alwayssme Posted November 26, 2008 Posted November 26, 2008 Grrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know I need to let go because it is the only option but although it has been 3 months, it's still hard to believe this is over! 2 weeks NC and this morning I woke up thinking about him wondering "How the hell we ended up here?" Howwwwwww???? So I hear he's been out partying and living his life with his friends, not even thinking about me. I feel so pathetic for still loving him, I wish I could control my heart and my emotions.......I try to block it out but something is still there and it feels like it will never leave no matter what...My first love, my first real heartbreak...I can't get over how cold he acted towards me, I just can't believe it. How could this be the same person I was with? I didn't deserve all the pain he put me through....I loved him, we promised each other so much, how can people lie straight to your face then walk out like you have no feelings??? He is not contacting me and I feel like he never will....It hurts me and I feel like time will keep passing and I will always love him and miss him while he wont even think of me. Is it too much to ask to want to be missed or to want a simple call?? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
amaysngrace Posted November 26, 2008 Posted November 26, 2008 He changed his mind. He is allowed. Hopefully one day you will change yours too. Honestly if I were you I'd stop thinking about him in this fairy-tale thinking you have about him and see him for who he is. Someone who got cold inside. Completely turned off like a switch. That's not somebody I'd want to cuddle up next to. No matter what he promised me way back when. I'd think of the person he is now rather than the person I had thought he was then. It's the memories that keep you holding on. Try to see it differently and see it for what it is rather than what it was. Otherwise you will keep living in the past instead of moving forward.
Sysyphus28 Posted November 26, 2008 Posted November 26, 2008 He changed his mind. He is allowed. Hopefully one day you will change yours too. Honestly if I were you I'd stop thinking about him in this fairy-tale thinking you have about him and see him for who he is. Someone who got cold inside. Completely turned off like a switch. That's not somebody I'd want to cuddle up next to. No matter what he promised me way back when. I'd think of the person he is now rather than the person I had thought he was then. It's the memories that keep you holding on. Try to see it differently and see it for what it is rather than what it was. Otherwise you will keep living in the past instead of moving forward. Your X is a different person now and you are certainly living in the past. It's time to start feeling better alwaysme.........change that name too. The whoa is me attitude needs to change and you have to start feeling better about this. YOU have to. It has been 3 months. That is a pretty good window for reconciliation(5 months is better). If it was going to happen you would know. You would have a feeling that this is going to re-spark and be REAL love again. Do you feel that he is coming back? Do you feel that this man is going to be YOUR future. Or has his piss poor treatment of you shown you his true colors. 2 years is a good amount of time. I know, I was with her for a while. My X totally F-ed me. seriously burned me. It has been a process for me. You have to accept it is over and remove yourself from being around this person or talking to this person. Don't pick up the phone............ Trust me I know. She has shown no sighn of wanting to be a real friend. She has said some things in post breakup anger that were awful. 1. She is not in love with me anymore 2.she has a new man 3. She doesn't think we can be friends because she can't trust how I will act(she can't deal with my pain) She lost a good man. and it sounds like your X lost a great woman. Chin up thier loss
lofi_tokyo Posted November 26, 2008 Posted November 26, 2008 Heya Always, I know you've seen me go through my best and worst moments, and I just have to say, eventually you will get sick of asking questions. It would be wrong of me to say I don't still hurt occasionally thinking about my ex, or that when I get up in the mornings, that I never think of him anymore. Sometimes I do. But you know what? After 4 days of posting my pain over and over, I think I've kind of come to the end of letting the breakup hurt me. You'll get there too. I can already see myself feeling "why did I even get so upset". I don't exactly know how you get to that point. Maybe its just like, you finally get so annoyed with yourself that you let go. I don't know for sure. But just keep letting yourself feel the pain you need to feel, and eventually it WILL go away.
Author alwayssme Posted November 26, 2008 Author Posted November 26, 2008 I live my life though, it's not like I'm staying at home crying all day but regardless I miss him, I didnt just "like" him...I was and still am very much in love with him and believe me, I dont fall in love easily. He was my first. I'm not contacting him because I know he would just act cold, but then I feel so sad that I lost him...not simply our relationship, I'm sad I lost him as a person....I cant even describe how weird it feels to not text him or spend time wit him....not seeing him and his family..I lived every day with him by my side and now he's gone. I'm sick of talking about this. Regardless it hurts, **** it though...nothing i can do, cant control others...*sigh* this life....
openbook08 Posted November 26, 2008 Posted November 26, 2008 I have no words alwaysme cos Im feelin exactly the same today, similar to everything you said, first love, missing his family, missing my friend, so sick of seeing things that remind me of him that I know hed love & just having to "forget"... Hes in my dreams my thoughts I can feel that knot in my tum again..... So I know exactly how youre feelin darlin. mine even has a new girlf..so quick... we'll get through it & in the meantime we can be each others rhetorical question buddies!! we'll get there. today is just a sad day.
9Lives Posted November 26, 2008 Posted November 26, 2008 You did the right thing..... It is good to walk away if the terms arent favorable. Let it go alwayssme...let it go Your not going to be happy with this guy. He is just got you "Caught up" in a dream that will not happen. He is not going to change. You are seeing the real him. leave it alone. He is not going to change. Accept it I am in the same boat and I have told myself the same thing. I tell myself every day to move on Let it go leave it alone Back off "I" am moving on..I deserve better. I was good to him I live with that and I have been moving along. He is not going to change
cubbie30 Posted November 26, 2008 Posted November 26, 2008 posting on here has been a TREMENDOUS help. i still miss my ex too, but i miss how he WAS with me, not the a**hole he was after he left. he told me to call him if i needed anything. he didn't mean it. he checked out. he still told me he loved me, but he was living with another girl. he is now a couple with her. i knew it was only a matter of time. he stiffed me on his phone bill AND left his dog here for me to feed. he is not a MAN and i sure as HELL see it clearly now. i made sure he knew EXACTLY how i feel about him and what he has done. there will be no reconciliation. i am good with it.
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