IM5150 Posted November 25, 2008 Posted November 25, 2008 I'm sure I can't get a diagnosis here but any insight would be helpful for me. My girlfriend was once my other woman in an affair that ended up costing me my marriage. I now live with my girlfriend. Every now and then she becomes angry and little things that make no sense to me why she gets angry. She blames me for most of her anger and depression. I have lived a very normal life growing up. I'm a laid back guy that does not like to argue. In my previous marriage I don't remember ever rasing my voice at my wife or getting into a heated argument. My girlfriend on the other hand has had a rocky upbringing. Her parents treated her badly, she was selling dope on the streets at an early age, her father doesn't want to talk to her anymore. There's been violent behavior in her household growing up, I'm not sure if it was physical but definitely verbal. When she argues with me she always wins hands down because she's so much better at it than I am. I fele hopeless even when I know I'm right. Our arguments get verbally violent if i continue to try and defend myself to the point where I just want to turn myback on her and walk away but that makes her even more agressive. Last night she grabbed me by the neck, the other night she slapped me. I've been called every name in the book. Even after all of this I still love her and I really want her to get better. Am I fool for blaming it on her upbringing? When she's doing OK she's a very loving person that loves me very much and cares about me. It's only when she get's into these weird stages that she turns from a princess into a beast that I fear sometimes. I think she might be bi-polar but I'm not sure. I need some advise.
PandorasBox Posted November 25, 2008 Posted November 25, 2008 Wow and to think you left your wife for that kind of behavior? Was she like this when you started seeing her? Bi-polar or not, there is no excuse for her slapping you or grabbing you. To me that doesn't sound like bi-polar, it sounds like abuse. Maybe suggest she get into some counseling for that, if you insist on staying with her, it might benefit you to go to see a counselor as well.
Sysyphus28 Posted November 25, 2008 Posted November 25, 2008 I'm sure I can't get a diagnosis here but any insight would be helpful for me. My girlfriend was once my other woman in an affair that ended up costing me my marriage. I now live with my girlfriend. Every now and then she becomes angry and little things that make no sense to me why she gets angry. She blames me for most of her anger and depression. I have lived a very normal life growing up. I'm a laid back guy that does not like to argue. In my previous marriage I don't remember ever rasing my voice at my wife or getting into a heated argument. My girlfriend on the other hand has had a rocky upbringing. Her parents treated her badly, she was selling dope on the streets at an early age, her father doesn't want to talk to her anymore. There's been violent behavior in her household growing up, I'm not sure if it was physical but definitely verbal. When she argues with me she always wins hands down because she's so much better at it than I am. I fele hopeless even when I know I'm right. Our arguments get verbally violent if i continue to try and defend myself to the point where I just want to turn myback on her and walk away but that makes her even more agressive. Last night she grabbed me by the neck, the other night she slapped me. I've been called every name in the book. Even after all of this I still love her and I really want her to get better. Am I fool for blaming it on her upbringing? When she's doing OK she's a very loving person that loves me very much and cares about me. It's only when she get's into these weird stages that she turns from a princess into a beast that I fear sometimes. I think she might be bi-polar but I'm not sure. I need some advise. Dude, we just can't win. They all have something...........we all have something. The grass just isn't greener. You don't remember ever raising your voice with your last relationship/marriage now your getting slapped around by some girl who goes through "wierd stages". I think getting slapped in the face is straight up abusive. Princess to beast. GEEZ MAN. Get rid of this chick asap. She is a homewrecker who used to sell drugs on the corner. This is what you left a woman you never argued with for. Good woman are hard to find man. Here is your advice. If any member of a relationship is resorting to physical violence to get thier "point" across it is an unsuccessful and doomed relationship. AT NO point is it worth getting slapped in the face by your partner.....by someone who loves you. Grow a set of balls and tell this looney homewrecker where to go. You need a nurturing loving person who is interested in your growth as a person. Not some looney toon that is grabbing by your neck like a dog. ARe you serious. Change the locks and bar the windows because if you don't dump her now....it will get worse!
Geishawhelk Posted November 25, 2008 Posted November 25, 2008 Bi-polar, polar bear, round the polar, it doesn't matter. The minute anyone lays their hands on another person with the intention of doing them harm, it's abuse. It's wrong. And whilst a mental state may be a factor, that's neither for you to diagnose or manage. you're not professionally or emotionally equipped to do so and there's no reason why you should. There is however, every reason for you to make a quick exit. For your own good.
mental_traveller Posted November 26, 2008 Posted November 26, 2008 My girlfriend on the other hand has had a rocky upbringing. Her parents treated her badly, she was selling dope on the streets at an early age, her father doesn't want to talk to her anymore. There's been violent behavior in her household growing up, I'm not sure if it was physical but definitely verbal. Dump her immediately and never contact her again (or let her contact you). You are utterly insane and stupid as hell if you think you can have a functional, happy relationship with a complete messed-up whack job like this girl. If never ceases to amaze me how many otherwise sensible people will happily engage in relationships with walking train-wrecks. Look at this girl's past behaviour. Drug dealer, from a violent abusive home, someone quite willing to steal another woman's man through adultery, compulsive arguer. Sorry to break it to you, but she shows all the ingredients of being a classic bunny boiler. You are TOTALLY NUTS if you stay with her a minute longer. She will make your life hell and you will become even more miserable than you are now. God help you if you get her pregnant or marry her. Get the hell out while you have your sanity and liberty still intact. DON'T be yet another chump, willingly plunging his head into the lion's den. Also, never tolerate physical violence. Leave her, then report her to the police for battery.
Enema Posted November 26, 2008 Posted November 26, 2008 Allowing her to treat you poorly validates the behaviour in her mind. You must stop her, or leave. Simple.
whichwayisup Posted November 26, 2008 Posted November 26, 2008 She has some serious issues from her childhood and upbringing! And, her abusive behaviour now is NOT an excuse as she is an adult and SHOULD be in counselling for her anger issues which have now led to physically abusing you! Also the emotional abuse too! Not only that, she has poor communicate skills, has an ego to boot (always has be right no matter what) and she doesn't have much respect for you either. Love or not, this woman has a very serious problem and she needs help. TELL her she MUST go to counselling and anger management. Imagine if the situation was reversed. She'd be out the door so fast...
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