I miss my Emotionless ex... He cares about his resume more than ppl that love him

[chulatriste]

Well My ex and i had been together for a year ... we knew eachother a few years longer ( no t well only because we had tried dating before but it didn't work out and we lost touch) During our realtionship he never ever told me that he cared for me ... we have had discussions about it and he said all that mattered is that he acted like it and he felt that he didn't have to say it... he has been through a lot in his life and he chooses not to deal with emotion.... he is also an overachiever .. i guess he uses that to compensate. ..well i go away to school and before i left he had started a new job and had almost no time.. he said he was really busy ... he didn't even have time to say goodbye to me.. . when i confronted him about it .. i told him that i understood his being busy but i still sad... we had a mini arguement and when i started letting him in on my feelings he was upset at my being upset.. he started listing all his responsibilities and told me that he had no time for emotion like this...i let him know that i was busy to and he suggested that i go take care of what i had to do and he would stay and do what he had to do.. idk why he wanted to break up over something so stupid.. we are still friends i guess i miss him lots but idk what to do about it.. it doesn't really feel like a break up because my feelings are still there ... and i want him back eventually... mabey not now but i really do love and wanthim in my life... i think he is scared that he started to feel for me.... i dont know what i should do...

[2SidestoStories]

From what you described, this fellow is quite a piece of work. (insert other four-letter words as you choose.)

 

My dear, what you must do now is move on with your life. Find something in life that truly makes YOU happy. Use this time you have now to establish the things you want, out of a relationship, out of a career, out of life in general!

 

Another member here has a quote that I am going to unfortunately misquote here, but it goes something along the lines of "Those who smash your dreams do not have dreams of their own." This may well be what is happening with your ex.

 

"When life is hard you have to change." (Immortal words of Shannon Hoon of Blind Melon, a fine fellow whom the musical community will sorely miss)

 

Missing people is healthy. Letting that hurt control you is not. You've got it in you to make the best of this situation!

[breyedgirlbc]

You need to let this guy go and move on to bigger and better things, i was in sum what of a similar situation, trying to be friends because i still cared, it rarely ever works, someone always ends up caring more then the other one.

Knowing what i know now, i would have just let things go right after we broke up, instead i chose to "try" to be friends and keep him in my life because i loved him so much, and it seemed to help the hurt to have him in my life, even if it was less then what i would have liked. All that did for me in the long run was drag a bad situation on wayyyy longer then it ever had to be, and cause way for hurt and tears in the end. Even if you feel that the pain will never go away, and you'll never care for someone as much as you cared for him, you will, time heals all(i never believed that at first either, but it really does) also another thing, out of sight, out of mind is sooo true!!! This guy obviously is to selfish to realize just how much you care about him, so just let it go and he'll end up being the lonely one in the end. I am gonna leave you with a quote that really helped me when i was going through the same thing, and remember theres gonna be good days and there is gonna be bad days, just take then as they come, one day at a time.

"Then the day came when the pain it took to hang on, became far greater then the pain it took to let go" Good luck........