posted November 29, 2008 This is why I was so happy when my crush finally just told me he only wanted to be friends. It didn't make me feel inferior or unattractive; I was just so glad to know the truth. So the above is sure possible. what's possible?
Author shadowplay Posted November 29, 2008 Author Posted November 29, 2008 He looks pretty orthodox. Jewish? Lol. His beard and glasses make him look like a rabbi. I liked the way he looked better before. (I'm not Jewish, maybe that's the problem. )
Nemo Posted November 29, 2008 Posted November 29, 2008 He has great taste in fabric. I love shiny shirts!
johan Posted November 29, 2008 Posted November 29, 2008 Jewish? Lol. His beard and glasses make him look like a rabbi. I liked the way he looked better before. (I'm not Jewish, maybe that's the problem. ) You should come to terms with the fact that the reason you are having trouble getting over him is because of how you feel about yourself. It has little to do with him.
Isolde Posted November 29, 2008 Posted November 29, 2008 Jewish? Lol. His beard and glasses make him look like a rabbi. I liked the way he looked better before. (I'm not Jewish, maybe that's the problem. ) He looks like an interesting enough person, but meh, doesnt live up to the fairytale you wove around him.
johan Posted November 29, 2008 Posted November 29, 2008 You should put up a picture of yourself so people can see you both.
Storyrider Posted November 29, 2008 Posted November 29, 2008 He looks pretty orthodox. I think that's my cousin Josh. OK, not really. It is KMT's cousin Josh.
Nemo Posted November 29, 2008 Posted November 29, 2008 He looks like an interesting enough person, but meh, doesnt live up to the fairytale you wove around him. Rubbish. He has tastefully placed his arm in an attempt to conceal his modesty, but zooming in reveals a substantial underlying gift. Is it getting hot in here, or is it just me?!
johan Posted November 29, 2008 Posted November 29, 2008 Rubbish. He has tastefully placed his arm in an attempt to conceal his modesty, but zooming in reveals a substantial underlying gift. Is it getting hot in here, or is it just me?! Maybe he's just photogenic. Only Shadow knows if the pictures are telling the truth.
Nemo Posted November 29, 2008 Posted November 29, 2008 Maybe he's just photogenic. Only Shadow knows if the pictures are telling the truth. You're right. The camera adds about 10 pounds. For a while there, though, I thought she had struck gold.
Storyrider Posted November 29, 2008 Posted November 29, 2008 Maybe he's just photogenic. Only Shadow knows if the pictures are telling the truth. Who knows what lurks in the heart of Josh's pants? The Shadow knows.
LoveLace Posted November 29, 2008 Posted November 29, 2008 what's possible? The quote of yours in what I just posted. That you'd rather hear him say he's just not interested in you than not know, period. That this would help get closure, of course...I thought C was my dream guy but I love it now that we only want to be friends. That HE only wants to be friends with me. That was enough for me to "get over it". I cant say it's been like that with a lot of men so it's a very good feeling... The point of that advice (from whoever it was see above) was that the reason people disappear, usually, is because they don't want to hurt your feelings. So if your cool with what he says either way (truly), just flat out ask him. But think about this: how would it affect you to hear he has a girlfriend he's madly in love with? All I'm saying is think of all the possibilities that might actually make you feel worse than you do now... You also don't know if you would learn enough to feel satisfied by his answer. He might not answer at all (also consider if this would make you feel worse). What if "I'm sorry, I don't know" was all you could get out of him...or what if he avoids it all together..."Hmm. Let me think about this and get back to you"....which is a temporary wussy way out. As opposed to getting a solid list of reasons why he's not interested, just consider that he may instead have the kind of answers that may not provide you with the closure you are looking for. Plus, whatever he were to say, does it bother you to think he might lie? For instance, "I didn't feel a connection", as opposed to "I'm not attracted"....Would you still find the closure out of any of the above? I was lucky when my "crush"/friend was honest enough to say he does not want to be romantic with me. But it never occurred to me to ask WHY...(other than having a girlfriend)..I figure it's best left unsaid...and not important to me...what if that is his answer for you, too? Would it be enough? If so, then go for it. But if it would still leave you feeling too un-informed, it's like you might as well just begin steps to move on now and skip the entire idea...
Isolde Posted November 29, 2008 Posted November 29, 2008 I think that's my cousin Josh. OK, not really. It is KMT's cousin Josh. That is all.
Nemo Posted November 29, 2008 Posted November 29, 2008 Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? Bad boys rock.
johan Posted November 29, 2008 Posted November 29, 2008 Shadow disappeared. Looks like she didn't like the responses she got from the rest of you.
Author shadowplay Posted November 29, 2008 Author Posted November 29, 2008 Shadow disappeared. Looks like she didn't like the responses she got from the rest of you. Hey! Actually I turned off the internet to get some work done, and now I'm taking a wee break. Josh isn't his name, but close. Haven't seen his package unclothed, but he has a rather large...er...bulge beneath clothes.
BlueEyedGirl Posted November 29, 2008 Posted November 29, 2008 He looks hot. The guy I was obssesed with for 7 years looks like he could be your guys twin.
