Twinkling Posted November 26, 2008 Posted November 26, 2008 After 5 1/2 years, he broke up with me. It has been almost been four months. We work at the same place and everything has been totally fine between us in terms of no one having any hard feelings. He just recently started seeing someone else from work and it's eating me apart regardless of the fact that I wish him happiness and all the best in life. I have had this oppurtunity come up recently to move away across the country and take a break from the routine of it all. Do I owe it to him to let him know that I am leaving? We're still incredible friends, even though I feel like I should not be giving him my friendship when I kinda-sorta feel betrayed. It crushes me to see him feeling any type of sad, but am I just being over dramatic thinking that I need to say "goodbye"?
amaysngrace Posted November 26, 2008 Posted November 26, 2008 What if the situation were reversed? Would you want him to tell you or would you rather him just leave?
Author Twinkling Posted November 26, 2008 Author Posted November 26, 2008 I would want to know of course, and I do plan on telling him. The problem is that I don't know what the ideal reaction I would want from him. Do I want him to be sad? No- It will make me feel guilty. Do I want him to be happy? No- It will make me unhappy. Do I want him to be supportive? ... I am feeling that I just need to get away and do things on my own. He has already moved on quite apparently and while I'm over it- I still have that sense of betrayal and hurt. I don't want to tell him until last minute and finally start to initiate NC for my own good.
mental_traveller Posted November 26, 2008 Posted November 26, 2008 No, you don't owe him diddly squat. It's 4 months. Over means over.
Author Twinkling Posted November 26, 2008 Author Posted November 26, 2008 Isn't it like moving without telling a close friend? Because I'm obviously telling my friends... I just know he will have a greater reaction. I know it's over and I've accepted it a few days after the fact but I'm also hurt because he started dating SO soon. I almost feel like I'm being stringed along through all the confusing things he says to me. I am in no way under false impressions that we are getting back together. Ever.
TeaAbraham Posted November 26, 2008 Posted November 26, 2008 Personally I am looking forward to the day I can move away and not tell my ex. I will be so very satisfied. If she ever comes looking for me I will have dropped off the map. Perhaps I am much more angry at her for what she did than you are, though.
Recommended Posts