goldencloud Posted November 25, 2008 Posted November 25, 2008 you guys as i write this, i write in absolute shock me and this guy had been friends since first year of university(6 years now). throughout university he had been my best friend. we were extremely close. i had a huge crush on him my first year but it wasn't reciprocated i guess. like sometimes i'd get feelings there could be more, cos him and i, we just REALLY REALLY get along..anyways i got over it, and we remained JUST as close as ever, and he'd always remakr how even though life wise we're very different..im the social butterfly kind of girl, loves going out, different groups of friends..him more small gorup of friends, more serious, and definatley not as flighty as me...even though how 'different' we seem on the outset that we have such a close emotional click anyways i had one serious bf throughout uni, we broke up when i left. and he dated 2 girls seriously...we both elft the country..he moved back to his country and i moved to mine (they are close by). anyways a year went by, we didn't see eachother cos different countries...i would write, him not so much cause he's not the email type but he calls me and tells me he wants to visit me he came last weekend, it was so good to see him, and trust me, we're on that kind of friendship where i can NEVER envision what happened would have happened..more so from his side..like i said i used to have strong feelings for him once first night we went out, had a few drinks, some slight flirtation, and i started dancing, i always do haha..well he moved closer to him(he says to gauge my interest) and before you know it ..we're MAKING OUT HARD CORE..we left the bar, and he's still kissing me so much..like this was passionate..we got home and well the rest is history the next day we acted super casual, like no kissing nothing, the one time we spoke of it, he remarked (alomost in a surprised way) how 'passionate' it was...what makes this awkward is that he has an open relationship..(been with her 2 yrs but she's in another country) anyways that night even though we were all platonic that day, we slept together again the next morning, we act all casual again..i tried to play it off..sometimes id catch him looking at me different ways..but inspite of it all, the night before he left we slept together again...and even though he acts so platonic throughout the day, at night he'll all be like 'i can't get enough of you' 'you're gorgeous etc etc' honestly i know some may think he's a jerk, or he just wanted this all along but throughout uni, there were chances he NEVER instigated, cos at same time it would have made things awkward..like the thought of anyone knowing this happened between us is shocking, even i am in denial now... we haven't really talked since he left, just a casual text from him. it's really bizarre what happened cos him and i are beyond close,never envisioned it from his side.. and he's those EXTREMELY sensible type guys, not a player at all!! im just so confused?!! i cant even say i regret it i don't know what i want..its too shocking to envision him and i in relationship..also at same time he's kinda shocked too, and maybe feels bad cos of his open relationship...help?!
norajane Posted November 25, 2008 Posted November 25, 2008 Well, the in your title indicates that this isn't a good thing. Probably because you didn't discuss it AT ALL and because he has a gf - which doesn't make you happy because you would want a RELATIONSHIP rather than just a weekend hook-up. If he is truly your friend, then you should be able to talk about it. If you bring it up and he wiffle-waffles, or tries to avoid the discussion, then you know all you need to know. It was just a hook-up and there's no more there and he has no intention of dropping his gf for you. So TALK to him. This is important and you have every right to tell him your thoughts and ask him for his.
Author goldencloud Posted November 25, 2008 Author Posted November 25, 2008 yeah you're right im just in a state of shock we're in different countries though and ive had feelinsg for him bfore so definatley dont want to look deeply into it it's just all shocking, weird, yet good at same time
zhsoj Posted November 25, 2008 Posted November 25, 2008 That is a great idea that guy had... Befriend you in school, wait six years, and then make a move... Instant success... I'd totally do that... Except I was an comp sci student
Author goldencloud Posted November 25, 2008 Author Posted November 25, 2008 i know!!! 6 years of amazing friendship! this guy has been there for me at EVERY interval of my life, no mattere how different our lives have been, he has always been there for me and vice versa and then came to visit me, but this is SO SHOCKING i dont wanan feel like a booty call tho i did underplay it alot and he kept making 'jokes' asking if all he was was a weekend fling
kashmir Posted November 25, 2008 Posted November 25, 2008 Um, a guy wouldn't hang around for six years just to have sex with you and then hit the road. Even I have better things to do than do that. If you're worried whether your friendship is in jeopardy, don't. You both will either write it off as a one time thing or it will develop into something more. Both ways your relationship with him stays in tact.
Author goldencloud Posted November 25, 2008 Author Posted November 25, 2008 i really hope so!! thank you guys for input i mean in a way i could see this developing we get on like a house on fire but its just the weirdness of it all!!! does anyoen else have stories like this>!
kashmir Posted November 25, 2008 Posted November 25, 2008 i really hope so!! thank you guys for input i mean in a way i could see this developing we get on like a house on fire but its just the weirdness of it all!!! does anyoen else have stories like this>! Honestly, I can see this happening to me in the future. I have a girl friend who is my best friend. We hang out all the time and we connect so well with each other. Now an then we'll tease or flirt with each other and sometimes, in my eyes at least, we've had our moments where it felt like something more...like one time when we hugged goodbye and neither of us would let go for a good 30 seconds. Problem is she still is seeing her bf from high school, whom she hardly ever mentions to me. I'm just her friend now and I'm looking into other girls, but if she ever becomes available she'd definitely be my first choice. The same might have been going on with this guy.
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