Author shadowplay Posted November 29, 2008 Author Posted November 29, 2008 He looks hot. The guy I was obssesed with for 7 years looks like he could be your guys twin. YOu were obsessed with a guy for seven years too? Same guy, perhaps.
Author shadowplay Posted November 29, 2008 Author Posted November 29, 2008 The quote of yours in what I just posted. That you'd rather hear him say he's just not interested in you than not know, period. That this would help get closure, of course...I thought C was my dream guy but I love it now that we only want to be friends. That HE only wants to be friends with me. That was enough for me to "get over it". I cant say it's been like that with a lot of men so it's a very good feeling... The point of that advice (from whoever it was see above) was that the reason people disappear, usually, is because they don't want to hurt your feelings. So if your cool with what he says either way (truly), just flat out ask him. But think about this: how would it affect you to hear he has a girlfriend he's madly in love with? All I'm saying is think of all the possibilities that might actually make you feel worse than you do now... You also don't know if you would learn enough to feel satisfied by his answer. He might not answer at all (also consider if this would make you feel worse). What if "I'm sorry, I don't know" was all you could get out of him...or what if he avoids it all together..."Hmm. Let me think about this and get back to you"....which is a temporary wussy way out. As opposed to getting a solid list of reasons why he's not interested, just consider that he may instead have the kind of answers that may not provide you with the closure you are looking for. Plus, whatever he were to say, does it bother you to think he might lie? For instance, "I didn't feel a connection", as opposed to "I'm not attracted"....Would you still find the closure out of any of the above? I was lucky when my "crush"/friend was honest enough to say he does not want to be romantic with me. But it never occurred to me to ask WHY...(other than having a girlfriend)..I figure it's best left unsaid...and not important to me...what if that is his answer for you, too? Would it be enough? If so, then go for it. But if it would still leave you feeling too un-informed, it's like you might as well just begin steps to move on now and skip the entire idea... What makes me sad about the whole thing is he doesn't want to even be friends with me. Reading between the lines his last comment to me implied that I was weirding him out and to not to ever talk to him again. I guess I really was too aggressive and persistent, which is very uncharacteristic of how I usually behave around men. I liked him so much that I lost all sense. He probably has me pegged as a psycho bunny boiler now. What also kills me is I would have slept with him if I hadn't cancelled on him the first time. At the last minute I flinched and lost my chance. I think if I knew the honest reason why that would give me some closure, but you're probably right that he wouldn't be honest anyway or just not respond at all.
BlueEyedGirl Posted November 29, 2008 Posted November 29, 2008 YOu were obsessed with a guy for seven years too? Yeah, we went to school together when I was 13-14. I had the biggest crush on him and at that age I had no concept of hiding my feelings or playing hard to get. So the whole school knew, and this guy knew as well. He also made it pretty obvious that he wasn't interested in me. He would say mean things like "stop staring at me you are creeping me out" and I was still obssesed. So a couple of years later I ended up moving to another country. That didn't stop my obssesion at all. I started writing him letters (snail mail) and he would actually respond but very infrequently. Say I would get a letter for him once every 3-4 months or so but that was more than enough to keep me going. I would cry myself to sleep most nights just from longing for him. Keep in mind that at that point I haven't seen him in years. Also his letters were very friend like, not romantic at all but I didn't care. Five years pass and we are still exchanging letters and my grandma gets sick so I went for a visit to my home country and of course I contacted the guy as soon as I arrived (OMFG writing all this down makes me sound like a stalker but I didn't think of myself that way then at all). He was receptive to meeting up and we went out that night. It was a warm summer evening and he told me that he got attached to me through all the letters and is happy that I am back. We walked holding hands (I was 21 at the time) and I felt like all my dreams were coming true. He kissed me at the end of the night and we made out. I kind of thought then that he is a bad kisser and that there is not as much chemistry there as I imagined. This was the first sign that reality didn't match my fantasies. We dated for a grand total of 3 weeks. Saw each other every day though so it was pretty intense but 3 weeks nonetheless. When I got to know him in real life, I started finding him increasingly annoying. He would launch into the monologues about topics I couldn't care less about and I was really bored. I didn't feel like physical chemistry was there either and didn't want to have sex (even though he pushed). But when 3 weeks later he started seeing another girl and dumped me I was still pretty upset. I even slept with his best friend to get back at him (turned out his best friend had a hidden crush on me in school). Anyway after I got back home, I didn't long for him nearly as much as I did before the visit and in less than 6 months I was over him. Neither of us contacted the other again (I'm now in my late 20's). I guess actually being with him gave me closure. I suspect that being with your guy in reality wouldn't be nearly as good as you imagine it to be.
CandyGirlXO Posted November 29, 2008 Posted November 29, 2008 You should put up a picture of yourself so people can see you both. I agree! If you don't mind.
Author shadowplay Posted November 29, 2008 Author Posted November 29, 2008 I agree! If you don't mind. I"m too shy.
CandyGirlXO Posted November 29, 2008 Posted November 29, 2008 I"m too shy. It's okay, I understand. I wouldn't do it either! But mostly because I don't want people who know me see me on this website.
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