The girl he could not have

[iwanttolive]

Hi LS,

 

I'm really sad and disturbed over what my bf said yesterday. Before he met me, he liked a girl for 2 years but she did not like him *I can never understand how anyone could like someone for 2 years and unreciprocated*

 

We've been together for 1 month and I'm his first gf. I know he luv me alot and I believe he's happy with me. I know I'm special to him.

 

But yesterday, we were talking about relationship in general and it led to him confessing that sometimes he still thinks of the girl whom he liked for 2 years. He said he did not want to lie to me n he hoped I could help him.

 

I could not think straight and I told him I was devastated. He apologised for upsetting me. He said he really did not want me hurt. I asked him if he wanted to stop seeing me until he could forget that girl. He said please don't stop seeing him and he promised to get over her.

 

I don't know if I could see him the same way again. I still do love him and I know he luvs me too. But I don't know how long i will remain in the shadow of"the girl he could not have". Should I be cold to him, so he knows how it's like without me? Or should I be loving and supportive to him n help him get over her? This really hurts...

[Geishawhelk]

You're not in the shadow, you're looking at this from the wrong angle, and judging a person's ability to be with you and love you.

Instead of criticising him, and resenting him, think of how much you love him, and how stupid this girl was to not take up with someone as lovely as he is. It's her loss, your gain... right?

He wants to be with you.

He loves you, but he needs your help, support and guidance to heal from a love that never was. It was one-sided, so he knows he has to let go.

 

Be all you can for him, and more.

His honesty and candour is admirable, his consideration for your feelings, rare.

You have a good one here.

Look after it, and make it happy.

 

See how things are in a couple of months.

I'm sure they'll be different.